To Destroy The One You Love
by Vampire Louis
Summary: Aya has sold that which is most important to him, and he doesn't even realize the value until it's gone. What's done is done however, and Schuldig never gives back what belongs to him.
1. Desire

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To Destroy the One You Love

Chapter: Desire

Pairing: Yohji/Aya; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg-ish (thus far, R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, dark themes (for now).

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously... ;;

Author notes: This is the prequel/teaser for a much longer story.

Feedback: Pretty pretty please?

Thanks to: Nix and Stephi-chan for looking it over for me and thanks to everyone who reads this for taking the time to read it.

Everything you do has such a sweet sadness tainting it- like the honey you coat your words in. You're so tragic, but in that tragedy you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon. I don't want to see you in depressions but I wonder- if I take away that melancholy air you have, would I ruin the image I see before me? Funny, most people would not think twice about helping mend the broken wings of a person in need yet here I sit and hesitate in my own pointless meanderings. Should I intervene and destroy a masterpiece or leave you alone in your maleficent perfection.

Instead of meddling to the point that I squander what you have created, mayhap I should merely molest you enough to change the air of "sad" ever so slightly rather than vanquishing it all together. That would certainly appease my aesthetic sense of being but would it mollify everything else quaking in this person that I am? Probably not. I'm as mixed up as anyone could ever be and I doubt there is anything that could ever entirely satisfy every bit of my mind, body and soul.

Of course, this doesn't mean something can't come close. As it stands, you have seemed to sink into my veins like a dark liquid pleasure circulating through my system, quenching every other thirst you brush against. God, how I must have you. I must own you... possess you... dominate everything that you are. I won't be satisfied with a taste or a half-assed effort when it comes to you, Kudou. Oh no, I must conquer every bit for my very own which I plan to selfishly keep locked away from everyone else. I do not share. Especially something that compliments me as well as you.

I know I'm going to get in trouble for what I have planned for you, Precious, but I could hardly care less. I'm -always- in SOME sort of trouble so what is one more thing to the list of already incriminating transgressions tainting my guilt-stricken name? Hardly anything to be concerned with.

Now, the only obstacle that stands in my way of getting exactly what I desire is... him. I hate him. He is nearly oblivious to how much influence and power he holds over your pretty little head. He is what could break you or make you and I loathe every fiber of his being for it. You're mine, Balinese, and soon enough I will let you know it. Perhaps he is a menacing pothole in my road to victory but he is just that, a pothole, not the canyon I believe most think he is.

Sure, he has your heart and every other pressing thought. Sure, you wish he would claim your body in ways that I may yearn to but that doesn't mean he isn't expendable. That doesn't mean he's something permanent. You may cherish him but I do not and I am not as fickle to care if I tear him up in front of you just to prove my point. You're my property and I do NOT share with ANYONE. I hope you understand that soon, or else there will be a lot of missing people in the news and all of them will be directly linked to you. Everyone you fancy will come to an end at my hand and don't think I won't do it. I will go to great lengths to teach you the lesson you need to learn. After all, it was I who had a hand in Asuka's death and she wasn't nearly as irritating as your little redheaded half-wit.

But for now Sweetheart, you can sleep safely in your dreams of Aya's arms while I bide my time until the opportunity presents itself where I may sweep in and brush away the garbage you so desperately cling to.

Sweet dreams Yohji, Schuldig is watching.

TBC

To clear up any confusion, yes, this was written in Schu's POV. . ;


	2. A Deadline for Confessions

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 1: A Deadline for Confessions.

Pairing: Yohji/Aya; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't You had down . own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _POV and which character you'll be following will shift around a bit so don't get confused too much. Also, Yohji refers to Ran as "Aya" but Ran refers to himself as "Ran" so you may notice a shift in the designated name for Ran when you switch POV._

Tygrrlyli – Well, because you decreed it… who am I to say otherwise? Here's the next chapter.

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: A BIG thanks to Sywren for being my beta reader! And all those who bother to read my stuff, Thanks everyone!

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The store had been closed for nearly an hour when Ran finally noticed the small package sitting by the door of the Koneko. How long had it been there and how it got there in the first place were as big a mystery to him as why it was addressed to Abyssinian. Was it from Kritiker?

No... Manx would have dropped it off in person rather than leave the small box in the open where eyes of the mundane could happen upon it. That meant...

Alert suddenly filled the redhead as he cautiously skirted around the seemingly harmless object. It was addressed to Abyssinian and if it wasn't from Kritiker then it was from an enemy, which meant it was probably a trap. Or a message.

With the patience of a saint, Ran inspected the object in scrutiny. Lavender eyes searching for triggers or wires that could possibly be threads for a bomb. When his eyes came up with nothing and his fingers found no trace of a result either, the "leader" of Weiss slowly took off the lid to the box and carefully peered inside.

A picture. There was just a picture of a familiar form sleeping in bed that was a stranger to the redhead. From the look of things, sleep couldn't have been very pleasing for the person simply because they looked like they were being pained by a nightmare... or a memory. Attached to the picture was a perfect little lock of golden hair neatly tied off with a black ribbon. There wasn't a note or even a single written word to explain why the objects were sent to him but then again, Ran didn't need an explanation. He already knew.

This was a form of taunting that made the assassin's hands shake violently. This was a reminder of the despicable thing he had done and was now starting to regret. Betrayal wasn't something Ran did but... desperate times called for desperate measures and his current mistake had been taken as a result of a desperate measure. What else could he have done? Was there another way? Did he even look for one if there was?

The picture slid from ivory white fingers and floated to the ground in silence while those very fingers curled tightly around the lock of gold hair like a drowning man would cling to a life preserver. Regret. Out of everything he had ever done, this was the one action in his life that he was actually starting to truly regret. Perhaps because this was the first time he betrayed someone of importance to himself and to others who he possibly cared about. He may have very well have put everyone in jeopardy all for the sake of his own selfish causes.

"Oh, Yohji..." The whisper barely escaped trembling lips, "What have I done?"

* * *

Several days earlier

* * *

Today was the day- there wasn't a better time or place for it than now and Yohji knew it.

Smiling at his reflection, the man ran fingers through the tangled blond mess to work out any knots that may have formed in the process of sleeping. Perhaps one of the more beautiful things about having hair just barely above your shoulders was that it was long enough to play with but short enough that it didn't need brushing. Hey, why work at something when you don't have to?

When the golden strands were all in place, Yohji mused over his looks for a minute longer. Strange that he would spend this time tinkering over his appearance when all he was doing today was going downstairs to work, in theory that is. Outside of theory, what he really had planned was a secret to everyone but him.

For today was the day he, Kudou Yohji, was going to try and honestly confront Fujimiya Aya- err _Ran_ with his feelings that had being lurking in the depths of his mind for far too long.

Did he stand a chance? No, but then again he wasn't really expecting a positive response to his confession. In fact, Yohji went as far as to assume that if he got out of the situation lacking a black eye then he'd call it a good day. Aya didn't like him, he knew that, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try. The man was worth it- even if he was stubborn, short tempered, obnoxiously rude, frighteningly antisocial, remotely psychotic, lacking in anything even resembling social skills and entirely too anal retentive for anyone's good, Yohji liked him. Why? Because it made the man stand out in a sea of nameless faces that was the populous of the world. He was unique enough that he stuck out boldly and with his devastatingly good looks; he was certainly something to be desired. Perhaps even worshipped if that's what it came down to.

Yeah, Yotan spent one too many nights going over the reasons for his seemingly misplaced affection. Sure, he still disliked men and the way most of them treated women and sure, he even still loved women with all their soft and wicked ways but Aya -- Aya was an exception to the rules of, well, everything. In so many ways Aya was simply... above.

Crap. The eldest member of Weiss irritably rubbed at his face while allowing a low groan to escape his lips. When had fascination turned into obsession and when was it going to stop? When this whole thing started he had assumed it was merely the fault of a sexually starved brain and an eye that could appreciate physical beauty. However, when hours turned into days and days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months with no sign of the interest fading, he knew he was royally fucked. And not in the fun way either.

Taking in a deep breath, Yohji turned away from his mirror only to walk across the room to grab his keys off the desk so he could leave for his shift fifteen minutes early. Fifteen minutes would be enough time to explain to the perpetually cranky redhead how he felt, right? One could only hope so.

Glancing back at the cluttered room upon reaching the door, Balinese sighed and gave the picture of a lovely woman on his nightstand a little wink.

"Wish me luck Asuka, I sure could use it." In his head, the blue haired girl would laugh at him for his hopeless pursuit but blow him a kiss and wish him luck anyway. She had always been sweet like that.

The door closed and the assassin drifted down the hall and down the stairs towards the shop where his fate sat in the furthest corner clipping roses for an arrangement.

"Here goes nothing."

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TBC 


	3. Dealing with the devil

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 2: Let's Make a Deal.

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: I thought about breaking this up into two chapters to match the other short chapters in this arch but… eh, I figured "oh why the hell not just leave it long and be done with it?" so guess what happened? I left it long and was done with it. laughs C'est la vive I guess.

/…/ telepathic thoughts

Thanks to:

**Sywren - **_you're a life savor! You'll always have hugs and bonus points from me!_

**Tygrrlyli -** _laughs well of course you're pregnant but the real question is: Do I get visiting rights?_

_

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_

Life had been going smoothly and things had begun feeling akin to normal after Weiss had collected itself and recovered from the Esset fiasco. Aya-chan was awake now and doing well at her school, taking the time to drop in and visit everyone at the Koneko whenever she had the chance. The girl would often bring the boys cookies or little homemade things to brighten their day and embarrass her older brother in the process. Not that it was particularly hard to embarrass him these days but she took pride in those little blushes of flusterment. Why? Because they were enough to tell her that she was getting through to him in _some_ way, as small and subtle as it may be. After all, a little was better than nothing... right?

As if by clockwork, an hour and a half after Aya-chan began her visit, Ran would inform her that she should be doing her studies and in the end he would send her on her way, back to the little apartment he was paying for her to live in. The others would (over) dramatically mourn her leaving then relentlessly taunt Ran about the things Aya-chan had said before he glared them into silence and the day would go by as it usually did. This was the norm and this was something Ran could live by. A way of life that he could adjust to properly without too much trouble. This was comfortable.

Perhaps a little too comfortable.

"Hey Aya!" Honey like vibrations ran through the redhead's ears as he finished clipping roses for an arrangement, visibly pausing his fluid movements. Only Yohji could do that and damn him for being able to.

"Ran." the younger of the two corrected automatically. When was that man _ever_ going to catch on?

"Sorry." The blond smiled, as if he were really sorry. Of course, he wasn't but... "Ran, I was wondering if I could talk to you privately for-"

"I'm busy. " Ran was not even going to bother to hear the rest of the babble his fellow assassin had decided to conjure up. He simply didn't have the time or the patience for it.

"Later then?"

"I have to pick up Aya-chan later."

"Tomorrow?"

Again, as typical to Ran's nature, the response was followed by a grunt and nothing more. Yes, he was rudely blowing off his teammate but he was doing it on purpose in hopes that Yohji would get the hint to go away. Why would he do such a thing to a co-worker and brother in crime? Because Ran hated Yohji and he couldn't fathom why the other insisted on talking to him, let alone try to befriend him in any way. Hadn't Ran made it clear that he didn't _want_ to be friends? Hadn't he made it clear that he loathed everything the blonde did so that it was highly improbably that they could ever form any kind of functioning relationship beyond the relationship of teammates? Apparently not.

"Come on Ran." The eldest started in again, causing Ran to finally look up at his annoyance embodied.

There was always such a carefree, and perhaps lazy, air to the playboy. As if he could be at ease anywhere, much like a large and over fed house cat. Ran's eye twitched slightly at the thought. He hated uselessness.

Shaking his head, the "leader" caught sight of those jade colored orbs calmly settling on him despite the whirl of not-so-calm thoughts behind them. Yohji had always been good at hiding what was going on in his head but Ran had always been better at picking up on his subtle give-aways.

For example, Balinese was squinting at something he should not be squinting at which suggested he was putting effort into staying focussed on the matter at hand. Too much thinking and stressing caused that, but what was there for him to stress over in this situation out of the normal?

Beyond the squinting, the man's smile he persistently presented was strained and that meant he was actually thinking about keeping his smile on instead of just letting it flow like normal. Now, _that_ was actually interesting. Why on earth would he be doing that? It wasn't like Ran cared if he smiled or not.

"No. I'm working, stop pestering me." The redhead retorted while looking back at the roses he had just cut, all together missing the hurt expression flickering across his companion's face. Not that Ran would care if he saw it. Ran never cared about anything Yohji did. There was just no reason for it.

"I'll... catch you later then." There was hesitation in those words and it caused something to click in the back of the "leader's" mind. Had he really just offended Yohji? Since when did _Yohji_ take offence to anything _Ran_ had to say?

"Hn." Best not to actually respond with more or he might take that as an excuse to start conversation again. Ran had to get the rest of the roses clipped before he could help Omi finish closing so that he could go pick up Aya-chan from her study group. There was no time for chitchat, especially pointless chitchat with a certain annoying blond someone.

The footsteps echoing in the nearly empty shop told the redhead that his distraction was retreating and he could get back to work. Thank the gods.

Within the hour, Omi and Ran had successfully finished their closing chores, which made it possible for Ran to run off and play the responsible big brother. He didn't particularly care for the role but it WAS his responsibility and he wasn't about to start slacking on it. With their parents gone and no other family alive, Aya-chan was his charge and not just while she was in a coma either. Awake Aya-chan needed tending to as well and because of this, Ran still accepted missions.

It wouldn't be long until the girl would be old enough to completely take care of herself and it would be in that time that Ran could retire from the life of an assassin. Of course, there lay a problem in this manor of thinking. Could he ever -really- just retire from Weiss? Sure he hated the blood shed and constant death that followed him around but could he really just step back from it all and leave? Was it possible to be a killer for several years then one day just up and leave to go live a normal life? Probably no,but Ran wasn't about to tell himself otherwise. Freedom was almost his and he wasn't about to give it up just because of some negative speculation on his behalf. No way.

A tired white Porsche rolled to a stop in front of an average looking Japanese home which was supposed to contain a small study group that his sister always partook in every Wednesday night. Aya-chan had the diligence of a saint to be able to keep up with everything that she did, not that Ran was surprised by this. After all, she WAS a Fujimiya.

Shutting off with the flick of a key, the car allowed its commander to step out of it in silence. The air was thick and for some reason it left the assassin inside of Ran feeling on guard. So, with quick and precise movements due to the edginess Abyssinian felt, the man was standing in front of the door knocking upon it in no time, hoping that he wasn't late. Aya-chan gave hellish lectures on punctuality. Funny enough, in that moment he would have been grateful to be on the receiving end of one of those lectures if it meant he could just see her face and acknowledge that she was okay. For some reason he had assumed that these phantom worry spells were over but apparently not. How silly of him to believe such a thing.

"Hello?" A housewife in her younger years had answered the door with a smile.

"I'm here to pick up Aya Fujimiya." You'd think after this long he wouldn't have to state that anymore. Oh well.

"She left a half an hour ago, I had assumed she left with you." The woman looked as puzzled as Ran felt. Those weren't the words he was expecting, or wanting, to hear.

"Ah, I guess not. Thank you." Taking his leave, Ran frowned darkly and made his way back to the vehicle. Why would Aya take off and not tell him? The frown only grew darker when he slipped into his car and started it, questions spinning about like some out of control merry-go-round as he pulled away from the curb. Aya _always_ called him and told him if she didn't need picking up. Who would she have left with anyway? None of her friends drove, or at least none of the ones HE knew of. Maybe she caught the bus home, but then again... why wouldn't she have called to tell him that?

Panic stirred in the back of Ran's mind and his foot pressed down on the pedal a little harder. Perhaps he was a little more protective over Aya-chan than most brothers were of their little sisters, but most brothers didn't have to deal with the actual threat of their sister being kidnapped by opposing assassin groups and evil organizations that they slaughtered in their free time for money. Rationally the redhead wanted to say everything was fine but a little voice inside his head insisted on whispering a fact he knew all too well. Just because you think everyone is after you doesn't mean they aren't.

Reaching Aya's apartment in record time, Ran made quick work of getting out of his car and making his way to the building looming above him. Despite the lights inside, the place was dark and slightly ominous at night... something he hadn't noticed until now. Damn it. The florist quickened his pace and took the stairs three at a time instead of bothering with the elevator. The damn thing was slow and he was in a hurry, a combination that never worked out well in the end. Of course, after the fifth floor he was beginning to think that maybe the elevator hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

Reaching the seventh floor caused a brief burst of relief in Ran as he swiftly pressed out of the area for the stairs and into the hallway where he could reach his little sister's apartment at the end.

702. Someone had better be home.

He knocked first, due to the last commotion his "sudden intrusions" had caused when he hadn't knocked. Aya valued her privacy and even though Ran didn't, he respected her wishes and gave her the space she needed. After the third round of knocking, Ran threw caution to the wind and let himself in. To hell with curtsies, safety came first. It was quiet inside but the lights were on, a good sign that she was probably there and possibly just in the bathroom or... something.

"Aya?" No response.

"Aya, it's me. Are you home?" There. A rustling sound from the bedroom let way for a wave of pure relief while the redhead hauled himself down the hallway towards the room where the noise came from. The door was cracked open and light was shinning inside so the man felt it safe to knock then enter. If she wasn't dressed or something she could bitch at him later for it, right now he just needed to see her and make sure she was alright.

"Aya-chan," the leader of Weiss started in on his berate as soon as he pushed open the door, "Why didn't you call me to tell me you didn't need me to pick you up?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware we were on that level of speaking terms."

Time stopped.

The person standing before him wasn't the sweet blue haired girl he had been expecting to see. In fact, the person before him wasn't sweet, blue haired or even a girl at all. The person standing in front of him with a nasty little smile was a tall red headed German man in a perfectly pressed white suit.

"Schwartz." Shock, loathing, fear, anxiety, anticipation, worry... all the emotions flooded through his voice when he spoke the name of his hated enemy. Why was HE here?

"Schuldig, actually, and I'm here..." the other started with a grin still plastered on his lips, "to make a deal with you. Now, before you start in on your "Shi-ne" utterance, I want to remind you that you should be cautious what you say to the man who has your sister in his possession." There was a pause as if he was realistically waiting for Ran to comment.

When silence followed, Schuldig continued. "You see, these past months have been very boring without a boss to work for and you Weiss boys cutting back on actual missions, so I started plotting ways to get some quality entertainment out of you kittens."

Ran glared as strings of profanity and sanguinary images ran his mind causing Schuldig to let out a snort.

"So much pent up rage, you should really find more effective means of venting your frustrations. " The German was leaning back on Aya's bed as if he owned the place. Ran couldn't have hated him more in that moment, "Anyway, I found a solution to my problem but realized it was going to cause a small predicament for me. So, to get the ball rolling, I needed something precious of yours that I could trade for something else of equal value."

Trade? The hell? What could Schuldig possibly want to trade?

"I'm. Getting. To. That." Schwartz ground out in exasperation. "Now, I know what you're thinking," There was a momentary gap in words for something akin to a chuckle, "You're thinking that there is nothing as precious to you as your little sister. Well... you don't know this yet but you're wrong. I've spent a lot of time researching you, Ran Fujimiya, and I have finally decided on what I want."

"Why?" The redhead gritted through his teeth, taking a small stab of joy in seeing that the question off centered the other cocky assassin.

"Because, Ran, I hate you." The grin that followed the statement made Ran sick to his stomach. How could someone say that sort of thing and smile as if they were complimenting you? "I've _always_ hated you but that's not the main reason I'm doing this. You see, there are many reasons behind this decision of mine and hating you is merely the cherry on top. The main reason I'm doing this is because you have something I want and I want you to hand it over to me on a silver platter."

This did not bode well for the white assassin but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what Schuldig could possibly want from him.

"You're not even going to humor me by asking what I want, are you?" Ran remained silent and Schuldig frowned.

/You really are a stubborn bastard, Abyssinian./

/Stay out of my fucking head, Schuldig./

"Fine." The German grumbled, taking the time to light up a cigarette in front of the other for the sheer purpose of grading on his nerves. "So should I tell you what I want your can you guess on your own?"

Silence.

"Tch. Be like that." The telepath blew smoke in his rival's direction with a nastier frown than before. "I want one of your teammates."

"Who."

"Balinese."

Ran actually tried not to laugh or even crack a smile. Was he serious? Did he really think Yohji meant as much to him as Aya-chan did? Who in their right mind could possibly conjure up the idea that Yohji meant more to him than a pile of soiled laundry? Was he blind or just stupid?

"Balinese?" Ran double checked to make sure he hadn't heard incorrectly.

"Balinese." The German smiled with a nod, as if he knew something Ran didn't. How preposterous. "I want him with no strings attached. I don't want anyone coming to look for him when you hand him over, gift wrapped, in exchange for your sister. I don't care how you do it; just make it happen by Saturday evening when we meet back here for the exchange."

"Wait, I only have until Saturday?" Red eyebrows drew together in concentration and frustration.

"Did it sound like I said Monday? Yes, Saturday evening. Seven-o-clock sharp, Abyssinian. If you fail to deliver what I want to its fullest extent then I won't hesitate to harm your precious little sister. Do I make myself clear?"

Ran was sending him looks that could kill when he nodded. If Schuldig so much as laid a hand on-

"Guten tag then." Came the words followed by a chuckle as its owner moved towards a window that Ran hadn't even had time to notice was open. The Schwartz assassin slipped out of it then out of site without so much as a sound, leaving the "leader" of Weiss to suddenly curse his clumsiness with is sister's safety. Trading Balinese for Aya-chan wouldn't be so hard but getting away with it unscathed would be another story entirely. Could he really betray Kritiker and Weiss so easily?

Of course he could. The only person that matter to him was his sister. Not Kritiker. Not Weiss. And certainly not Yohji.

* * *

TBC 


	4. The Imbecilic and the Contemptible

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 3: The Imbecilic and the Contemptible

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: Umm none I guess?

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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After coming home in a drive that could be understated as "stony silence", Ran went straight to his room where he spent the next two days hiding and simply trying to think up ways to get Yohji out of the house and out of the watchful eye of Kritker. How does one go about making an assassin vanish without anyone questioning later?

The redhead swore under his breath, rubbing at his temples until the idea struck him like a lightening bolt all at once. The only way to get rid of Yohji without anyone wondering where he went later would be to kill him. No one would send search teams for a dead person. No one would send check-up emails and "come back to us" letters to a dead person. So, now that he knew _what_ to do, another problem raised itself. How?

Shifting in his head, Ran couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the idea of plotting something so horrible for a teammate of his. Even if he hated Yohji... Yohji was still a member of Weiss. Yohji was still his teammate... Yohji was...

Noises from downstairs alerted the "leader" that someone was up and amiss at this strange hour. Of course, due to process of elimination and what not, it was easy to determine who this "someone" was. Very few people in the Weiss hostel came home at two in the morning and made THAT much noise.

What a fucking horrible night.

It was raining outside.

Correction - It was _pouring_ outside and to top it all off it was windy as hell, which didn't make for pleasant outings. Not that Yohji had planned on an outing but when your car decides to get a flat tire after you come home from a solo mission, you haven't much of a choice other than to get your ass out in that weather and fix it. Yohji hated fixing flat tires but what he hated more than fixing flat tires was fixing flat tires in the freezing cold wind and rain.

Thank the gods the Koneko was warm. There was very little doubt in the blonde's head that if he had come home and the place had been frigid, he would have cried. _Everything_ had gone wrong tonight and he found himself wishing he hadn't taken that damn last minute solo assignment. It was supposed to be an easy mission, just go to a predetermined club, follow around some guy and try to pick up as much data on the place, and person, that he could.

What could _possibly_ go wrong, right? Heh.

In the first half an hour, he lost his target. It didn't help that said target was the most nondescript-average-looking-Joe on the face of the planet. There was nothing about his dress or looks that could catch one's attention and make it easier on an assassin wanting to follow him. When Yohji bitterly realized that he had lost his target, he headed towards the parking lot to see if the man had just left all together. Sadly it was then, when he was crossing the club that some gawd awful sleazy blockheads caught up with him. Despite his reputation for fucking anything on two legs, Yohji was not so loose with his sexual ways that he would gladly bend for two unappealing assholes like them.

When they didn't get the point that he wasn't interested, a fight broke out. Security had to come and throw his ass out of the club, which naturally only furthered to shame the assassin when he realized he hadn't been inside long enough to get a good look at the interior lay out. Then of course, to add insult to injury, Balinese later became more aware of the fact that the two "jerks" he had been fighting with _happened_ to be his target's associates. Having them see his face clearly enough to remember it was a mistake beyond all comparison.

Yohji shortly left the club grounds after that, irritation and ignominy floating inside his brain leading only to careless driving, which lead to the flat tire and the need to fix it in the piss poor weather.

Needless to say, when the tired and ashamed assassin finally stumbled inside the depths of the koneko, he found instant comfort in the simple fact that it was warm, dark and rather empty. No teammates to mock him about his failures because there were no other teammates informed that he had even been ON a mission in the first place. One had to be grateful for even the small perks of life in this business.

With shoes off, coat tossed over a kitchen chair and a few painful stumbles in the right direction, Yohji was at the base of the stairs looking up. At Aya. Oh, of all the luck..

"Where were you?" Was that concern or merely irritation in his lovely leader's voice?

"Out." And he'd be damned if he gave any more details than that. Aya just didn't need to even _know_ how much of a failure he was tonight.

"Che. How like you." That stung. My my, Aya was so damn good at assuming the worse from Yohji. Well, at least the blond couldn't disappoint someone who already expected so low of him. Strangely, that was kind of a comforting thought.

"Save it, Aya. I'm really not in the mood."

Aya was glaring at him as he climbed the stairs and by the stance the other held, he didn't look like he was ready to back down just yet. Perfect. Aya sure did know how to make even the worst of nights seem more below par than they already were.

"Ran." The redhead blurted automatically before continuing. "You look like shit, did your date decide you weren't worth while and kick you out in the rain?"

He really, _really_, did not need to be hearing this. Not tonight. "What he hell crawled up your ass tonight, Ran? I just got home and I feel as shitty as I (apparently) look, so don't patronize me... please." Whoa, since when did he plea with Aya? Oh yeah... since he finally came to terms with his stupid emotions. They really _were_ stupid, you know, for only the masochistic and the senseless would fall in love with cranky anal-retentive redheads.

"Maybe I wouldn't patronize you if you'd stop coming home at absurd hours of the morning after catting around all night with those _barely_ legal cheap dates you pick up all the time." Ran was pissed but there didn't seem to be a reason behind that anger. It simply made no sense to Yohji who had to pause mid-way up the stairs and gawk at a man who rarely spoke more than two words to him unless forced to.

It wasn't fair. Of all the nights... why did he decide to really tear him a new one tonight? The Gods must be laughing their asses off by now, well fuck them too.

"Back. Off." There was a slow rising anger inside Yohji that would have normally been pushed aside if this hadn't been the very last straw. He was cold, wet, tired and feeling a little more than defeated because of his cataclysmic slip up. Aya didn't need to be the cherry on his ice cream sundae of a horrific day.

"No. I'm sick of getting woken up because of your careless brazen ways. If you're so intent on giving yourself to every other passer-by, Yohji, why don't you just pick some other dump to live? Some place where you wont be bothering anyone else." So that was it huh? Ran thought he was out doing what he always said he was doing? Oh, if only he _knew_.

"BACK OFF _RAN_! I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit. Since when did you become dictator of my fucking life? What I do in my free time is none of your gawd damn business and I would appreciate you backing off my case and leaving me alone!" Yohji hated arguing with Aya, it never sat right with him.

"How can I stay out of your business when you're constantly throwing it in all of our faces? Maybe if you had a little more class then that of a worthless street walking tramp, I wouldn't HAVE to say anything!"

Balinese honestly considering storming up the rest of the stairs and knocking Aya flat on his back just to wipe that smug little expression off his face. What was _with_ Aya tonight? This wasn't like him.. even when pissed off, Aya didn't use stuff like that against you. He didn't find the most insulting things about you and rub them in your face just to be malicious.

With those linger thoughts of doubt, Yohji dug his finger nails into his palms and slowly turned to walk back down the stairs. He needed to go for a drive - he needed to get out of the house or he was going to kill their resident ice princess.

"Why are you like this?" The question was faint but still there- prickling at Yohji's back and causing him to hesitate in his movements.

"Like what?" He didn't bother to turn back around.

"Why are you such a whore?" The words stung when he finally said it directly instead of beating around the bush.

"Because, _Aya_," the blond hissed through clenched teeth, "it gives me something to go on and for a moment, for just _one_ single moment, I mean _something_ to _someone_. To one person, for a short amount of time, I'm not the worthless killing whore you make me out to be." He moved further down the stairs and reached the main floor before he heard Ran talk again.

"Where are you going?"

"Why do you _care_?"

And before the leader could answer, the older assassin vanished out of site. In no time he grabbed his coat, keys, and shoes then headed out the door. If Aya had said anything else to him, he hadn't heard it purely because he simply wasn't listening.

The weather was still ghastly, as it was expected to be, but seven was still warm. After fussing with the door for a minute, Balinese managed to get inside and sit there, stewing in his own rage before turning the key in the ignition.

Aya may have been an ass for everything he said and did but _he_ was an idiot for falling in love with the ass.

He really needed a cigarette.

* * *

TBC

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Thank You! 

**Sywren** - _Because you rock, thanks!_

**Morkael** - _No worries, I have every intention of finishing this story, I'm just not entirely sure how long it's going to take._

**Tygrrlyli** - _Rock! I'll be sure to write more as soon as I get the time so that my Kami-chan and I can come and visit… it? What gender is it anyway? And what about names? Holy crap, there's WORK to be done about this._

**Harmony Glory** - _I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying this so far and thank you for sticking with me and being so generous as to review my stuff. It's appreciated greatly!_

**Forsaken** - _As far as I was concerned, there weren't nearly enough Yohji-centered fics out there. Everyone is so intent on Ran that I think Yohji gets left out a lot which is a shame because he's really a fascinating character to play around with. Schu is a wicked wicked man and Aya is… well… a moron in some ways but things will work out eventually. Thanks for good luck wish and on the same note, good luck with writing more on Circle of Time. I've grown rather attached to that fic and would certainly like to see more of it._


	5. Crashing Into Unexpected Events

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 4: Crashing Into Unexpected Events.

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing and mildly dark themes. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: Umm none I guess?

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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If there was one thing about driving that Yohji knew better than anyone else, it was that you should never drive on the highways late at night when you're pissed off and depressed as hell. More so when you finally come to terms with the fact that you're in love with a guy and he hates you. It wasn't just the Gods who were laughing at him; it was the whole fucking universe. Sometimes he honestly wondered why he kept on bothering to live a life that was quickly growing pointless. What exactly was he living for anyway?

The car started to diverge off to the side and Yohji quickly jerked it back into place. To his right lay a rather portentous looking cliff with nothing more than a guardrail between him and it. To his left, the rock face of the bottom of a different cliff. Yeah, perhaps taking a drive in this direction hadn't been one of his more brilliant plans. Damn that Fujimiya for being such a... such a...

"Asshole!" the blond hissed, hitting his steering wheel in frustrated anger. Why did Aya always have to play a cold-hearted locked-away and completely untouchable blockhead? Why couldn't he be more like... his sister?

Now _there_ was a bizarre thought from left field.

Yohji could honestly say he adored Aya-chan in every way a man could adore a little sister. She was sweet, patient, cute and mischievous as the devil. No joke. If it weren't for similar facial expressions and idiosyncrasies, Yohji would have never guessed that Ran and Aya-chan were even related, let alone brother and sister. They were just so... different. Thinking of the two often made the ex-detective reminisce of what it would be like to meet Aya, or rather Ran, before all hell broke loose on his life. It was entirely possible that he was just like Aya-chan. How cute would THAT be?

With a softer smile, Yohji eased up the death grip he had been reigning over his steering wheel with. Poor Seven didn't deserve the abuse he was giving it. Only Aya could ever drive the older man to out right abuse his precious car. What a jerk.

Speaking of jerks, it wasn't until the moment that he started loosening up that Yohji noticed someone tailgating him. Who in their right mind would do such a thing on a road like this in the rain! Were they mad?

When the car sped up, forcing him to speed up, he assumed so. It was like... they were trying to hit him. Or get him to crash. Oh... shit. It dawned on Yohji by the time the car whipped into the other lane and gradually collected more speed that it was entirely possible the nutcase was actually out for his head. Seven, even with the temp soft-top on, was a very distinctive car. If some survivor from a mission had seen it, they would know it anywhere and probably make no hesitation to crash it if they ever saw it anywhere else again.

What a pisser.

The other vehicle, which was determined white-ish even through the mud and rain, only had to lightly tap him to get him to spin out. The white car veered then immediately slowed without slamming on its breaks to, suspiciously, avoiding leaving skid marks. Not that Yohji was paying attention to it; he was merely trying to correct the spin so that he didn't go flying off the side of the cliff to certain, and rather lame, death. It was times like these that he hated the fact his car was light and aerodynamic.

Seven collided with a solid object that unfortunately happened to be the guardrail on the cliff side. He was going to die. He knew it the minute he felt the crunching of his car and the giving metal of the guardrail. Someone needed to go to hell for not making sure that things like his failing metal safety net were not better maintained.

He really didn't want to die like this. Hell, he really didn't want to die because there so many things he was leaving unfinished. The half wrapped and (very) belated birthday present for Ken was still in his closet, the study notes he promised to help Omi make were still sitting partially finished on his desk and the words of love for Aya remained lingering in the space just between his brain and his lips. Funny, come to think of it, Yohji's life was filled with nothing more than half-finished projects and unspoken words. He really _had_ intended to do _something _about that someday, but now...

The impact was so hard it forced Balinese to jolt forward and connect forehead to steering wheel. The world quickly dimmed and just before it faded entirely, Yohji found himself sincerely wishing he had agreed to let Omi install air bags inside of Seven. Oi, what a lame last thought.

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Ran hadn't expected the roads to be as slippery as they were so he hadn't exactly expected Seven to spin out and crash as hard as it did. He was lucky, though. Instead of plunging straight down the cliff, Yohji's car was caught in a delicate balance of wanting to fall and wanting to stay. If Ran didn't hurry, however, he wasn't going to get much of a say in whether his teammate lived before the car made up its mind on which direction it wanted to go. 

And so, with much haste, the redhead fled his own automobile and scrambled his way over the steaming bits of debris and into the crumbled mess of metal where Yohji lay unconscious. The man's forehead was bleeding from where he obviously hit the steering wheel but other than that, he miraculously appeared unharmed. Fujimiya was unbelievably fucking lucky and he knew it. There were so many things that could have gone very _very_ wrong with the stunt he had pulled but he was desperate and out of options. Besides, it wasn't like Schuldig clarified if he wanted Yohji dead or alive anyway.

The door was jammed but with a little, or rather a lot, of "convincing" it decided to give and open for the redhead. Again, seven rocked a little and forced Ran to realize time and caution were of the essence.

Reaching inside, Abyssinian unbuckled the seat belt and proceeded to drag his older companion out of wreck with much more difficulty than he was pleased about. The rain seem to pour down even harder as the "leader" dragged Yohji away from Seven in a fireman's carry before the sorry excuse for a vehicle became too heavy for the soft dirt and twisted metal holding it up.

With all the grace of a dying seagull, the car spiraled its way down the rather significant drop before exploding upon contact with the jagged rocks and ocean bellow. The once magnificent racing vehicle was quickly turned into nothing more than a heap of melting objects in an inferno that would surely destroy everything.

Honestly, that part of the plan went _much_ better than expected and if it weren't so unforgivably sick, Ran would have patted himself on the back for job well done. Pushing an unconscious Yohji into the Porsche, however, was turning into a feat much more difficult than previously considered. Lucky for the blond, about the time Ran's frustrations got the better of him was about the time he had managed to get his unconscious teammate settled and prepared for departure.

After inspecting the damage done to his own car, which was little more than a scratch from the light impact, Ran sunk into the driver seat of his car and finally noticed the time. It was only three thirty in the morning and Yohji wasn't to be swapped until nine in the evening. Well crap. What to do with him now?

Thoughts pushed themselves around when Ran took off the emergency break slowly. What to do? Shifting gears, the man pulled away from the scene of the crime and drove straight for his sister's apartment. Dragging Yohji back to any Kritker ordained spot or even a hotel room was out of the question so Aya-chan's apartment was the only option left to the desperate brother.

Once he got there he could check over his teammate to see if he had done any serious damage. Even if Ran hated Yohji, he wasn't about to let the other die from a direct act of his. God forbid the lanky blond actually DIE from the bump to the head he caused. The redhead might actually have to feel guilty about it...

Guilty...

The word tingled down his spine and an uneasy sensation set in. Why was his stomach tied in knots so suddenly? He couldn't possibly be feeling remorse over this, could he? No... no, that was impossible. Yohji meant nothing to him and you couldn't regret anything that you did towards something that meant nothing to you.

Right?

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TBC

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**Sywren** - _As always, thank you for being my editor. You're truly a blessing._

**Weisslover27** - _Oh don't wont be a need worry, there to beg lol. I'll keep working on it._

**Tygrrlyli** - _Oo I can have it? I don't know how to raise kids and I don't think my fiancée will approve either. Damn. Well, I'll talk to her and we'll see what I can do lol, but in the mean time, I'll keep writing._

**Forsaken** - _Trust me, Aya only gets worse before he gets better (though he DOES get better). Ah muses are such frustrating creatures at times ;;; I wish I had some lol_

**Trinity Bennett** - _I'm really happy you like this, hopefully the next few chapters will come out faster. ;_

**Harmony Glory** - _Yes, I often get the urge to kick his ass too ;; and thanks again for sticking with me._


	6. Finalizing a Barter

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 5: Finalizing a Barter

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: For some reason this part was hard for me to write, not sure why though.

'_bla bla'_ thoughts

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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Getting Yohji from the garage to the apartment seemed like less of a hassle than it was to actually maneuver him about said apartment. The blond was by no means heavy but after several trying minutes of carrying a large dead weight through difficult areas, even the lightest of objects would begin to feel weighty. So, with a lot of effort and "skillfully thought out tactics", Ran was relieved to be able to drop his burden onto the couch in the living room.

After a minute of looking upon his teammate, the redhead decided it was more than "kind of creepy" the way Yohji looked like a broken doll long since abandoned by its owner. He seemed so very... helpless and lost. He appeared to resemble nothing of the brazen young man Ran spent hours arguing with and complaining over when things had gone wrong. In fact, as he lay on the couch like some mistreated rag muffin, Ran couldn't help but feel a spike of worry stab right through him.

Was he really going to just hand Balinese over to the enemy?

Yes, he didn't have a choice least his sister come into direct contact with a very serious and very real harm.

Ran's stomach knotted up further and he felt an illness begin to suffocate his mind and body. Worry, doubts, hate, fear, and possibly guilt boiled just under the pale complexion of the Weiss "leader" as he reached out to brush aside wet strands of dark blond hair. Leaning down to inspect the damage the crash had done to the other's head, Ran realized something very odd about his teammate. Yohji was beautiful.

Sure, in the past the redhead had made note that his fellow assassin was attractive and all that fuss but he had never taken the time to really observe him. Especially not at such a close range as the one he was in, in that moment. Funny the things you notice at the wrong time.

"Nggairbags."

Abyssinian jumped back away from the rousing man like a person being snapped at by a venomous snake. So it seemed that he wasn't dead after all but having him regain consciousness so soon didn't bode well for Ran. Without delaying it any further, the younger man set to work on collecting various objects which were stored in Aya's apartment. Things like, rope, duct-tape, a "beauty sleeping mask" and various other random items which could prove to be useful. Once collected, all the bits and pieces were placed neatly in a pile next to the couch before the redhead set in on the task that needed to be accomplished.

Hands and feet were bound by duct tape, a sweet little sleeping mask was placed over the eyes before held in place by torn pieces of cloth from a towel which served for a make-shift blind fold perfectly. The rope was used to bind the arms and legs then hold the body at a strange arch so that escape was... entirely unlikely. Last but not least, a gage made from the remaining pieces of torn cloth was put into place so that any noise the older assassin made would be absorbed successfully.

Standing back to observe his work, Ran felt sick. Again. This whole damn situation was making him violently ill and there was nothing he could do about it. So he walked away for a minute and came back with a blanket to which he draped over his teammate in an almost affection manor. Ran felt like a monster.

'_I have to do this for Aya-chan..._' The words played like a broken record over and over inside the mind of a man who was at a loss to do anything else.

'_I have to do this for Aya-chan._'

Unable to stay in the apartment for very long due to the growing feeling of something that suspiciously resembled self-loathing, Ran fled back to the Koneko. Luck still seemed to be on his side for there were no signs of any awake people inside the Weiss hostel when he reached it. Of course, that was probably because it was five in the morning on a Saturday but that was besides the point, it was luck all the same.

The floor boards creaked softly under foot and went unnoticed by the person making the noise. Bile was rising in the back of Ran's throat and he had to do something about it. Cold water on the face might have helped but so would a couple of sleeping pills... or a whole lot of sleeping pills for that matter. No... not yet. Aya-chan was still in trouble, he couldn't start thinking about THAT just yet.

After a few seconds spent in the bathroom, Ran made his way to his empty room where he proceeded to crash for the next several hours. Normally they would all be working but today was a holiday and so the shop would be closed like it would on any Sunday. Again with the luck... or maybe it wasn't luck, after all. Schuldig WAS the one to pick THIS day to trade Yohji so maybe...

Enough. He had to stop thinking about it if he planned on getting any sleep. Sleep was essential for dealing with hostage negotiations and so, a few short minutes later, Ran had convinced himself into a weary and rather restless sleep.

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6:00pm 

The red symbols burned into his eyes the minute he opened them and glanced at his clock. No. Way. Sitting straight up, the assassin glanced towards his window and confirmed what he didn't think was real. Somehow he had managed to sleep close to thirteen hours. He had done this before but only when he was sick or injured. Sleeping for more than eight hours was extremely rare for him, especially when he had something important to do that day.

Maybe it was because he hadn't been sleeping well lately or maybe it was because he kept waking up and going back to sleep. Whatever the case may be, Ran had slept much longer than he expected to and in the end, had to rush to get ready and out of the Koneko so he wouldn't be late for his little meeting with Schuldig. The urge to vomit rushed up again into the back of his throat, causing him to pause and take a deep breath. His stomach was doing flips while his hands began to shake from the thought of what was about to come to pass. He couldn't do this. He had to do this. There wasn't another way... was there?

Clothes on, coat on, keys in hand... there. He was almost ready to go. So why was he hesitating? Ivory hands were shaking even harder when Abyssinian reached for the doorknob to leave his bedroom. He HAD to do this. The door opened with ease and the assassin slipped out quietly. He could hear rustling in the kitchen and the tv going on downstairs which meant Omi and Ken were both home. Damn.

"Aya-kun!" The predictable surprised response slapped him the minute he descended the stairs and, of course, he did not respond. If he acted any different than he normally did, someone was going to suspect that something was up. He just couldn't have that on his hands right now.

"Whoa, we didn't think you were home." Ken was attempting to explain Omi's surprise before Omi had the chance, how typical of those two. Ken and Omi... they worked well together. The pairing complimented each other in some strange way that Ran couldn't grasp just yet.

"I didn't feel well so I stayed in my room most of the day." Well, at least _that_ wasn't a lie.

"Did... you want something to eat? Do you need some medicine?"

Ran shook his head and continued on his way towards the door. He was in a hurry and he didn't have time for idol chit-chat about his health. There were more important things at hand, like Aya-chan's safety and Yohji's... demise? The nausea was back and slowly the redhead touched his forehead as if it would bring him some kind of relief to do so.

"No," the words finally came forth, "I'm just going to go check up on Aya-chan. She hasn't been feeling well either." Okay... that was only _half_ of a lie.

"Oh!" Omi was looking at Ken as if Ken knew something he didn't. When Ken shrugged and Omi looked back, Ran had already pulled on his shoes. "I don't suppose you want me to make any soup for her and you, do you?"

"No." Communicating with Ran was always a trying matter.

"Ano..." Omi raised a little, straightening his posture once Ran reached the door, "Since you were home all day... did you hear Yohji come home or leave at all? We haven't seen him all day either..."

The swordsman paused, "No, I haven't." At last, full lie. Ran hated lying. The door was opened and closed again before Omi could ask any more intruding questions. Ran couldn't afford talking to the chibi any more than he could afford to waste time.

The redhead glared out at the dying sun as if it were mocking him with its symbolic nature. Sunrises were nicer than sunsets anyway. The man reached his Porsche in silence only to pause and gaze at the marks across the bumper that he hadn't noticed before in the rain. What a horrible mark of a reminder - he'd have to get that fixed immediately. Once inside, the car started with no troubles and silently the owner pulled out onto the main street and began his track towards Aya-chan's apartment.

At 7:02, Ran arrived at his destination. Aya-chan's residency was only supposed to be less than a half an hour away but there was an element to the problem Ran had not calculated in before leaving the Koneko. Traffic. The end of the day rush hour caused a back up through the main road the older brother took to get to his sister's place. Why did this sort of thing always happen to him?

The assassin threw the car door open and slammed it in frustration before running into the apartment building and heading straight for the stairs. The strangest sense of deja vu washed over him by the time he reached the seventh floor and with that nostalgia sinking in, fear uncoiled itself inside the pit of his stomach. Schuldig said seven sharp... but Yohji was already there... what if...

The door to Aya-chan's apartment burst upon under the pressure Ran applied and he found himself practically flying inside like a bat out of hell. The couch was empty and the fear inside his stomach leaked into the rest of his system to intoxicate his mind. No... would Schuldig really have just taken Yohji without finishing the deal? Maybe Yohji woke up and found a way out? Maybe...?

Aya-chan's bedroom light was on. With surprisingly little effort, the distance between the front door and Aya-chan's bedroom door was crossed in less time than it took to inhale one breath. Then again, maybe that was just because Ran hadn't remembered to breath until the doorknob of the bedroom door was turning in his quivering hand. Nervous much?

Chaos rocked the leader's mind when he finally opened the door to discover Aya-chan in her bed, sleeping soundly like nothing had ever happened and for a brief insanity filled moment, Ran was ready to believe that maybe nothing really had. That maybe these last few days were the result of one really long and terrible nightmare. Sadly, however, the illusion was shattered the moment lavender eyes fell upon the German sitting peacefully in the window.

"When I say "Seven sharp", I mean it." Ran was really beginning to hate the sound of that nasal voice.

"What have you-"

"-Done to her?" The telepath turned to actually look at the redhead instead of pretending he was more interested in what was happening outside the window. "Nothing for the most part. She'll just wake up believing she's been sick for several days and nothing more."

Ran glared. He hated- no, _loathed_ the idea of the darker assassin tampering with the mind of his little innocent sister. The notion of it was nearly violating if it weren't so... necessary.

"Glad you think so too. I couldn't have her running to the authorities with tales of kidnap and woe." He paused and adjusted his seating position a little, like he was growing uncomfortable with the raging glares of death being sent in his direction. "And before you get too uppity with me, I haven't laid a finger on her other than to do the essential. Taking her away, faking her memories and bringing her back."

Why was he confirming this?

"Where is-"

"Yohji?"

Ran clenched his jaw and made up his mind to never speak to another telepath again. If not for their ability to invade his privacy, for the fact that they are down right annoying when they finished his sentences for him. Schuldig smirked. Ran hated him even more.

"He's none of your concern now so go about doing whatever it is you do without him." Schwartz perched himself in the window now, the smirk still present and he leaned out it, "A pleasure doing business with you, Abyssinian." And then he was gone again.

Relief and contempt for many things flooded the other's system as he stood in a half state of shock, staring at the window and then at his sister. She stirred and mumbled something unintelligible, leaving Ran to relax and tense at the same time. She was safe again so the world should be ok...

... and yet, something was off.

Yohji.

Yohji was gone.

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TBC 

**Sywren** - _hugs for you!_

**Rosemary** - _The story probably feels like it's going slow because I don't want to rush the chapters or the events which take place in them. I only get inspired to write until the chapter "feels" done, then I stop and go one with another. As for the set order of the scenes.. hmm.. I don't really know what to say to that, sorry. ;_

**Harmony** - _lol hai hai... I can't make it easy on anyone _

**Forsaken** - _Hmmm you know, it's always darkest before the break of dawn. And yes, Schu will have more scenes as the story progresses _

**Dita chan** - _Yeah, I sometimes feel like a little Aya-bashing every now and then too._

**AolaniDathomir** - _Lol in all seriousness, Seven should probably the least of Yohji's concerns right now. (And) You know, Aya is really more vicious than I intended him to be but that rotten personality with working out nicely for this story and me. If you're am Aya fan at all (like I am) then keep in mind what I told Forsaken, he'll get better but not before he gets worse._

**Weisslover27** - _Sorry the chapters are so short ; some will be longer in the future and some will be shorter. I guess it all depends on how much of the story I need to tell in each section. pats_


	7. A Victorious Defeat

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 6: A Victorious Defeat.

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I down own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: The difference in the number of reviews from MM to FFis phenomenal. O.o; And just for those of you who were wondering, yes, this story IS posted in both places. My sn is the same for as it is for Media Miner (dot) org as it is for Fan Fiction (dot) net

Also… something about this chapter just didn't click well with me so if it sucks… I'm _way_ sorry T.T

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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It was all a dream.

Or at least that was the first thought that graced Yohji's mind when he opened his eyes to find himself enveloped in warm blankets that were not his own. He was comfortable, safe and at ease until the minute he sat up because that's when reality slapped him like the pain threatening to split his head wide open. Unless he had gotten into a bar fight the other night and ended up at some random place, then what he remembered about the car accident really _did_ happen. Now, the problem with the car wreck incident was that it didn't exactly explain WHAT he was doing in such a nice and foreign room instead of a hospital

Reaching up to touch a particularly sensitive area on his head, Yohji could feel the material bandage wraps were made of. Someone patched him up, but who? The person who wrecked him perhaps? The thought alone sent an icy shiver poisoned with fear straight down his spine. Someone had purposely wrecked him then abducted him and patched him up. Why? Did they want to torture him? Pull information from him? No no... none of that made any sense, they wouldn't have given him this nice of a set up if they wanted to do any of that. So maybe the person who saved him and helped him wasn't the same person who wrecked him.

But if that were true then that lead him straight back to his initial observation. Why was he _here_ and not in a hospital?

Time had been passed and lost to the oldest member of Weiss without his knowledge, something he was going to learn to mourn later when he had the chance. For now he conceded to glancing around the room and seeing if he could gather more information. Sadly, there was very little to find. The room was, for all intents and purposes, very ordinary- straight down to the flavorless blankets and pillows which matched an equally flavorless carpet. Either the person who lived here was dreadfully dull or this was a guestroom of sorts. For the owner's sake, Yohji hopped it was the latter.

The room had no windows. Strange, but not uncommon, just depressing. How could someone like living in a place with no window to the outside world? No bookcase to suggest personality of any type and nothing on the desk against the opposite facing wall to suggest the room actually sustained any working person's existence. Ironically, something about the room reminded him of Aya's room.

A few more minutes passed and by the time the bleakness of the living quarters had pushed Yohji into motion, the bedroom door finally opened. Caught between getting off the bed and fully rising to his feet, green eyes lifted to meet a second pair of slightly darker ones.

"You're right you know, it IS a guest room." The person standing in the door spoke and as if their words were a physical force, Yohji feel back onto the bed with a huff.

The karmic humor of the situation was painfully cruel. Balinese slumped and resolved that if he lived to see Manx again, he was going to inform her of his decision to never accept solo missions again.

"Can I go home now?"

"What are you talking about?" Schuldig slowly answered with a lifted eyebrow and the hint of a smile, "You _are_ home."

And if Yohji thought the universe had been sniggering before, there was no doubt in his mind that it was in a hysterical fit of laughter now.

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It was Wednesday when Aya-chan had been kidnapped, Friday when Ran confirmed his plan to betray his teammate, Saturday when Yohji was exchanged, Sunday when the blonde's wrecked car was found and Monday when Kritker pronounced the assassin as "assumed dead" due to a fatal accident. 

The reactions to the news were strange to wittiness when you felt out of place, kind of like watching a movie on someone else's life. It didn't feel real, though _that_ feeling may have been contributed by the fact that Ran knew it _wasn't_ real. Or at least he assumed it wasn't because in truth, the redhead didn't honestly know if Yohji was really alive or dead by the time Monday had rolled around and it was doubtful that he would find out any time soon. So for now, he simply sat back and observed with a blank expression and a lack of feeling.

Omi had seemed to be the most affected, if outward reactions were any way to gage the rate at which one was being affected or not. The boy simply crumpled like a lifeless rag doll into the arms of Ken with silent tears and slightly less silent sobs. Ken followed close in second in the list of affected people by the way his face was twisted into a sick play of horror, shock and heart break while his body froze up from any sign of animation.

However, these reactions were expected. Omi and Ken had known and befriended Yohji long before Ran even entered the picture. The three of them had been a team and a family unit when Ran stumbled into their lives, disrupting everything that had once been. It was Manx, on the other hand, that the unexpected factored in.

The woman was a mess. Her eyes were red, her face lacked make-up, her hair was less than perfect and her dress looked like it had been slept in by the slightly rumbled appearance it gave. She was actually shaken up by the loss of Balinese and this surprised Ran. From all their interactions he ever witnessed, the redhead had been sure Manx thought little more of the assassin than a lazy but useful pawn. Apparently he had been mistaken.

Not to anyone's surprise, Ran was slowly finding out that he was mistaken rather often. Not a good sign.

"No missions will be assigned for an undetermined amount of time, " Manx spoke with an uncharacteristically shaky voice, "And I'll come by to give you more details about Yohji's... passing...tomorrow." It was unclear if either Omi or Ken had heard her but Ran nodded for them, signaling that at least HE had digested the information and taken note of it.

Without anything else to share and perhaps to spare herself the embarrassment of a public breakdown, Manx left. Ken and Omi were so wrapped up in their own mourning with each other that neither of them had really noticed her absence and probably only faintly took interest in Ran's departure. Not that he cared, it would have only seemed abhorrently wrong if he had stayed long enough to receive their attempts of comforting him for a loss he did not feel.

Or did not mostly feel.

In spite of himself, Ran was slowly beginning to feel traces of guilt, doubt and loss. It was the last of these three, however, that confused him the most and caused the "leader" to lock himself away in his room with a book that did little to actually distract him.

He was supposed to come out of this whole situation feeling like winner for ridding himself of an annoyance and winning back his beloved sister, yet there he sat suddenly feeling like a loser for a reason he could not fathom.

* * *

"So you were the one who caused me to crash." 

It was needless to say that waking up to find out you were being held captive by your number one enemy for reasons unknown to you, came to Yohji as something of a shock.

"Hardly." Schuldig rolled his eyes at the sudden accusation. Leave it to Weiss to always throw out accusations of being guilty towards any member of Schwartz. Of course… it wasn't exactly like they _didn't_ deserve it half the time but still, it was rude to immediately point fingers.

"What do you mean?"

The German arched an eyebrow, had he said 'Hardly' in German or did the blond just not get it?

"I mean no, I wasn't the person who made you crash your car. Admittedly, I wasn't even the person who wrapped your head wound but I AM the person in charge of you now so I'd advise you to kill the attitude." He was referring to the continuos glare being thrown in his direction. Poor kitten obviously spent way too much time in the presence of that Abyssinian bastard. No matter, Schuldig was going to fix all that now.

"So then... why are you holding me here?"

"You mean, why am I letting you live instead of shooting you in the head right now?"

The telepath only got a nod for a response. Apparently his new playmate was a little too nervous to speak, how cute.

"Because I'm bored." And he followed the statement with a smirk that the devil could envy. A smirk that only grew with the gawking expression Balinese suddenly gave him.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, not really." Schuldig shifted from his position in front of the door, moving slowly towards a chair set discretely inside the small and rather bland room.

"I don't believe you." My my, So defensive. Even Yohji's body language screamed his ill-ease with the situation, not that Schuldig could blame him or anything. If he were amongst known powerful enemies and they said to him what he just said to Yohji... well, he'd probably be doing and saying the same damn thing. Only he'd be snider about it for lack of a real sense of self-preservation.

"Fine." The German tossed one hand in the air as he relaxed into the chair, making it appear FAR more comfortable than it really was, "Take it or leave it, you're free to believe what you'd like."

And then there was silence. An uncomfortable one at that was filled with little more than Yohji watching Schuldig and Schuldig watching Yohji watching him. What did one say to someone they didn't know, didn't like and didn't trust and how did that person respond? The need to question was there but the questions themselves were not.

"Take it easy, you're going to break something if you keep thinking so hard."

Yohji's eyes narrowed, "Don't read my fucking mind."

Schuldig snorted and shifted in his chair, "You don't have to be a mind reader to tell that someone's thinking hard, dumb ass. It's written all over your face, but just so you know..."

/If I wanted to read your mind, there is little you can say or do to stop me./

In spite of the many strange things he had seen in his life, watching the white assassin fly out of the bed and across the room in the blink of an eye was one of the more impressive ones. It was such an impulsive move that Schuldig wasn't even give the time to rise before Yohji had opened the door and made preparations to leave the room as quickly as he possibly could.

He might have even made it a few steps into the hallway before Schu caught him if it weren't for the fact that the there was someone standing in the door way stopping him.

A very angry someone. A very angry American someone with their irritated gaze directed at the redhead and not the blond before them. Damn, it was lecture time.

"Going somewhere?" Crawford blinked, his tone unenthused as he returned his gaze to the captive in the room.

"Fuck off." Under closer observation, perhaps Balinese really DID have a death wish.

A fist connected with Yohji's stomach before he was given the opportunity to strike out first. Fighting Brad was never any fun in Schuldig's experience because the American always "cheated". Not that Schuldig wouldn't cheat too if he were ever given the opportunity, but he wasn't and therefore was at a constant disadvantage when it came to the Precog. With an "unreadable" mind, an icy disposition and a constant "stick up the ass" attitude, Brad was a certified bastard who always got his way.

Yohji crumbled to the ground gasping for air as an example of this while Schuldig quickly rose to his feet and stepped towards the door.

"You didn't have to do that." The redhead frowned, looking down at his fallen pet.

"Yes, I did. I want you in my office. Now."

"How forward of you Bradly." The faked sweet tone only won Schuldig a warning look before the ever socially inept American stormed off in broody silence to his office.

"Ah, Katzchen," Schuldig bent down to rub Yohji's back, "I should have warned you about Brad. He's a bit of a bastard and rather cranky that you're here..." the man's hand was slapped away by the same person who was looking up at him with a glare.

"Gott, I don't win around here with anyone, do I Farf?" Laughter played out upon Schu's face as he rose slowly to his feet and acknowledged the person who had decided to take up residence in the open doorway.

"Crawford's really pissed at you."

"I know. Do me a favor and watch our guest so that he doesn't get the suicidal notion to flee again." Dark green eyes glanced at Balinese for a brief moment before returning to the Irishman, "And unless he tries to leave, you're not to touch him. Understood?"

"Yes."

Yohji had never been so sure that a "yes" meant "no" before in his life.

"Good, now play nice until I get back." The German grinned, stepping past his teammate and disappearing behind him into the slightly foreboding hallway. A soft creak announced the bedroom door being closed and Yohji was left in the company of a man who was beyond clinically insane.

"You're going to die soon." Beyond clinically insane AND apparently psychic. What next? A flying monkey?

"What?" The blond rose to his feet and cautiously moved back to the bed that had once held warmth and a strange sense of comfort.

"Crawford doesn't want you here. It's only a matter of time before he says you have to go."

Yohji blinked, "How comforting."

"It wasn't meant to be comforting."

"I gathered as much."

Farfarello crossed his arms and used his one good eye to stare down the other assassin. How the hell did this all happen anyway? A few weeks ago he was plotting his admission of love with the sister of the man he had fallen for, and now… he was sitting on some strange bed in the midst of his greatest enemies while having a staring contest with a mad man who seemed _more_ than intent on causing him serious harm.

He had no luck.

* * *

TBC 

**Forsaken** - _You might be surprised at how Yotan will react. As for Schu... yeah, his mind is a lot of fun to play in X)_

**Harmony** - _Lol yay for real angst! It'll just get thicker from here on out for a while lol_

**Dimonyo-anghel** - _Yeah, I feel bad for Schu too but.. eh. Not much to be done… ;_

**Jukeboxcsi** - _forgiveness is a strange and delicate thing. Even -I- don't often understand the reasons behind why some people forgive some things and not others. Oi, humanity._

**Morkael** - _Wow! Thank you for reviewing each chapter O.O! And yeah... I sometimes wonder how Aya-chan would react as well because she's such a wonderful character to get into if she is written properly. You'll see more of her reaction to everything in Chapter 8 (which happens to be one of my favorite chapters)!_

**darkfedora** : _-hearts:)_


	8. The Guilty Subconscious Mind

**To De****stroy the One You Love**

Chapter 7: The Guilty Subconscious Mind

Pairing: Yohji/Aya; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: Erm… this chapter was a bit sketchy for me to write and I'm not very fond of it but… oh well I guess.

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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Time had passed in a way that seemed indiscernible to the redhead. It was like months had gone by in a blur and he couldn't exactly remember anything that had happened in the spaces in between. Maybe because nothing had happened or maybe because those days were so clogged and blurred with confusing emotions that he couldn't pick out one event from another. Interestingly enough, _nothing_ seemed clear to the assassin at this point other than the fact that he was walking down the middle of an empty road barefoot and in his pajamas.

The streets were empty, the parks were empty and everything else felt and seemed... empty. Abandoned. The whole city was abandoned and he was the only person left to face it, or at least that's the way it seemed so late at night. Upon closer inspection, however, not even a stray dog or cat breathed a sound in the dark... it was all too quiet, like the silence that took place before a storm.

And then, something moved. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a shadow shift and move down a parallel street just ahead. Whatever it was, it had moved suspiciously fast like it had been watching him and didn't want him to know. Danger was high inside the leader's brain and without much of a reason behind his actions, he gave chase to the shadow figure.

Coming round the bend, Ran barely caught sight of the target disappearing around another corner and into an alley. Who the hell moved that fast? He continued to rush after it like a cat would chase a mouse, yet something was off. He wasn't moving fast enough- his movements were slow and groggy like the air was made of syrup and it was slowing him down.

Anger and frustration at his inadequacy built up inside of the Weiss kitten to the point that he was about ready to scream when he finally managed to step foot inside the alley. The thing he'd been chasing was much faster than normal people and there _he_ was, trying to catch it while moving much **slower** than normal people. What the hell was going on anyway? Did someone slip drugs into his tea last night? Who would do such a thing? He was home all last night... wasn't he? Why was nothing clear…?

The alley, being lit by only moonlight, made the shadows seem darker because his eyes weren't adjusting like they should. The ground was sticky beneath his bare feet and he cringed at the feeling of the city's filth on his bare skin. The city was such a dirty place, why was he still living there? Why hadn't he taken the time to move yet? Was there really a reason for him to keep going on like he was?

When Ran's eyes adjusted a little, he spotted the shadowed shape at the far end of the alley, hunching over something. More determined than ever, the swordsman carefully jogged down the narrow pathway while clutching his katana in one hand. Where had THAT come from? The figure shifted again and Ran suspected it was one of those dark beasts he always hunted and killed on missions, he was sure of it and because he was sure of it, the beast had to die. No one would miss another corrupt creature being put to rest for a good cause anyway.

The alley must have been much lengthier than he had realized for it was taking him a lot longer to reach the other side and by the time he got there, the shadow was already in a defensive posture. It was ready to fight, proving Abyssinian's theory about the figure being just another criminal in the night.

With the Katana drawn, the white assassin rushed forward and slid the sharp piece of metal neatly through the target like a hot knife through butter. The push in and the pull out was sickeningly easy and strangely satisfying until the person fell to the ground and then into the light.

Yohji.

The paler man was filled with sudden horror. This whole time… he had been chasing Yohji. How the hell...? What? What was going on?

"Ran...?" Emerald eyes were staring up at him, wide with shock and something like sadness, "What have you done?" His voice wavered as he desperately held his wound, trying to stop the bleeding but failing miserably in the process.

What had he done, indeed. Ran was so aghast at his own actions that he couldn't even summon the energy to so much as move. He had just stabbed his teammate, the very teammate he had already betrayed. Why?

"I... I didn't know!" The younger finally managed, falling to his knees with shaking hands that were trying to figure out how to help the bleeding person before him. So much blood. So much blood _everywhere_, soaking the ground they were sitting in while staining Ran's pajama pants with its inky blackness. Blood was black in the dark.

"Yes you did!" Yohji screamed at him, tears falling from those large eyes like the accusation falling from those soft lips. Soft lips?

"I swear I didn't! Yohji, I-"

"You're a horrible person!" The blond continued, as if he hadn't heard anything Ran had just said, "You've killed me! This is all your fault!" The older man slumped towards the ground with eyes angrily staring at their murderer, "How could you?"

And with that he exhaled and died. No gasping for breath, no apologies or confessions... just allegations, questions then death. How... horrible.

"He loved you, you know." a voice from Ran's right broke in as its owner crawled out from the dark and into the light by Yohji's head.

Aya-chan.

What the hell was Aya-chan doing in an alley late at night? Had she run away and Yohji was looking for her? How did Yohji find Aya-chan? Why did Aya-chan run away? How... why... what?

"What are you talking about?"

Aya's sweet little face morphed into the angry face of teenage girl, showing nothing but contempt for her idiotic brother. "He loved you and you killed him. You didn't deserve his love... you don't deserve anything. You're a horrible person."

"Aya-chan!" He gasped but it was too late, she was rising to her feet and walking out of the alley, brushing by yet another figure who had suddenly appeared in front of him to stare at the crime he had committed. _What_ was going on!

"Tsk Tsk." The voice was slow and drawn out in amusement, "Everyone hates you now... isn't it about time you killed yourself?"

In retrospect, it was the face of Schuldig that caused Ran's eyes to snap open as he sat up in bed from the nightmare. God, it was just a nightmare. A fucking horrible nightmare that had forced the man's blood to run cold and his heart to slam against his ribcage while sweat dripped down from a vastly pale face. Eyebrows drew together and slowly, the assassin turned to his right to look at the clock sitting on his nightstand.

6:35 am. Friday Morning.

Fuck.

Today was Yohji's wake.

* * *

TBC

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**Sywren** - _My Hero!_

**Forsaken** - _Yohji indeed will be very hard to break. And as for what Schu is gonna do... well, while I'd just LOVE to tell you all the nasty little secrets, it would ruin the story lol! Stay tuned na? X) hearts_

**Harmony** - _Oh you'll see more of Crawford/Schu/Yohji/Farf interaction in the chapter 10._

**Mangachild420** - _No worries... he'll be figuring everything rather soon and damn will it suck to be him BUWAHAHA coughs _

**AolaniDathomir** - _OO wow. You hit the nail right on the head when it comes to Aya-chan. Stay tuned for chapter 8! As for Nagi... hmmm I thought about ways to include him more but I'm not sure how just yet. I guess I'll see what I can do. And no worries, as I stated earlier... Ran will be coming to terms with everything shortly. Lol_

**Weisslover27** - _Naaa, you rock for reading this story _

**Morkael** - _Mmm Schu with Balinese puts me in a sadistic mood too... that's how this whole fic got started after all X)! Aya angst coming right up. And as for Farf... hmmm... good question._

**Gonyos** - _Oooh his situation has only begun to seem bad X) tehehe poor poor yotan._


	9. Remembering Yohji

To Destroy the One You Love

Chapter 8: Remembering Yohji

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. Nix and I don't own them! I know _I'm_ broke and Nixy doesn't have much to spare either so unless you want the couple of pennies we have floating around our computers… don't sue? Please?

Author notes: **I DID NOT WRITE THIS CHAPTER**. _After a bit of bribing, Nix agreed to write this chapter for me. YAY! I'm so pleased because she's a wonderful author who (if you're an AxY fan) you should **defiantly** check out! Her SN is _**PinkWhirlWind **_or you can find her original works at _**www(dot)darkfedora(dot)com**

_Anyway, it took us a bit to conceive how the chapter should be done and in the end we decided that it should be written from Aya-chan's point of view. Now, I don't think either of us were terribly fond of using her p.o.v. at first but as soon as the chapter started, we were in love with her. So that's that._

Feedback: If you love this chapter, give most of the credit to **Nix**. I just helped plot the chapter and bugged her every step of the way until it was done. The rest of the magic is entirely hers.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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Remembering Yohji by **Nix Winter**

**Nix Notes**: This was written as a chapter to go with 'To Destroy the One You Love', by Raven-sama

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Fujimiya Aya could be very stubborn. This shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone.

"It is not necessary," Manx said firmly, arms crossed. The two of them faced each other down in the briefing room, only it was Aya on the stairs holding the high ground.

Aya's chin lifted, eyes narrowed. Yohji had meant the world. Yohji had opened the door to the world again and his laughter still lingered, his slow, languid stories, the way emerald eyes could just express the whole world by simply looking over sunglasses slid down a slightly curved nose, eyebrows drawing down.

The world seemed to array itself against Aya, and the only person who had seen Aya for Aya lay dead, unrecovered, rotting somewhere, and it was necessary. Ken stood in shadow on the far side of the room, shoulders hunched just slightly, refusing to look in Aya's direction. Omi was crying again, grieving, and there was Manx, arms across her chest, eyes red, determined to have her own way.

And Ran. Aya could not believe Ran. Yohji had once called her brother a 'frozen cherry' and she could understand it now, with many layers of meaning to that phrase, and she didn't care that her demand would step on their boundaries. Maybe they needed those boundaries stepped on. It was as if they'd been steeling themselves against this for so long, as if the florist industry was somehow _so_ dangerous that any of them could go at anytime, with plans already made and bouquets already picked out. She wouldn't have it.

"There will be a wake," she said firmly, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. They acted like they could just go on, like they should pretend that nothing had happened, as if those flowers they'd picked out had been sent and paid for years past and there was no need to do anything now. Yohji had only been some kind of ghost lingering on until he knew he was dead, for all the public display any of them were making. For all she knew they'd told the customers that he'd been transferred to an office in Kyoto. "You will all come. It will be at my apartment. I know I don't understand everything there is to know about your lives, obviously, but Yohji-kun was family to me. My friends grew up without me, but I had not aged. Mother and Father were gone years before I woke up. Ran, did you have a wake for them? Or did you just pretend they were transferred to America? Yohji-kun made me feel that I was still a living person and I belonged in this world and he became my family, a brother to me. We will have a wake. You will all come."

Omi sat up, hands over his mouth and nose, like someone trying to stop hyperventilating.

Ran's eyes watched his sister, violet disbelief.

"I'll come," Ken said, fingers bent like claws. "I'll come too. The Yohji I knew was my friend too. He dragged me to the park because he knew there were kids playing soccer. I'll come to a wake for Yohji."

Manx's eyes widened, then narrowed, and Aya knew she'd won. "A small, private wake."

What Aya wanted to know was why this woman had anything to say about Yohji's wake. Yohji had taught her to play American Poker though, and she knew when to leave the table. She smiled, every bit the young girl they thought she should be. "Thank you very much, Manx-san! You'll see, it will make us all feel better to do right by Yohji-kun!"

Her brother, at least, should have known how quickly loss can mature a person.

And that was how Aya-chan came to be waiting for them on the afternoon of Yohji's wake.

The apartment was small, just one room with a very small kitchen, very small bedroom, and an even smaller bathroom. It was the apartment of a young student. She stood in the center of the open space before the alter she'd set up, wearing a black suit dress, the earrings her brother had bought for her, even though he'd worn one for so long. Behind her, long tendrils of gray incense drifted lazily like Yohji's cigarette smoke. She'd actually lit one of those that he'd left behind, but it had burned down, leaving her home smelling faintly of Yohji's French cigarettes and laughter not ready to fade away.

Yohji had spent the night once, but she'd never tell anyone. It had been such a wonderful and such a sad night. They'd been shopping that day, to buy fashionable clothes for her, unlike the very modest and respectable clothes her brother had picked for her. To Yohji she had been a real person and in his smile she'd remembered that. She was a person. She wasn't the person her brother saw or the helpless person Manx seemed to see. She wasn't some prize to be stolen. She was Fujimiya Aya. The real Fujimiya Aya.

He'd laughed at her jokes and run his fingers through his caramel hair, cigarette between his fingers, lips still grinning like laughter could take him again at any moment. Her love for him had hit her as any young girl is overcome by love, but it was his trust in her that had made her a woman that night. He was in love with her brother.

The confession had happened so unexpectedly, as he'd leaned forward, still wearing vague hints of the lipstick they'd tried on as he was showing her how to apply it earlier, both of them cramped into her bathroom. She'd never seen a grown man look so vulnerable, so utterly truthful. They'd been talking about love, about how one would know, really know. "You know you love someone, when it's almost enough just to be near them, even if they don't know, they'll never know, but just as long as you know they're breathing, that you can see them, that it's enough to live for."

"Have you ever been in love," She had asked him, wishing secretly that this great love of his was gone, far away, married to the Russian consulate in Africa somewhere. Whoever she was, she was no match for a Fujimiya!

"I'm in love with someone I can never have," Yohji had confessed.

Aya remembered wanting to promise that yes, he could have this one he loved. He'd looked so full of longing, so hopelessly lonely, and a young girl's heart could spin round so fast. She wanted him to have his love, this one he desired, wanted to know he was happy. "Who is it? I'll help you! We can find a way to win her heart!" She stood then, raised her fist into the air, as if she would be the super hero of love! Remembering that moment at his wake felt like she'd failed him so terribly. It was her fault he'd waited. She should have picked up the ring the day before. It was her fault he'd gotten the inscription. One hand slipped into her suit pocket, around a small velvet box. It was her fault, though she didn't understand why. Maybe she just wanted it to be her fault so that his death wouldn't be some random event that could come back and take someone else she loved. She wanted it to be her fault so she'd never do whatever it was again.

Yohji had leaned back then, taken a long drag from his cigarette, and she'd known it would be a big confession coming then, as his eyes avoided hers. "I'm in love with," he said, pausing...

"Yes? Do I know her? Come on! Tell me please, Yohji-kun! Please!"

"I'm in love with Ran," he'd said the last part almost a whisper, as if he'd just clipped a wire he hoped would disarm the bomb, but wasn't quite sure.

She'd sunk back to her knees. That very moment was when she'd become a woman, a person capable of loving someone for their own best interest not only for hers. "I love you, Yohji-kun. You're my brother now," she said solemnly. "I will help you win him. I think he likes you. I've seen him look at you just a little too long."

"Probably just wanting to make sure I'm not looking at you," Yohji snorted.

Aya had never wanted to be her brother, except in such a very small flare right then. "He does love you. You'll see!" She smiled. And then someone knocked on her door.

She straightened, holding Yohji's ring. She'd make up for it today, so Yohji's spirit could rest. 'I love you, Yohji-kun,' she prayed to his spirit, wherever it was.

Omi wore a suit, western and black, though he was pale as a starched hotel sheet. Ken wasn't much better, though she thought he looked a little too much like a gangster for her tastes, always a little edge of violence to him. It was the sports, she guessed.

Her brother was so beautiful though. The black suit and gray shirt were such a contrast to the vivid red hair. Yohji had described Ran's eyes as amethysts, though she'd never seen them that way herself, she could see it now. She owed this to her brother too, though she didn't know how she could do what she planned now that they were all there.

He wouldn't meet her eyes, hadn't talked to her, really, since she'd demanded this. He deserved to know.

"Thank you for coming," she said, wishing deeply that her mother were there. Her mother had been so wise, so kind, and she'd known everything. Aya couldn't say she knew how to give a wake.

She'd gotten a guest book, food, gifts for each of Yohji's friends, and she'd forgotten to get chairs. They milled. She fidgeted.

"Is Manx-san coming?"

"I think so," Omi said. "Was Yohji-kun here often, Aya-chan?"

She didn't know how to define 'often'. When he hadn't been there, she missed him, so it made it seem like not enough. Now that he'd never be there, it seemed like cruelty itself. "He came to see me sometimes," she said.

That got her brother's attention, made his eyes narrow questioningly. Maybe a very slight flare of jealousy, she wondered. Her brother, he so needed some way to move on, past their parents, past this. She loved him double now, once for herself, once for Yohji-kun.

Ran moved by her, towards the alter. "When was this taken," he asked of the photograph.

"His birthday, this year," Aya said, letting the picture move in her mind. It was after they'd started plotting ways to get Ran's attention, ways for her to pass her calculus final. Yohji wore blue jeans and black boots, a green tee-shirt, and a thick blue down coat, left open, the fur of the hood laying around his shoulders. He sat on the back of a park bench, elbows on his knees, no sunglasses for once, a bright smile on his face, sakura blossoms behind him like the world was renewed and full of hope. There was nothing special about the clothes or the park, just the energy in Yohji.

Aya reached out to touch the glass over the picture. "It was a good day."

"Were you in love with him, Aya-chan?" Ran asked, voice so low as to be a whisper.

"Yes, but no, Ran-kun. He was in love with someone else," she said, a hand reaching into her pocket to hold Yohji-kun's ring in her fist. "He treated me like his sister."

"Hn," Ran looked at the photo for another minute, than turned his back to both. "He was a playboy."

"He wasn't," Aya snapped, frustrated by her brother and his stubborn thwarting of her plans. "He was a perfect gentleman."

As if she now had something to prove, she turned on the others, ring in her fist still. "Yohji-kun was so honorable to me. I wish my mother could have known him. He would have been so gentle towards her and listened to her stories about parakeets, just like he always listened to my stories. My mother would understand why he's part of our family."

Omi scratched the back of his head, the toe of one shoe polishing Aya-chan's hard wood floor.

Manx had come in just in time to hear that. Perhaps it was a bit of her own jealousy that sparked her response, just coming in to hear this little girl call Yohji family. Birman followed quietly in behind her lover, and that little added security was all Manx really needed to go off. "Family is not made in a few months," Manx snapped, an elegant ice blade.

"You're right! It's made over years. Falling in love takes years, but if someone loves than that makes them family."

"This isn't San Francisco," Ken sneered.

"No, it's Tokyo! And this is a Japanese wake and I have gifts for you," she said, feeling like she was losing control of what she'd meant to do. How could it be so hard to just tell Yohji's secret so his spirit could be free? How hard could it be to tell her brother he was loved? Her throat closed off so she could barely breath.

Maybe some level of it was how much Yohji had made her feel loved, feel apart of a family, which her brother didn't seem able to do anymore. She wanted to prove to them that she was family too, so that she wouldn't be alone now that Yohji was gone. "I know you all, because I know you through Yohji." She grabbed up the first wrapped gift and thrust it out towards Ken. "He felt badly about this. It was supposed to be for your birthday."

Ken's hands didn't raise to take the glossy brown paper wrapped gift. He stared at it and she watched a shiver roll across his shoulders.

"It's not going to burn you, Ken-kun," she said, imitating Yohji's lazy drawl, so slight, so personal to Yohji.

Ran went pale.

The next gift was for Omi, a black leather pen and pencil box. She didn't wait this time, but moved to him and took his hand. "You don't know how proud he was of you. And your studies. Every time I'd get discouraged, he'd say, 'Be like Omi-kun. He never lets anything stop him!'"

Ken moved away from Ran.

Aya had not had time to get to know her brother as he was now. To her, he was Ran, had always been Ran.

"I know each of you," she said, hoping they'd understand that she wanted their acceptance, that she didn't want this emptiness where Yohji had been to be empty for ever. "Here! This is for both of you." She held the pink wrapped box to both Manx and Birman.

Omi moved away from Ran.

Manx let Birman take the package, and paper opened easily under long, sharper than they should be nails. One black eyebrow rose slowly. "Thank you," she said.

"You gave them karma oil," Ran asked, eyes blinking, "For Yohji's funeral gift?"

Ran wasn't pale anymore.

Aya smiled brightly. For all her lipstick lessons with Yohji, she was truly more innocent than she thought.

"Do you know what that's for?" Ran's eye twitched.

Aya frowned. "I know he said they'd like it," she said.

"And he'd probably knew first hand! That fucking slut has probably slept with every twat in Tokyo!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

The two Fujimiya's faced each other, fists clenched, the tragedies of the past collapsing back into the core of the universe to be born anew in the energy between them. "Oh? I don't? I know he comes home with his eyes black and his clothes tore up. Maybe he likes it rough, uh? Maybe that's why he came home that night looking like he'd been done backwards in an ally!"

Manx stepped forward. "Shut up, Ran! It was my fault he looked like that the last night."

"Why? You were the one that did him? You don't have to stand up for him. He's dead. We can tell it like it is. He's not coming back!" Ran backed away, towards the door, only to have Yohji smiling at him from a park bench, from freedom that the blond didn't have anymore. "It's not my fault he's a whore!"

"It's my fault," Manx growled. "Ran, he was running an errand for me that night. A white errand, by himself. He must have been hurt. That's why he went over the cliff. It's my fault."

Birman reached a hand out to touch Manx's shoulder. "It was an accident, just an accident. If there were anyone to be responsible, we'd," she paused, "send them flowers, but there is no one. It was just bad luck."

"I miss him," Omi said suddenly, holding the leather pencil box with both hands. "He taught me how to shave."

"It's my game," Ken said, brown shiny paper wafting to the ground. "I lost this game years ago. He hated this game. I can't play without him. It's just not right. I was so scared on my first errand, but he was the one that teased me through it. It's my fault. I knew he was so nervous about something the last time I saw him. I should have listened to him. Maybe he'd be here."

"I know what he wanted to talk about," Aya whispered.

"You would," Ran snarled. He wasn't sure when she'd moved back by the alter, by Yohji's photo. He wasn't sure when his sister had started brushing her hair back like Yohji. He wasn't sure when he'd gotten into her face, his nose only inches from hers, the scent of Yohji on her, of Yohji's cigarette. "You're wearing his shirt, aren't you? Did you want him so badly? What would Mother think if she knew? What would you have done? You know everything don't you? What would you have done? You think you could do it differently? Do you think you could bring him back?"

"Mother would have loved him because his heart was pure! He loved so much!" She pulled the box from her pocket. "Do you want to know where I was when I wasn't in study group?"

"You were with him? You were," he snarled, the rage boiling darkly around him, jealousy more intense than any hate he'd ever felt.

Neither of them really heard Omi calling for calm. The universe was being reborn.

"Yes, I was with him! He picked me up and we went to buy the ring," she growled, grinding glass into her brother's heart.

"You were going to marry him? He's not worth shit! I thought you were smarter than that!"

"No, he was going to ask _you_ to marry him," she said, voice suddenly as calm as a snake before a strike, her hands catching his and shoving the box into his fists. In truth, it was just a friendship/love ring, not marriage, but she'd had enough of her brother's idiocy. "Look at the inscription, you asshole."

He shook. Aya-chan was lying. His mouth went dry. "You're lying."

"Am I? Look at the ring. He was going to talk to you that day. He did try to talk to you, didn't he?"

"Oh my god," Ran said, swaying. "It's all my fault. I did it."

Ken caught him, Omi on the other side, the ring box unopened, clutched in one fist.

Aya-chan didn't lie. They both knew that.

The wake had not gone well.

Manx, Birman, and Aya watched the three florists leave as evidence of that.

"With everything he taught you," Manx said, "Did he teach you to drink?"

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TBC **

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**Remember: **I did not write this**, merely helped with the plotting. **NIX**! _YOU'RE MY HERO!_

**weisslover27** - _Hmmm not sure lol! Spanked for the tease chapter? O.o hmm... that sounds... lmfao never mind. It's better to not comment._

**Tygrrlyli** - _Wooo! You live! I'm glad you haven't lost interest... and don't worry about it, I understand what it's like to be distracted by shinny objects. It happens a lot. As for the child, naaaa don't put it up for adoption. Mei-chan doesn't care THAT much, she just doesn't wanna raise it lmfao. I guess that means it's all mine or something O.o joygasms!_

**zelda-13** -_lol_ _hugs for you too! And,_ _No problem, I'll write more._

**MikaSamu** - _Hai, the dream WAS induced by SchuSchu but I'm not sure if I ever explain that in the story. I'm pretty sure I just leave things up to the imagination of the reader. But, seeing as how the story isn't finished... we'll see how things go._

**AolaniDathomir** - _Yeah, poor Ran.. it only gets worse for him. Though he kinda deserves it, ah well. But no worries, I'll try to keep updating regularly _

**Harmony** - _lol hai, Schu induced guilt (or so I think, I left it up to the reader unless I decided to talk about it more in later chapters. Not sure yet...). And it's good to know you think along the same lines as me !_

**Forsaken** - _Regret and realization realllly takes seed after THIS chapter. Ran gets a big fat "In your face" slap thanks to his little sister... whom I'm beginning to show attachment to. Which is funny cause I usually don't like her that much, she's just turning out to be so cool in this story ! Umm as for getting to Yohji before Schu does... hehehe X)!_

**dimonyo-anghel** - _Yes. O.O yes wakes really ARE emotional._

**Morkael** - _Lol Sank you_!


	10. Making Friends

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 9: Making friends

Pairing: Yohji/Aya; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (Thus far for swearing. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: **The first half of this story was written by ME and the second half was written by NIX**. No, this fic isn't really going to turn into a joint project but it's fun to let someone else write a bit for this story every now and then, ne! No, this fic isn't really going to turn into a joint project but it's fun to let someone else write a bit for this story every now and then, ne! Also, sorry for the long wait on this chapter… life got in the way.

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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Crawford was not pleased.

No... Crawford was MORE than not pleased with the current turn of events, he was down right pissed.

The unfortunate side of being a precognitive was the exact timing of the visions and the amount of time you were given to correct whatever it was you wanted to correct in order to change the possible outcome. The incident with Balinese, Abyssinian and the youngest Fujimiya had not made a large enough impression on the future to make itself known to Crawford until it was too late.

Harm to their team was not eminent from what he could see but the possibility of aggravation it was going to cause the Oracle was slightly more than abundant. He really should have seen this one coming, gift or no gift.

Long before Schuldig had probably ever made plans to abduct his little pet, Crawford had known of Mastermind's infatuation with the Weiss kitten. He could see it in the other's eyes and he heard it in the other's voice whenever the man gave a report or freely spoke of them. He should have put a stop to it then before a vision was needed but he hadn't, and now he was going to pay the price.

Why exactly did Schuldig have to be such an insufferable child when it came to possessions anyway?

The office door cracked open but the leader of Schwartz didn't bother to look up. He could _feel_ Schuldig probing his mind, attempting to find traces of emotions so he could prepare for the lecture coming his direction. With irritation already built up, the older teammate deemed it appropriate to open a little gateway and flood his younger teammate with the heavy feeling of vexation -the same vexation that had been burning away at the back of Crawford's thoughts for some time now.

Footsteps hesitated and the office door shut. Good idea, Nagi and the rest of the neighbors didn't need to hear the impending speech.

"Sit." A direct order Schuldig did not dare disobey.

"Brad, I know what you're going to-"

"Don't start with me Mastermind or I will put a bullet through your head right now." Well good, that shut the self-righteous little bastard up for a bit. "You're **not** going to keep him."

Crawford didn't need a gift to predict the whine he was about to elicit from the German.

"Why not? His teammates think he's dead and that Abyssinian half-wit isn't going to do anything to me least he wants his team to find out the truth."

The Oracle shifted, "It's dangerous all the same. He's a serious threat to the team..."

"No, he's not. The only way out of that room is through the door, and there is no way he could get out of there and harm any members of our team without you seeing it first or it alerting one of us. He's out numbered, out powered and lacking in adequate defense mechanisms. Threat and escape are highly unlikely"

Silence leaked into the room as Brad looked up and the two began a fierce stare down. Crawford knew Schuldig was right but Crawford also knew that having a member of Weiss inside the Schwartz residence was, regardless of precautions, an unsound idea.

"Besides, I think he would make an excellent addition to our team."

The staring contest broke the minute Oracle blinked at Schuldig. Twice.

"Excuse me?"

"Kodou, he would make a powerful weapon against Kritiker and a handy expendable pawn."

"You're making up excuses for him to stay."

"Perhaps, but they're pretty damn good excuses. At least let me try...?"

The temptation of what it would be like to have the use of white assassin around was heavy enough to just barely outweigh the foreboding reasons to get rid of him immediately. Damn it.

"You have two weeks. If you can't convince him to turn by then, I'll shoot him myself."

"Ja, no problem." The cocky attitude returned ten-fold and soured whatever streams of thoughts were running through the leader's head.

"Dismissed."

Mastermind grinned a wolfish grin and wasted no time in scurrying off -back to the place he had crawled out from. The Schwartz leader sighed and rubbed at his aching temples, there was no way the German would be able to turn Kudou in two weeks and they both knew it. Unless the telepath decided to use force, it was highly improbable. All the same, if Schuldig did not get rid of his new pet by the end of the permitted playtime, Brad was going to get rid of it for him.

The redhead needed discipline in whatever form it came in and more than that; he needed to understand his position in their team. Schuldig belonged to Crawford, in every way. There was not going to be any distractions or little _pets_ getting in the way of that. The German was owned, marked and possessed... no exceptions, Schuldig was his.

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Farfarello liked Yohji, for the most part. He smelled nice and he had just a little hint of frightened rabbit in his green eyes. People were more fun to play with when they were sane. Fear was a good indicator of sanity. 

And for whatever reason, that brought a feeling of something like tenderness for Schuldig's prey. Crawford might even be pleased if the pretty blond were to give up the ghost sooner than Schuldig had planned. Because it _would_ happen.

They all had just enough of a link between them that Farfarello knew what that red headed disaster wanted, and he also knew he'd never get it, that the pretty blond would end up a decaying corpse, lips pulling back from his teeth, flesh rotting away. It made Farfarello smile. If only they could be friends, just a little, maybe the blond would tell him what it was like to die when he was a ghost. Because he **would** be a ghost, even Jei could see that the blond had unfinished business with this world.

"I would have been a priest," he said, giving a confession, in hopes that the blond would confess back. That's they way people made friends, or so he read in a book once. "If I hadn't started killing people."

Yohji's lips parted just slightly. He really wanted to believe that he'd just gotten some bad drugs or was having a hell of a hangover. This SO was not happening. What was happening was that he was going to quite putting it off, go see Aya-chan and see the ring he'd gotten for Aya. It was a nice ring, good metal, and it had cost a little more than he'd planned, but it was simple, something he could believe Aya would wear. The inscription he'd picked was small, but he held the inscription to his heart now. He held his love for Aya close to his heart. Everything would work out as long as he had that, because he didn't really have much else. Even his friendship with Aya-chan was touched by his love for Aya.

"Are you listening to me," Farfarello snapped, the one yellow eye watching him as if he were a small fluffy bunny meant for dinner.

"It's a shame you started killing people. Never too late to stop."

"Your ghost is going to be fun to have around. I'll tell you my real name when you're dead." Farfarello had miles of patience, but time for him just flowed at a different pace than for everyone else. To him Yohji had stared off into space for hours.

"My ghost will probably just be a pathetic thing," Yohji said, feeling cold inside, thinking about how his ghost would probably take up residence in Aya's apartment and read books over Aya's shoulder. At least he wouldn't bug Aya as much when he was dead as when he was alive. "I'll just float around wishing I could have finished some things."

It was working, Farfarello decided. He tried to think about what that book had said about making friends. "Finishing things is always good," he said, trying to keep his voice even, normal, friendly. "What do you want to finish? I can kill someone for you, if you want. But I don't want you to leave when you're a ghost. I want to talk to you then."

Yohji smiled, a plastic smile that had about as much in common with friendship as mannequins have with models. He had a sudden feeling that he was Alice and he'd fallen down the rabbit hole. "You'd kill someone for me?"

"Not Schuldig," Farfarello said, heading that off. "Maybe someone from Weiss. Someone who betrayed you?"

The hair stood up on the back of Yohji's neck and he snarled, rage dancing along his nerves. "None of my team would betray me. My friends will come for me. They didn't betray me!"

Farfarello scratched an itch under his eye patch. "Living people are always so strange. Now that we've made friends, I think your ghost is going to be much more interesting." Then he pulled a small gold edged blade from a pocket and held it out. "Want to play with one of my blades?"

Suicide would just make it so much easier.

"No. Thank you," Yohji said, holding Aya's ring in his mind. Giving up was not an option. Not yet anyway.

* * *

TBC

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**To all who gave comments to Nix** - _She says thank YOU for reading it and she's glad you enjoyed it. The reviews were wonderful._

**Tygrrlyli** - _Joygasms over a kid? Sure why not? I get Joygasms over ice-cream ;;; Lol Anyway! Yeah, I was totally pleased with the way Aya-chan came out in this story. I'm not usually a big fan of her but -someone- needed to smack Aya/Ran upside the head and she seemed like the only one really capable of getting to him. Soooo woot for her! And thank you for the wished luck !_

**Jukeboxcsi** - _Yeah... I'm still playing with the idea of forgiveness ;; it should be interesting._

**AolaniDathomir** - _Yeaaaah, Nixy-chan is awesome! Thank god for great friends and small favors lol. As for how the others will react cackles ... let's just say it'll be fun._

**Dimonyo-anghel** - _Aya-chan rocked my world in the wake chapter. Her memories of Yohji as just so... lovely. I really like the way it came out too._

**Tmelange** - _Wow! You're the second person who said they cried over this chapter. I admit though that I, too, got a little emotionally worked up over it. It was a pretty powerful lesson that Aya/Ran needed to learn, ne?_

**MikaSamu** - _Hai, he really has just been served his well-deserved slap, and that's probably just what he needed too. _

**ShinigamiSeiji** _- Oh it's really awesome to hear that you're anxiusly waiting to see what happens next. Thanks for waiting and I hope you stick around for the chapters to come too!_

**Morkael** - _Lol It's a Super Fujimiya Angst feast! X) Ah the Fujimiya sibblings make my heart smile. As for the inscription... BUWAHAHAHA! You'll see._


	11. Foolish Games

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 10: Foolish Games

Pairing: Yohji/Aya; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing and sexual references. R+ rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: Hey everyone! I'm sorry that the time between posting of chapters has gotten lengthier. I guess things have just gotten really busy for me lately and I've found it hard to find time to write and post this story. It's really no good . but I'm working on improving the situation. Anyway…

On the _plus_ side, I got to go to a convention this last weekend and guess who I cosplayed as? I'll give you a hint... his name starts with a "**Y**" and ends in an "**ohji**". But what's better than that is the _OTHER_ Weiss Kreuz cosplayer I ran into while there. Can you guess who they were playing? **AYA**! BUWAHAH! Needless to say, **fan-service pictures** were necessary... wanna see them? X3

Feedback: I'll admit it, I'm a review whore.

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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Frustration was simply too mild of a word for the feeling Schuldig had been suffering over the last few days. Time was running out and this little kitten wasn't bending the way he wanted him to. The captive idiot was refusing anything the German handed him and THAT did not bode well for _either_ party. Curse those Kritiker brats and their stubborn ways. Everything would be so much easier if Yohji would just give in or if he could just... if he would just...

"Check mate."

...give in to his desperation and fuck with Balinese's mind already.

"You're kidding." Schuldig blinked at the black and white board in front of him. Check mate again? What the hell? He wasn't the best at chess but he was certainly better than THIS. He never lost three games in a row, not even to Brad! Then again, he never _played_ three games in a row with Brad.

"You're not paying attention." Yohji leaned back against the headboard of his temporary bed, smiling faintly while exhaling a breath of cigarette smoke. "Your mind is..." The man drew a circle with one finger in the space above his head, "Elsewhere."

"No shit huh?" Schuldig laughed, a grin slowly forming on his lips. You really didn't have to be a mind reader to know that sort of thing but it always caught him off guard when someone called it accurately on him. He knew he was distracted but he must have been _really_ distracted if Balinese could wipe the chess board with his ass three times in a row and then go on to tell him exactly _how_ distracted he really was.

"What has you so captivated that you can't concentrate on a stupid game?" It was odd, having a normal conversation with your enemy like this. Like you were old pals and not strangers on opposing sides of morality.

"First of all, this game took me six months to figure out so don't start calling it stupid. And second, If I told you what I was thinking, I'd have to kill you."

Yohji's face fell a little, "Oh." Well, there went the idea "normal conversation".

"Mien Gott, I'm kidding. I swear you Weiss kitties don't know how to take a joke." The redhead berated his companion with a smile, leaning back away from the game board and observing the younger man in his presence. "So serious all the time."

Another drag was pulled from the burning cigarette before a hand drifted lazily through honey colored hair. He was allowed to take a shower that morning and damn did it feel good. Since the accident, he had been feeling rather disgusting and by some of Schuldig's reaction to his person, he probably smelt as bad as he felt.

"Not really, I think you just have that sort of effect on people. I never know whether to take you seriously or not."

Schuldig shrugged at that, "How can you say you're not serious all the time when you're still being pensive after I tease you about it?"

A grin formed on white assassin's face and Schuldig half held his breath. There was a bandage over a small cut on the Yohji's forehead and a bruise still high on his cheekbone from the accident but yet... he was stunning. If anything, he looked sexier when he was a little roughed up. The thought alone caused the German to shift uncomfortably in his spot so as not to show the start of an arousal forming. Damn, he couldn't even express how much he wanted to take handfuls of that silky hair and-

"Hello?"

Schuldig blinked, "What?"

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"

He was talking? The redhead frowned and quickly scanned Yohji's mind, picking up on the last few words still rustling around inside the other's head. Far be it for him to admit he hadn't actually heard a fucking word.

"I heard you, I just didn't have anything to say." Schuldig lied easily, more easily than he could tell the truth.

"I don't believe you but whatever." Another long drag and for a minute, the darker assassin honestly considered how much he would kill to BE that infernal cigarette. Schuldig paused and mentally swore at himself. He needed to get out and spend some quality time elsewhere if he was honestly getting jealous over inanimate objects.

"What would you say if I asked you to join Schwartz?"

Yohji coughed on his cancer stick and set it aside, placing it on an ashtray to be forgotten. Good. Fucking cigarette was getting too much attention anyway.

"I'd ask what's the catch?"

"No catch."

"There's ALWAYS a catch." Ah, he had a point.

"You'd never be able to leave Schwartz. No changing your mind after you agree and... you'd probably have to face your own team in battle." He knew it wasn't going to go over well. The minute Balinese's face went slightly sour was enough to say it all. He wasn't going to betray his team.

"I'd have to decline."

This was REALLY not looking good for anyone.

"What if I asked you to just stay here then? Not join the team, just.. stay." Balinese hesitated and Schuldig smiled. Hesitation meant he was seriously considering the offer. Good, now time to reel the fish in and go home. "I could give you whatever you wanted. I could even take away all that pain you have stored up in that little angsty head of yours. All those bad memories and guilty feelings... I could wash them away and you could start over. A brand new man with no guilt or remorse, only the sweet memories to greet you when you sleep."

The German didn't even have to touch the other's mind to know Yohji was battling with himself over the idea of it. Who wouldn't? If someone could offer to take away all the years of pain and heartache then hand you a new slate to work with... well, the temptation would probably be too much for anyone else to bare. Especially a killer who had a lot of pain and heartache to evanesce.

"I could change how you remember the course of your life. Asuka could just be the girl you let move away and marry someone else over seas instead of the women who died by your hand." Kodou flinched but Schuldig pressed on, "Kritker and your years with Weiss... they can all be forgotten. All you have to do is promise stay here and you can be a free man."

No traces of surprise could be found on the blonde's face at the mention of Asuka and Kritker simply because Yohji had already gathered that Schuldig had done him one over. Scanned his mind for useful information and such, not that the blond blamed him. He'd do the same if the positions were switched. However, what WAS on the white assassin's face was the look of hard concentration.

Yohji was going to say yes. Schuldig could feel it, taste the victory on his tongue and was it ever sweet.

But something was wrong. The golden creature before him was taking far too long to consider what should have been an easier "yes". There was something stopping him... something clogging up the agreement process. What in the hell...?

"While it would be a gift beyond comparison," Softened jade eyes flickered towards the door, "I couldn't give up my memories that easily. "

"What?"

The hint of a smile brushed against Yohji's lips again, a more subtle but honest smile, "Even if some of my memories are terrible and keep me awake at night... they make me appreciate the lighter ones. Without those nightmares, I could never be as grateful as I am to see how far I have come. Taking away my pain would be like letting me forget how sweet real joy is and that... I don't want that." The lighter pair of eyes drifted over to meet up with the blank darker ones. "I'm a bit of a selfish man you know. I don't want to give up the things I hold dear to me... even if they just cause me pain in the end."

He was talking about more than his memories... he was talking about Abyssinian and it infuriated Mastermind. Why did Kodou have to be so smart some days and so... dumb on others? Why did he have to convince himself that he loved that bastard of a swordsman when he could have so much better? Why...?

Teeth ground together and an unfriendly expression bled its way onto the black assassin's face. In no other point in his life had he felt such genuine hate for a person he barely knew. A hate far stronger than any other emotion he had ever experienced before.

Ran was unworthy. Ran was the enemy. Ran had to be destroyed but not before Yohji had to be taught a lesson.

Slowly the furious hunter leaned in closer to his prey and gave the little kitten a deceiving smile.

"You're a real fool, Kodou. I just want you to know that..."

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TBC

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**Sywren** - _My hero!_

**zelda-13** - _You know, I would love to write more and produce more but life just gets in the way a lot, sorry about that!_

**Jukeboxcsi** - _Waaaah! I know they're really short chapters, sorry sorry. I'll see what I can do about writing longer ones... O.o;_

**Laligratliondor** - _Sure thing!_

**AolaniDathormir** - _I'll try to update faster but I keep coming down with this really retarded illness called "life". Kinda a drag really but I'll do my best anyway! Thanks for sticking with me and reading the story in spite of the long delays. _

**Gonyos** - _Thank you! And as for Yohji staying well ... hmmm... not exactly sure that's going to happen. As for Aya realizing his feelings and stealing him back.. tehehe that's a big possibility._

**Morkael** -:heart:_ You make my heart smile with your dedication to reviewing._


	12. Beautiful Mourning

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 11: Beautiful Mourning

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: R-ish (Not really but to be on the safe side… it's for swearing and implied rape.)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and non-con and a swear word or two

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: **Things done/said in _Italics_ are a flash back!**

(1) The "gift" referees to the box received in chapter 1 of the story.

Thanks to: **(see bellow)**

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_"He's beautiful when he cries, you know."_

It had been four days since the wake and two days since Ran had received that little "gift"(1) from Schuldig at the flower shop. Deciding that fresh air was necessary at this point, the redhead had volunteered to go out and pick up groceries on his way back from dropping off Aya-chan. Much to his misfortune, it was _then_ that he had a rather unexpected and terribly unpleasant encounter with a person he would have rather not seen.

_"What?"_

Why it had never occurred to the assassin that even **Schwartz** had to eat, was beyond him.

_"Yohji- he's beautiful when he cries. I love seeing the tears coming from those large jade eyes of his. It compliments that sad expression he wears all the time now. Would you like to see it too?"_

In recollection, he should have been paying more attention to the things around him but his mind was simply too busy for that sort of thing. Caught between thoughts of recent events and ponderings of what was to come, Ran hadn't even seen the telepath in front of him until he collided into him head on. It was totally unlike Ran and he would have damned the person who was occupying most of his unsettled musings if they weren't unbelievably damned already.

_"No..."_

_"No?"_

_Images rushed the Weiss kitten's mind anyway, filling his already full head with the sight of Yohji. Not just Yohji, but Yohji holding the most hurt and defeated expression that Ran had ever seen on him or anyone else for that matter. Yohji was… Yohji looked like he had been…_

_"Stop..."_

The redhead rubbed at his temples before sinking his hands into his hair, gently giving the unruly red locks a tug. What was he going to do? Yes, something HAD to be done but what? What could **he** possibly do to amend the situation?

"Why? Aren't you the least bit curious to what has become of him?"

"No..."

"You shouldn't lie, Abyssinian, it's unbecoming of you."

The grip on soft tendrils of red hair suddenly grew tighter in a rather painful way. Why were these memories still playing long after his encounter with Schuldig had ended? Why was so much guilt clouding his darkened heart and making him regret... everything. Why? Always why.

_"Do you know when he cries the most..?"_

When the leader didn't respond Schuldig smiled and leaned over to whisper softly into the ear of his enemy.

This was all Yohji's fault. No wait, that wasn't right. Yohji wasn't the cause of all this mess, HE was. It was his fault for rejecting Yohji without hearing him out first and it _his_ fault that Aya-chan had been kidnapped in the first place because _he_ had let down his guard and grown careless with her safety. He had become too comfortable with the easy life and for a moment forget exactly _who_ and _what_ he was.

"...When I rape him."

And that's when Ran lost it. Right there in the view of everyone, he simply lost it. Moving as fast as he could, he turned and aimed a fist in the direction of the laughing redhead. He wanted that laughter to end, he wanted those images to stop and, more than anything, he wanted that man to die.

Somewhere in his mind, Ran had always believed that no one could possibly be as evil as Schuldig was. Despite the fact that he killed evil men on a regular basis, none of them were quit as twisted or quit as baneful as the telepathic man before him. There was the briefest feeling of satisfaction when Ran's fist met the jaw of his opponent and his knuckles split under the impact. Schuldig needed to be destroyed.

Staring at the member of Schwartz who was picking himself up off the floor, Ran was more than tempted to go on with his assault. In fact, he would have started in the moment Mastermind hit the ground if it weren't for the patrons walking past their isle, looking at them as if they were insane. Too bad for them, they weren't very far off.

The door behind the redhead opened and allowed for another form to step into the harsh outside world, not that Ran was looking. Ran was too busy caught up in the vision of his memory.

The German swore colorfully in a couple different languages while nursing the fresh wound tenderly with one hand. Green eyes, much darker than Yohji's, snapped up to send a glare at the white assassin whom had the insane inclination to hit him again. Fury burned at the darker killer through lavender filters and hardly hid the fact that homicidal intent was running through that mind of his. Bad kitty, Schuldig smirked a little, deciding to speak up again before Ran determined that he should go through with the thoughts ricocheting back and forth inside of his mind.

"You know something else..?" The lifting hand of Abyssinian hesitated in response to his question. Good. "It's -your- name he sobs each night that I take him. Kind of ironic, isn't it?" Ran didn't move or even so much as breathe in the moment after that. Perfect stillness laid between them slowly followed by satisfaction and remorse from the respective ends of the tryst.

"Ran-kun? Are you okay? You've been sitting outside for at least an hour now." Omi. He didn't deserve Omi's tender words -he didn't deserve anything. He was a betrayer.

_Schuldig left after that. Simply turned on his heel and walked out of the store, not bothering to finish the shopping he was obviously doing. Ran continued to stare at nothing for another several minutes until a store clerk asked him if he was alright. Taking Schuldig's example, the redhead turned and walked away, forgetting whatever reason it was that he was there to begin with._

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Kind of ironic, isn't it?"

"Yes."

There was a small pause before the youngest spoke again. "Ano... did you remember the groceries on your way back from dropping off Aya-chan?"

The leader rose to his feet and brushed past Omi, souring the child's expression when he opened the door and stepped inside, "No, I forgot."

"That's unlike you."

_"He's beautiful when he cries, you know."_

"I know."

**TBC**

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**Zelda-13** - _Oooh Omi Schwartz? You know, Omi isn't my favorite character but I honestly think he's fascinating as a character in general. Lol makes me wish I could get into the habit of writing him too. Ah well! Yeah, Aya IS an ass but he's getting his payback and Yotan... well, I would call him stupid but meh, that's me. _

**Firebard**: _Hearts for you ! _

**Rosemarykiss** - _You know, for a moment I was totally confused by what you were calling "romantic" lol. It was really entertaining, if only for a minute. X)_

**Morkael** - _Ah, no, I don't plan on quitting. There are technically 15 chapters written out so far, only 11 of which have been through my beta reader so, if nothing else, you're gonna get through 15 chapters. Excited? Lol I kinda am however I'm a little weary about it. (SPOILER) Cause it'll be my first time writing a non-con fic._


	13. The Wrong Answer

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 12: The Wrong Answer

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swearing

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _Sound track: Gone with the Sin - HIM; The Pet - A perfect Circle _

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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"Why do you like him?"

Yohji blinked and looked up from the book he had been courteously given to read during the times that no one was around to humor him with company. Not that he minded a book to the company of Schwartz members, it was just sometimes human contact felt necessary... even if it WAS with the people you feared and distrusted the most.

"Who?"

"You know who, don't play games." Schuldig bit out the words, frowning at the lighter assassin sitting so calmly on the bed with that feigned look of ignorance.

The German was not in a good mood today. He hadn't been in a good mood since he came back yesterday with a bruise developing on his jawbone. Someone had hit him while he was out doing whatever it was that Schwartz did on their off season, not that Yohji was surprised mind you. _Someone_ was long since past due to hit the cocky sonofabitch, the blond was just a little sour that it wasn't HIM who had been given the opportunity.

"Why do you want to know?" The book was set aside on the (still) bland comforter, forgotten like the pair of shoes he had shoved under the bed in frustration a couple of days ago. Shoes were meant to be used outside of a living establishment, as far as Yohji could tell he wasn't leaving his current living establishment any time soon. Which left the shoes as something of an irritating mockery and so, needless to say, after a few days of staring at them, they were unceremoniously shoved under the bed and forgotten.

"Mein Gott, just fucking tell me already." Yeah, Schu was in a _really_ bad mood.

The white kitten mimicked his captor's frown and shifted, looking down at the pair of blue jeans he had been lent during his stay there. They were comfortable and slightly worn like the grey button up shirt he was wearing. Something suspiciously told him these were Schuldig's clothes, though he never bothered to question it.

"I don't-"

"Yes you do so don't start with that "I don't know" crap."

One fine eyebrow arched itself as paler green eyes raised to meet with the darker set. Pissy much? A sigh escaped his lips and he hardened his expression. Despite how nice Schuldig had been up until this point, the man was STILL his enemy and he needed to keep a fine distance between them.

"It's none of your business."

And with that the redhead was on his feet, across the room and threatening Yohji's personal space before the lanky assassin even had a chance to exhale. He had all but forgotten about that unnaturally fast speed Schuldig possessed until the German was in his face, holding a glare that promised certain death. This attitude was exactly the opposite of what the telepath had been displaying during his whole stay there, and it was scary.

"I'm this close," Schuldig held up two fingers only centimeters apart to emphasize his point, "to losing my temper. So now would not be the best time to start pulling your shitty attitude with me, Kodou, unless you want to wake up three days from now with the worst fucking migraine you've ever experienced."

Yohji's eyes grew slightly wider than normal, "Who pissed in YOUR cheerios?"

The German's right eye twitched and he slammed his hands violently against the wall on either side of Yohji's head, closing the other in with his body. The blond really DID have a death wish and it was, unfortunately for him, shinning through brilliantly just then.

"I said don't push me." The words were dark and laced with the promise of violence, the very violence which was visibly bubbling just bellow the surface of Schuldig. Yohji decided to cut the crap in favor of his life.

"Because he's just like me."

The darker of the two stared at the speaker blankly and the ex-P.I. took that as a good sign that maybe elaboration was called for at this point.

"We, he and I... we're the same. We both have lost people very close to us and we both would do anything it takes to protect the ones we love. We..." Yohji swallowed hard, pressing himself against the wall to put space between himself and his enemy, "We're both tainted killers who wear masks which were set up to keep people at a distance so we won't hurt them and so they... so they can't hurt us. Illusions built because we understand it's necessary to go on living. I -I guess I love him because-"

"Enough." Schuldig said, eyes narrowed. "You're romanticized bullshit is making me sick."

If there was one thing Yohji could have wished for in that moment, it would have been for his watch. Schuldig was going to kill him and he wanted at least a chance at defending himself.

"He doesn't love you -he fucking hates your guts, Yohji, and what's worse is you KNOW it. Why do you bother?" Well, at least the German was talking instead of ripping him apart right away. "Do you want to know how I really got you here?" Then again, maybe the talking wasn't such a hot idea either.

"I took Aya-_chan_ away for a few days then told Ran if he didn't hand you over, I was going to kill her. You should have seen the laughter in his eyes when I told him I wanted to trade her for you. He was MORE than happy to hand your stupid ass over because you're worthless to him. In his eyes, you're less than the ground he walks on so WHY do you insist on caring about him even now?"

The words were a little too much for Yohji to digest in one sitting. Aya was the one who...?

"Yes. He was the one who wrecked your car, pulled you from the accident then handed you over all tied up on a silver platter. The only thing he cares about in this whole fucked up world is his precious little sister."

It hurt. It really really hurt to hear someone finally tell the truth. The pain seeped out from the depths of Balinese's mind and the despair he had been fighting was finally beginning to blacken any hope he had for survival. Schuldig loved it. Yohji's sorrow was so much sweeter than any sugar created by man or nature. He was addicted and he needed more.

"I guess..." The smile on the blond's face disrupted the flow of pain, breaking it with forced optimism. It was a dying man's last reach for a life preserver, "I guess I can't really blame him; Aya-chan is a great girl. If I were him... I would have probably done the same." Aya-chan was like Yohji's little sister and he loved her as such. So many good memories were tied to her, so many bright and happy thoughts came from the memories of the time he spent in her company. Yes, he would have sacrificed everything for her too... she was worth it.

Schuldig's glare grew four times more lethal. Apparently that was not the response he was looking for.

"You fucking idiot." Teeth were bared and a growl was forced out through a clenched jaw in a hiss. It became quickly obvious that Schuldig was barely containing himself. Yeah, Yohji was a dead man. "He betrayed you and you're just going to sit here and tell me you forgive him?"

Yohji sighed once more. He really wished he could have at least seen Ran and Aya-chan one last time, "I guess so."

"Wrong answer."

And then, his vision gave out.

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TBC

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**Zelda-13** - _Oooh I like Brad too but unfortunately I have troubles writing him... go figure._

**Forsaken** - _Oooh! I'm so happy to see that you're still making an effort to read this! Thanks for the luck and I'll keep trying to produce more. _

**AolaniDathomir** - _Yeah, "life" and "work" seem to be rather contagious. I'm really glad you liked the last chapter, it's actually my personal favorite and (ironically) the first chapter I ever wrote for this story. And don't worry about it ending any time soon... I have an odd feeling this story is going to be longer than even -I- anticipated. Alas, some stories just take longer to tell than others. Oh well _

**Weisslover27** - _Oh thank you for reminding me that people are still reading this. I was going to put of posting another chapter until I ran across your review. So, just to ease your mind, I wont forget about you guys for you (the readers) are the inspiration of the writers. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter too ;_

**Morkael** - _Yeah, the more I write of this the more I feel bad for Schu too . damn. It's so hard to write a bad guy as a bad guy when you really like the bad guy lol. Oh well!_

**Rosemarykiss** - _Lol I can't give you too many spoilers, that wouldn't be fair?_


	14. Of Love, Life and Death

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 13: Of Love, Life and Death

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly. R rated for later chapters)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi and a swearing

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _A drunk Ran is an amusing Ran. At least to me… lol. Also, the poem mentioned is "_AND THOU ART DEAD, AS YOUNG AND FAIR" _by: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824). The poem was sort of a last minute picking for a poem but I happen to like it well enough and Lord Byron wrote so many beautiful things that I felt it would be fitting to include it in the story._

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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In another time, just before the fall of Esset, everyone in Weiss had been pronounced dead. The papers had been filed, any living families were notified and small grave stones were erected next to each other for anyone who had the mind (or in this case the morbid interest) to visit. No one ever visited. At least not until now.

The "leader" was sitting on the ground, back against the grave marked "Fujimiya Ran" which sat between two other gravestones -one signed "Kodou Yohji" and the other labeled "Hidaka Ken". Incense was burning near by from a visit shortly passed to a neighboring grave and flowers littered the same area as small tokens of love to the deceased who would never see them. However, unlike the person who had left the burning incense and flowers, Ran was not there to pay his respects or mourn the loss he felt...

Ran was there to drink. And swear. Profusely.

Being an assassin was always so much cooler in the movies.

"Why..." The redhead began a rather intoxicated rant to a temporary substitute for Yohji. "Why are you such a bloody bastard all the time? Even when you're "dead" I can't get away from you. If I didn't like you, I'd hate you." No, no one ever said drunken rants had to make sense. Especially when they were being scowled out to a chunk of polished stone.

"This is your fault you know..." The irate assassin mumbled over the top of his vodka bottle. Cheap American vodka went down like water, more so when your taste buds were already dead from consuming several glasses of it earlier.

"I'm not sure _how_ it's your fault but you're just going to have to trust me on this one, it is."

Another swig and the senselessness continued. Rolling his head to the other side to stare in a different direction for a bit, the frown on Fujimiya's face grew heavier.

"And YOU." A snort followed the words which were spat to the ground, "You... you're so... you. Fuck off already Ken, I'm sure some of this is somehow your fault as well."

When the gravestone didn't reply, Ran felt a small surge of satisfaction, "That's what I thought."

The man's heavy head rolled over the top of his own marker once more so that lavender eyes could grace the lifeless grey stone baring Yohji's name. He hated that stone. It mocked him more than the image of Yohji smiling in the park, cherry blossoms falling to the ground to create such a picturesque... picture. It really was a lovely image, it was just the wrong image for brooding material. Ran wanted to hate Yohji, not think about how gawd damn pretty he was.

Pretty and carefree... beautiful and serious... elegant and...

"A fucking moron." The redhead snorted again and continued his glaring contest with the marker. He REALLY hated that stone.

The only thing he hated more than that stone was himself. However, this shouldn't have been much of a surprise to anyone considering that there wasn't a whole lot else he could have hated more than himself, especially after these recent events. Funny enough though, while he kept up his rant of "I hate you", what he really meant to say was "I'm sorry." For all he knew, Yohji could be bleeding to death in some basement corner... or worse. There were so many things worse than death... none of which he would ever really wish upon a teammate.

Or upon someone he cared for...

Yeah, someone he cared for. He cared for Yohji... the fact was inescapable.

One pale hand clenched tightly around a little black velvet box that had been kept closed since Aya-chan shoved it in his hand. He was afraid to look at it. It was just a ring and a childish fear but it was a strong enough childish fear that the box remained as sealed as the moment it was given to him. He simply couldn't face the loved wrapped inside.. the love meant for him.

Did he really believe his sister when she said that Yohji wanted to propose to him? Reflecting back upon the day Yohji had pleaded to talk to him and the disappointment the blond held when Ran shot him down, he didn't have much of a reason to doubt her.

Perhaps Yohji was a moron but when placed next to Ran, the redhead took the cake for idiocy.

Alcohol never helped with depression. Abyssinian knew this and knew it well, yet the bottle was pressed to his lips again and the bitter liquid fire rushed down his throat to greet the rest of its mate in his stomach. Whoever thought that there was a logical reason behind drinking your sorrows away was dead wrong.

Maybe he was just hoping that he could drink until he passed out like Yohji did, or maybe he was doing it in hopes he would get so drunk that he wouldn't remember anything at all and live a few moments of his life unaffected by anything.

Sadly, the former seemed more likely and so commenced the swearing.

When the uselessness of a recently emptied bottle became to much, the redhead chucked the cursed thing aside and proceeded to form a new staring contest with the little black box in hand. It was taunting him. He was sure of it. So sure that he nearly threw the horrible little thing in the same direction that he had thrown the vodka bottle, only to catch himself mid way through the act and stop.

Pulling the precious object close to his body, he sighed. He knew he must have looked ridiculous, sitting on his own grave drunk off his ass, trying to debate on cherishing his tiny box or throwing it out like yesterday's trash. Ran hated being drunk mostly because Ran hated looking stupid. Maybe this would be a fine lesson on why he had vowed never to touch alcohol... and if it wasn't, the hang over he was going to have tomorrow sure would be.

"I hate you..." He whispered, trying very hard not to let emotion spill everywhere at once, "I hate you so much."

The line between hate and love is a thin and delicate one. Often times when someone says "hate" they mean "love". That moment for Ran was no exception - whether Ran realized that or not is an entirely different story.

At last, with more care than he had ever showed any single object before, trembling hands parted the small lid from the bottom of the box and amethyst eyes glanced at the contents.

It was indeed a ring - a simple single band, silver in appearance with writing on the out side. Something in Ran could appreciate all aspects of that. Gold often looked tacky on his pale skin and Yohji must have noted that... or maybe he just wanted to break away from the idea of getting Ran a piece of gold jewelry that would be worn 24/7. The fact that the ring was simplistic enough to not be a gender-specific ring also suited Ran's tastes. So... Yohji was a clever man after all.

Long and elegant fingers dipped inside the velvet object, pulling the thin band from its container only to find it was also connected to a long strand of silver chain. It would only make sense that Yohji would put it on a necklace. In the world of assassins, wear rings could cause a lot of problems and in the world of florists, wearing rings could cause a lot of questions. Again Ran sighed and continued to kick himself as he inspected the fine inscription written over the outside of the band.

"And Thou art Dead, as Young and Fair"

Ran's heart of ice slowly began its crumbling ruin as the words rang arduously inside of him. There probably weren't many other people who would have understood what the inscription meant but Ran knew because Yohji wanted him to know. Yohji wanted ONLY him to know.

Something akin to love sank deep into his system and opened a wound that reality burned in like salt.

The engraving was a title from a poem written by his favorite poet, a very touching poem he had nearly memorized once purely from reading it so many times. How.. how could Yohji have possibly known? How could anyone have possibly known him that well?

Aya-chan had been right. Yohji wasn't all those things Ran had vicious called him, he wasn't anything like the things he had called him. He was... he was...

"I hate you!" The redhead suddenly screamed, throwing the box at the older man's grave but keeping the ring close to his chest, "I hate you... so much..." the words were soft and defeated now, too pained with the feeling of heartbreak to be any louder. Life was cruel and Ran knew it better than anyone else did. So he sat there and cried for the first time since his parents were killed and Aya-chan was put into a coma. Once the tears started, they wouldn't stop because the dam had finally been breached, finally been taken apart and painfully torn down like it should have been long ago.

He didn't know what to do anymore. Yohji was gone, maybe even dead at this point, and it was all his fault. The first person he ever fell in love with was first person he ever purposefully betrayed and probably the first person he ever let rot away in some dark place to be forever lost. No...

No, he wasn't going to let it end like that.

Ran's back stiffened and his grip on the ring tightened. When he had ran in to Schuldig the other day, the man was using the presence tense to speak of Yohji. That meant that Yohji was still alive and alive people could be rescued. Now the only problem was figuring out how to rescue him.

"Ran-kun..." Omi's voice nearly caused the "leader" to leap out of skin and suffer from a premature stroke. When had Omi arrived and why hadn't he heard him? Lavender eyes tried to focus on the kid who was removing his helmet, but it was hard. Damn the person who invented alcohol.

"Omi?" He arched an eyebrow, just confirming what he already knew to be true.

"Hai." The kid didn't sound happy. That wasn't good.

"Why are you here?" He cleared his throat, hoping for the best.

"I was looking for you. I... I've been thinking about the things you said at Yohji-kun's wake and... I couldn't help but remember specifically what you said to Aya-chan."

He said a LOT of things to Aya-chan, Omi wasn't exactly helping his inebriated mind think clearly. "What did I say?"

"Well," The boy stepped closer and kept his cerulean eyes pinned on Ran. Oh... no. "I distinctly remember you saying that Yohji-kun looked terrible the night he died. However, I also seem to remember that the day after his death I had asked you if you had seen him. Do you remember what you said?"

"No..." He trailed off weakly.

"Exactly. You said no. Why would you lie about something like that Ran-kun?"

"Well..." Ran couldn't lie when he was sober but he REALLY couldn't lie when he was drunk. He just couldn't think of excuses... he was so fucked.

"And, " Omi went on, pushing an idea that had obviously been building, "you said something else rather interesting. When you were yelling at Aya-chan you kept asking her what would she do differently -if she thought she could bring him back. Those sort of words, Ran-kun, can make a person look awfully guilty of something."

Holy shit.

One of the bigger mistakes he had apparently made in his life was underestimating just HOW intelligent the youngest member of Weiss really was.

"Now, how about you tell me what happened before I call Manx and you can to explain it all to her."

The redhead swallowed and braced himself, for it was in that very moment that one of Ran's most ingenious ideas finally came to light.

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TBC

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**Tygrrlyli** - _YAY! It's good to see you too are alive and still readin the fic. That pleases me a lot it also pleases me that you said it was one of your favorites. Sugoi! Many hearts for you! As for turning out chapters... hmm I'm really skittish of the chapter after this one cause I can't post it on and I worry about what my audience will think bla bla bla. Ah well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see._

**AolaniDathomir** - _Ah sorry, I'm bad with the cliff hangers ;;; But as you perdicted, it's time to check in with the other kitties. We'll get back to Yohji and his sad sad situation in the next chapter . ;_

**Kikvxs** - _As you asked, I delievered more. Enjoy, na? ;_

**Weisslover27** - _Oooh good little reviewers make my heart smile. And yeah, Schu isn't an enternal fountain of patience tehehe._

**Zelda-13** - _More is here! And you're entirely accurate, he's screwed. Or will be soon enough ;_

**MikaSamu** - _Yeah, Ran has finally learned his lesson and Schu... aww poor Schu. We can't always get the things we want and SchuSchu just needs to learn that. As for the stronger side of Schu appearing, you got it ! I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can get over my nervousness of it. (spoiler: non-con makes me nervious when I'm the one writing it . )_

**Rosemarykiss** - _updating as soon as I can :) sorry about the cliffhanger!_

**Morkael** - _Yeah, you might start feeling more or less bad for Schu as the story progresses... I'm not sure how I want to play his card just yet. We'll see :D Thanks for sticking with me!_


	15. A Fate Worse Than Death

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 14: A fate worse than death

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: **R**

Warnings: **Non-consensual yaoi; swearing; other mild abuse**.

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes!**IMPORTANT**!**READ THIS FIRST**!

I'm really sorry about keeping everyone waiting for this chapter but I've been kind of nervous about posting it.. I know it has be building for a long time but still… it makes me a bit edgy for some reason. Probably because it's the first of its kind that I've written and published in a place that a lot of people will see it. Eh, who knows? Anyway…

In regards to the contents of this chapter, I wouldn't call this **too** graphic (not enough for an NC-17 rating) but it's certainly hardcore enough for a full on R rating. So! If you're not okay with Non-con and are not an appropriate age then **DO NOT** read this chapter. If you read it despite this warning, I'm not going to be held responsible for anything. ; And please… no real flames (they're just not nice).

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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The first thing that came to attention was the color orange. Bright fucking orange, the same orange that road construction workers used on their cones, work-shirts and signs. Warning signals of sorts that possible danger lay just ahead and that caution should be heeded.

It seemed in this case that the color held nearly the same connotation as the road construction signs.

Pale green eyes widened and the rest of the world came screaming back with the sudden pain of a slap across the face. The hit was hard and unforgiving but much less extreme than the victim had been expecting. When everything had gone black he was sure, if only for the briefest of moments, he was dead.

"You're really fucking something, you know that?" The words were almost too hard to understand because, as it turned out, the more enraged Schuldig got, the heavier his accent became.

Balinese squinted at his captor through the pain throbbing hot on his cheek and silently wondered if he should respond to the rhetorical question.

/If you have anything to say Kudou, say it now or I will rip it out of your fucking skull./ the threat was very real and the malevolence behind the German's mental voice was no joke either.

"A-Are you going to kill me?"

The pause alone spoke ill of the times ahead but it was the smirk painting its way across Schuldig's face that really spelt out the blond man's doom. No one could be smirked at like that and expect anything good to come of it. He was beginning to believe that if he was killed, he'd be a lucky boy.

"Not yet." A slightly tanned hand reached up and painfully gripped a fistful of golden locks -apparently Lady Luck had decided to go have a cigarette break. Useless bitch. "I have plans for you."

The second thing Yohji had noticed since his rude awakening was that fact that his hands were bound above his head by a pair of metal cuffs. Why he hadn't noticed this in the first place was something of a mystery to him. The white kitten let out a sigh before experimentally yanking against his binds to find no give in them. The sinking feeling that he was in serious trouble this time ate away at the back of Yohji's mind with no hope of any kind to save him from it. Well damn.

"Why..." Yohji was trying to buy himself time to figure a way out of the situation he had gracelessly fallen into.

"There are a lot of "whys" out there," Schuldig smiled, leaning in a little so that he was invading his pet's personal space. He loved to watch Yohji fidget uncomfortably at the close proximity of their bodies -his little struggles were ever so endearing. "You may want to be a little more specific."

"Why are you doing this to me? All of this? Why me? What have..." His heart was racing and his stomach was turning into one giant violent knot, "What have I ever done to you?" It was stupid to ask but if Schuldig would respond, it would be a precious space of time he couldn't afford to NOT have.

"Why me? Woe is me." The redhead mocked, straightening up a little and rocking back on his heels so he was perched ominously over the white assassin's chest. Any further down and he might be in trouble of getting bucked off... any further up and he was in danger of getting viciously bitten.

Once more, a twisted grin blessed Mastermind's lips. The tactical retreat plans running through his victim's head was a humorous thing indeed. While Yohji may have had a brilliant mind for mathematical calculations and problem solving, he sure as hell did some stupid ass things. Like concentrating solely on how to get out of a room when his opponent was known to be a powerful telepath.

/Stop that./

"Stop wh-" the escape plans came to a screeching halt just before an onslaught of unrefined swearing took over. The German laughed, the kitten scowled and then both parties came to silent stand still.

Yohji was resisting panic but Schuldig could tell without even reading his mind that the poor man was on the verge of hysteria. The ex-detective could just _sense_ what was about to happen, yet he refused to believe it.

"My poor poor Liebling..." A gentle hand brushed softly over a rather wounded cheek, as if it were sorry for striking it earlier, "So afraid of the inevitable..."

"Don't..." Balinese growled, sending waves of repulsion towards the mocking party. He hated sympathy but he hated mockery even more.

"I don't think you're exactly in the position to be telling ME what to do." They both knew he was right but Yohji couldn't just bend to the idea of merely surrendering to anything considered "inescapable". That was why he didn't believe in fate or destiny. He was in charge of his own life and he knew very well that there was _always_ another option. The bound man's body suddenly arched and he made a desperate play at throwing off the person half sitting on him. Unfortunately, the only thing he accomplished was pulling an irritated expression out of Schuldig's face.

"This could have all been prevented you know." Finely boned hands reached down to literally tear open Yohji's grey button-up shirt with little remorse to the damage done to the material. The sound of the fabric ripping made the owner's heart leap into his throat while he slowly began to yield to his own frantic horror. No... this couldn't be happening... not to him...

"But it is." The redhead smiled a cruel and daunting smile, raking his fingernails down a nearly perfect chest and leaving angry red trails of pain in his wake. The blond growled in response and was rather successfully ignored, "You couldn't have just made it easy on yourself and given up on that Abyssinian bastard, could you?"

Balinese wasn't listening anymore, he was too busy violently trying to kick and struggle his way out of the current situation. Metal cuffs scrapped against mental bars and left the sound of something equivalent to nails on a chalkboard floating in the air. Why was this happening to him?

"All you had to do was forget about him and this would have been so much easier.."

The loops of steel started biting their way into the sweating wrists with every fruitless struggle against them. If Schuldig was still talking, the words were falling on deaf ears. Not that Schuldig cared at this point either. Maybe if he got too tired of not being heard, he'd push his thoughts viciously into his partner's brain and MAKE himself be heard. However, for now, he was content with the way things were.

That is, until Yohji managed to throw his enemy off balance when he caught site of hands reaching for the buttons on his jeans. The poor white assassin was snared between the concept of laughing or screaming, which forced a strange mix of sounds to leave his throat as he fended off his attacker. He wanted to deny it was happening; he wanted to pretend it was merely a joke being played on him for the humor of a hidden audience but he simply couldn't do it. The younger of the two just couldn't delude himself enough to believe that sort of thing. At least not when the horror of reality could be prevented if he just kept...

Pain. Brilliant white pain followed by spots of color danced around Yohji's mind and for a moment he was too stunned to do anything. Paralyzed by the unbelievable jolt of agony to the head, not caused by a physical slap but by... a mental slap?

"That..." Schuldig growled between clenched teeth, "Was only a small sample of what I can do, precious. So be good and try not to cause me too much trouble, hm?" Yohji still wasn't listening but lucky for him, the German still didn't care. Jeans were ripped off the lanky body like the layer of protective underwear and, in a matter of minutes, all that was left was the bare trembling body of an individual too confused to move.

Beautiful horror mapped its way across Yohji's expressions and Mastermind merely chuckled as his hands traced their way over the body so elegantly displayed before him. The response was a hiss and a very faint flinch before those jade eyes grew wider to stare at him in disbelief.

"You want to know why I'm doing this?" The questioning man watched as the other merely made a small noise, signifying a "yes" in the telepath's mind.

"I'm doing this because I can. Because you're my property now that your "beloved" Ran has given you so freely to me. Kind of makes me wonder if it ever crossed his mind that this might happen to you -that you would suffer so greatly for him and his little sister."

Balinese was wincing at the feeling of Schuldig's hands suddenly taking a tight hold upon his hair but he was also wincing against the words tearing up his heart. He didn't blame Ran... he really didn't. How could he? Aya-chan was…

"You're a fucking bleeding heart, you know that?" The German accent was getting thicker and one could only guess that it was simply a matter of time before the man gave up on speaking Japanese all together. "But I suppose it doesn't matter anymore because you're never going to have to deal with him or any of them ever again." A sickly soft expression touched Schuldig's face, further confusing Yohji with a mix of twisting gnarled emotions.

"You're fucking nuts." The blond laughed, tears threatening to spill as he realized there was no way out of this.

Again, strong hands clawed at his body wordlessly and angry bitter words turned into screaming, sobbing and panic when the victim's fears became concrete and he honestly recognized his pathetic fate. He couldn't stop it. He could only watch and pretend his struggles were helping. When had he become so helpless and weak? When had he acceded to... this?

Life... Life wasn't fair.

"Please don't..." Tears were finally streaming down the white killer's face as he gave up his useless fighting and melted his struggles into the simple pleas of a desperate man.

"Shhhh." Schuldig placed the tips of his fingers over quivering lips and smiled sweetly into the face of a man who was breaking before him. He had lied when he said Yohji was beautiful when he cried. Yohji wasn't beautiful in that moment; he was breath taking. So human - vulnerable and delirious with fear, it was delectable.

Somewhere in their skirmish, the white button shirt Schu usually wore had come undone - the yellow bandana and sunglasses lost to a different part of the room and that cocky grin had faded into a sinister smile. Dark blue-green eyes glowed with thoughts of possibilities as the hunter stared down at his caught and dying prey. Perfection was just a breath away.

Reaching over his pet, the German tugged at a drawer of the nightstand and produced a small vile that Balinese hadn't taken the time to notice before. It was either oil or hand cream or lubrication of sorts but Yohji couldn't tell because Yohji didn't want to know. He didn't want any of this to be happening in the first place, let alone acknowledge it was happening enough to tell what kind of lube Schuldig was going to use.

A small amount was spilled over needing flesh before the bottle took a nosedive to the ground and the older man braced himself over his terrified companion. Poor Yohji, after all the sexual experience he had in his life, this was going to be his first real time with a man as a man. Schuldig knew this because Schuldig had spent many hours shuffling through his little kitten's mind. He had wanted to know all there was to know about Yohji, straight down to the details of his sexual experience. To which, he noted, was extensive.

No matter, it was all frivolous information at this point anyway.

"Please..." The other's voice brought Schuldig back down to reality, back to the task at hand. He must have spaced when he reached down to bite and suck at a tender spot on his playmate's neck. Marking territory was essential when you were a territorial beast.

"If you relax it'll be easier." And before Balinese got another chance to beg, Mastermind pushed on with what he was doing. The screams were thrilling, the sobs were bliss and all he could think about was how he wanted more.

Rough fingers pressed into shaking thighs hard enough to leave bruises as the redhead positioned himself to keep a steady rhythm. He hadn't taken the time to stretch his partner and soon enough, blood was aiding in to the means of lubrication. It was sick but he was loving it -the feel of warm skin against skin, touching in such an intimate manner while causing thick pleasure to build up inside his body. Time moved slowly for both parties, drawn out like someone hit the slow motion button on the TV of life. For one side, this event was nothing more than an unforgiving nightmare, for the other... it was ecstasy.

The telepath hunched over his cherished plaything and dipped deep into the mind that seemed to be short-circuiting. It wasn't dealing with the trauma being caused and it was beginning to withdrawal to another place and another time. Well, there would be none of that on Schuldig's watch. So, with ease, the redhead reached out with his own mind and pulled his victim in closer - making the nearly hysterical mind face the facts and deal with the situation as it was being dealt to it. Yohji was being forced into the here and now, no escape for him... he was going to be stuck with reality even if it killed him... literally.

"It hurts..." the other cried faintly, his tears merely seasoning the moment as his nails dug vicious little crescent shaped wounds into the palms of his hands.

"Relax..." The German murmured, though he made no effort to stop or ease the discomfort. He loved Yohji's pain, he loved the look it gave those pretty jade eyes - the tears it caused. He loved the way the smaller of the two appeared so broken under his ministrations. Such beautiful perfection... everything... everything was perfect.

Lips softly brushed the forehead of the crying soul before white-hot rhapsody finally crashed over the cause of all this suffering. A low guttural moan elicited itself from behind parted lips and the movement stopped -everything stilled. At least one of them was at peace. And when it was all over, Schuldig pulled out and panted slightly before attempting to adjust to the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm. For the first time in a long time, satisfaction was prevalent inside his twisted existence.

"_So beautiful_..." He lazily spoke in German, reaching down to gently brush aside strands of his companion's hair with the false sense of compassion sweeping over his expressions.

Yohji wanted to scream, or vomit, or murder or… maybe just die. He wanted to do _something_ other than stare up at the face of the man who had made his life a living hell in a matter of days, but he was drained. He felt intensely tired and he longed to just pass out and never wake up. Too bad his mind was alive and excruciatingly active, refusing to do anything but work at high speeds and bother him into staying conscious.

As Balinese's tormentor finally gave in to the signs of grogginess he was displaying, the man laid down beside his still trembling victim and yawned. One arm casually drifting over the bound man's chest as a kiss placed itself softly against the same man's cheek. Such a taunting action.

"Do you want to sleep now?"

Yohji nodded for lack of being able to speak. His voice would have betrayed him more than his tears already had.

"Then sleep."

And once again, Yohji's world went black. But, this time, he prayed it would stay that way.

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TBC

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**Weisslover27** - _Weiss WILL come to the rescue but unfortunately not yet. ;; Thank you again for sticking with me!_

**AolaniDathomir** - _I thought Ran drinking was pretty funny, glad you felt it fitting. And thank god for Omi, he will make sure that Yohji gets rescued... eventually. Don't worry though, this story wont have a depressing ending ;;;_

**Bloodredroses1**- _You've made me so very happy. I couldn't even begin to tell you how much your review cheered me up, thank you very much for writing it and thank you for reading the story. You have my eternal gratitude 3! No worries, I DO have 15 chapters finished and corrected (for the most part) so you'll at least get that far. Chapter 16 is in the making so we'll see how far I get from there lol. Please stick with me, I'd enjoy that a lot and thank you again for reviewing!_

**ShinigamiSeiji** - _Sorry for the wait! The next chapter wont take as long as this chapter has, gomen! Glad you like possessive Schuldig cause that how I like him too X)_

**Skippys Cat** - _O.O! You wouldn't happen to be playing Yohji and Omi and Nagi in the_ ST rp yahoo group _would you? Cause that would be pretty amusing to me, seeing as how I'm the one playing Ran in that game. Lol If not, oh well. Thank you for reading and reviewing and I'm really glad to hear you're looking forward to reading more. Much luv for you!_

**MikaSamu** - _Arigatou! I loved drunk Ran too cackles you'll get to see more of him and Omi in the next chapter. Oh! Ken makes an appearance too but who cares, ne? Lol jk._

**Rosemarykiss**- _More updates soon! And you're right, this chapter was the climax... or maybe not... o.o!_

**Darkness Eternal**_ - Thanks and I'll update as soon as I can!_


	16. Plan B

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 13: Plan B

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing and reference to Non-con)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _HAHAHAH I'm **BACK**! Did anyone miss me? I went to Anime Expo and guess who I cosplayed as part of the time? If you guessed Yohji, you're 100 correct! XD So much fun! Was anyone interested in seeing pictures :D_

('bla bla bla') _communication via sign language._ _Omi's a great kid, I heart him lots._

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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"Come again?" Omi questioned, eyes coldly locked upon the redhead who stared back at him with something rather suspicious bubbling inside those pools of amethyst.

"You have to help me find him. "

The younger boy shifted slightly and kept his eyes narrowed, arms crossed and tension floating around him in a thick and nearly visible haze. He was absolutely livid and plots of homicide were clearly running through the gears inside his head. Ran was sure that if it weren't for the fact that he was the key to the situation, Bombay would have taken it upon himself to single handedly execute his sempai.

"You left him in the hands of Schuldig, how do you even know if he's alive or not, Ran." The words were meant to hurt from an anger sharper than broken glass.

"I ran into Schuldig the other day..."

"What?" The kid was obviously caught off guard a little, "So now you're having leisurely rendezvous with the enemy as well?"

Ran swore under his breath and straightened a little, wishing the alcohol would just burn off already. He was tired of being intoxicated.

"No! When I was out grocery shopping, he was there. It was by chance that we ran into each other and..." Ran felt as frustrated as he looked, red in the face from embarrassment, anger and liquor.

"And what?" Bombay snapped, having no patience for his teammate's inebriated tale.

"And he started talking about Yohji." Omi gave him a blank look that clearly stated his thoughts. The kid hadn't made the "logical" leap of assumption, which meant Ran was going to have to fill in the blanks. Or at least attempt to. Explaining things was jumbling his thoughts and causing his head to hurt. Ran decided that he was never going to touch a drop of alcohol again.

"He was talking in the present tense. He referred to Yohji as being alive and he... seemed very intent on keeping him alive."

The blond arched an eyebrow at that, "What makes you say that?"

"He likes Yohji."

"Liking someone doesn't ensure their existence, Ran."

Ran sighed very quietly to himself, he didn't have the heart to fully explain it to the kid. He didn't want to disgrace Yohji by telling Bombay that Mastermind was out there fucking their teammate senseless and probably had every intent to do so for some time to come. At least until he got bored of Balinese, which was exactly why they had to hurry up and find him.

"Please, trust me..." Ran damn well knew he was asking for a lot just then. Especially after he got done telling his superior that he already betrayed his own team. "Schuldig is going to keep him around for a little while longer but however long that is... I don't know. That's why we have to hurry, that's why I need your help. Get revenge on me later for this but for now, let's just focus on finding Yohji."

Whether it was the sincere look on Abyssinian's face, the truth in his words or the sheer hopelessness of the situation, Omi gave. It was apparent in the way his shoulder's dropped and a bit of the edge was taken off his stern features. He wasn't going to kill Ran, at least not today.

"Fine. You said you ran into him at the grocery store? Was he shopping or just there?"

Ran closed his eyes and did his best to recall the events of that day. He felt sick again. "He was shopping... and surprised to see me."

"So that means if he was shopping he must be staying near by..."

The redhead silently thanked the gods for blessing Omi with a brilliant mind.

"I'm going to start a search on the buildings within walking distance of this area. I'll see if I can find any apartments that have been recently leased out. From there we're going to start surveillance work. I'll get Ken to-" The younger boy paused when he noticed the sober look slap across his teammate's face. Oh... that was going to be a problem.

"Relax." Omi frowned, glancing towards his motorcycle still parked at the gate. "For now, most of this will be kept between you and I. Once we have Yohji-kun back, I'll decide on a proper punishment. It simply wont due to have Ken or anyone else trying to kill you when you're the only one who has any kind of contact with Schuldig. "

Ran wasn't exactly sure whether or not to be relieved. He was grateful that Omi was intent on helping him fix his mistake AND keep his secret (for now) but he couldn't quit shake the impending doom looming over his head. He was fucked, he knew it but... he deserved it.

"Sober up then meet me back at the Koneko. If you're not there in an hour then I won't hesitate to tell Manx and the others what has really been going on. Do I make myself clear?"

Nodding, Ran stood up and prayed for a fast recovery. An hour wasn't going to be enough time to fully sober up and drive his sorry ass back to the flower shop but he wasn't about to argue with the angry teenager before him. He simply didn't have THAT much of a death wish.

"Good. I'll see you in an hour." With that said, the real leader of Weiss turned upon his heel and stormed back to his bike in silence.

In spite of the fact that his future was starting to look bleak, Ran couldn't help but feel a strange sense of relief wash over him. They were going to get Yohji back. Omi wouldn't let him or anyone else rest until then, and that was something of a comforting thought.

The sounds of a motorcycle being forced into motion broke up the thickened silence of the air in the graveyard, causing Ran to jump a little. He had less than an hour to sober up, drive home and prepare himself for one hell of a long day with no sleep and little to no sympathy for it. Omi was going to be the perfect ruthless driving force that Ran knew he could be, and he'd be damned twice over if said he wasn't grateful for it.

Interestingly enough, Ken had been awake when Omi came storming in through the garage door swearing up a storm that would put any sailor to shame. Since the notice of Yohji's death reached his ears, the soccer player had developed an acute form of insomnia. It was like his body insisted on staying up until it heard the familiar sounds of a certain playboy sauntering into the koneko singing a rather obnoxious American song (off key) at some ungodly hour of the morning.

Ken supposed it was his way of dealing with the grief and that it would take time to adjust to the silence. However, for now he conceded to staying up late and watching old movies that he and Yohji had often made fun of when they were stuck at home with nothing better to do. He was really going to miss doing that. He was really going to miss Yohji.

Nothing was going to be the same without him ever again.

Sure, they could get a new teammate and sure they could form a new functioning team but no one could ever replace that lazy blond man or the hole he left behind in his place. The grief was so intense that the brunette honestly had to wonder if there was ever a "getting over it". If the pain ever ended and the healing ever began. Loosing Keskei hadn't hurt this bad so why Yohji? Of all people he had lost before, why was Yohji's death the most painful?

Maybe it was because Yohji, like Omi, had been through hell and back with him. Had been one of the people to piece his cracking mind back together and held him safe inside sanity when dementia was leaking through his barriers. Who knew? There were so many questions that went unanswered...

... one of them being where the hell had Omi gone and why was he just NOW coming back in a fit of rage?

"Om-" Ken started, only to stop when the younger of the two glared daggers at him. Woah. What was HE so worked up about?

"Oi! Sorry Ken-kun, I went out for a drive to... work off some of my stress." That was when Bombay started hand signing to his partner.('Meet me in my room.')

Ken arched an eyebrow, "Perhaps you should lay down." ('Why?')

"That, would be nice. Could... you come with me? I don't feel well and I might need help up the stairs or something." ('It's not safe here. People might be listening')

"Sure thing Chibi." ('Bugs?')

The kid nodded and said nothing more as he headed for the stairs. Feeling more than a little unnerved by the conversation, the jock followed his leader up the stairs and into the sanctuary of the kid's bedroom. Omi's room was probably the safest room in the whole building. Safe from bugs, safe from intruders, safe from... well, just about any other man-caused problem short of the building collapsing. And even then...

"What's going on? What are we not sharing with our friends at Kritiker?" Something defiantly wasn't right, Omi was very pro-kritiker so whatever was wrong had to be serious.

"Ken, sit down." The soccer player looked Omi for a long moment and did as he was told, saying nothing as the small blond took in a deep breath and look him straight in the eye.

"Aya and I have good reason to believe that Yohji is still alive."

Ken blinked twice.

What. The. Hell.

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TBC

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**Zelda-13** - _Oh thank you, I'm glad people liked this and weren't too thrown off by it. That was my main concern and ummm I'll try not to make you cry _

**Forsaken** - _Thank you! That chapter sat for a long time and marinated in my computer so I was hopping it would be as good as the rest, glad I didn't disappoint._

**Tygrrlyli** - _Yeah, Schu isn't exactly the most patient of people so I'm surprised he held out as long as he did too. And thank you, I tried to make the whole thing as fairly realistic as I could so... there wont be any "Omg I love despite what you've done!" bull. In fact, it may take Yohji a while to get over this but then again... hmmm we'll see. Much stuff still to come._

**Jukeboxcsi** - _Ummm I'm not sure that Schu is the regretting type but we'll see how his character plays out. Sorry I've been so slow with posting, I'll try to pick up the pace. _

**Skippys Cat** - _YAY! It IS you! You know... I really want to write a SchuxYohji piece simply cause I secretly love that pairing a lot but merrr.. I don't know if this fic is going to turn in that direction but... who knows! I don't even know how long this piece is going to be so we'll see what happens. _

**Moon without a Sun** - _I know! Poor Yohji, I just wanna hug him o.o;_

**Darkness Eternal** - _Thank you! It was a difficult balance to not gloss over or pick on certain details but it appears as if I did it alright. Much to my reielf I must say lol_

**Rosemarykiss** - _I know but it'll get better :) Promise._

**Heta Noitio** - _Much love for you! Thank you for reviewing so in depth, I sincerely appreciate it. And while I love all my reviews and reviewers, I have a special place of adoration for those who go into detail. So, in other words, thank you, thank you and thank you some more! Also, I'll tell Nix you enjoyed her Aya-chan. We were both rather pleased with the way she came out cause normally, I don't like the use of her in fics either. However for this story, she was needed and probably will be needed in the future. We'll see. Thanks again for reviewing!_


	17. A Change of Heart

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 16: A Change of Heart

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly) 

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _Damn it has taken me a long time to throw something out. I'm not sure why, this story is still fresh in my mind… I guess I'm just having a writer's block. I mean, I know where I want to go with the story, I just don't know how to get there. Ah well, hopefully I'll get over it soon because this story still has a lot of chapters to come._

Thanks to: **(see below)**

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Long before lips touched or bodies caressed, an addiction was born.

An addiction that fed on fantasies, desire and pure unbridled lust, all of which were brought to life by Yohji's very presence and the simple inhale and exhale of a breath. Long before a name was even known, an intoxicating obsession ran deep because Balinese was (and always had been) an irresistible, unquenchable drug. His existence made you crave for just a touch and when you got it, it was never enough.

The redhead groaned a little and tilted his head to one side as he observed his sleeping fixation, running a hand over a patch of freshly marked skin the bore his signature loud and clear. A smile twisted its way upon his lips and Schuldig realized he was suffering a deadly case of substance abuse like few had ever suffered before and, surely, it was going to mean the death of... someone. Yohji tossed again and the telepath shifted, keeping his mind lightly skimming the blonde's thoughts as he sucked up all the raw emotions that leaked out from the other's cracked mind.

Like despair.

Despair was such an interesting emotion. When you found yourself trapped in the depths of its embrace, there is little you see other than "the cause" and little you can do to pull yourself out of it. Love worked like that, but so did hate. The three were all-consuming emotions that one person should never have to suffer all at once.

Locked inside his own mind, Balinese was wallowing in a particularly horrible mix of the three. Love for Ran, Hate for Schuldig and despair for... himself. The sinking feeling that he was never going to see his teammates (or Aya-chan) again was weighing down heavily upon his already broken heart and causing nothing but grief to his already suffering mind.

Yohji's little piece of imagined heaven was finally turning to dust.

But that was the way things were supposed to be, weren't they? Karma serving justice to those who deserved it, like the white and black assassins of the night. Sort of the universe's way of balancing itself out again, albeit to no one's benefit.

"Schuldig."

The German flinched and glanced over to the doorway where a shadow of a man stood. Dark and looming, Crawford glared with a rather disapproving look -one that expressed how perturbed he really was. What could he _possibly_ want now?

"It's time."

Schuldig blinked. "What?"

"We're leaving, it's time to go."

The telepath blinked again and strained to understand what the hell his leader was talking about. Brad Crawford... predictably unpredictable. Throwing out half orders with no explanation, only pure expectation of a completion without the reason why.

"Go _where_ Brad?"

Crawford hated being called Brad and the annoyance written on his face managed to double itself, "Out -don't question me. Just grab your wallet and meet me at the front door. You have exactly two minutes."

"But what about-"

"Leave him."

Schuldig glared at the departing figure once more before letting out a low sigh. Brad was an asshole.

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The blond felt his consciousness begin to stir him awake so he turned and buried himself further into the depths of his pillow, attempting to chase away the bothersome thoughts that always followed his state of wakefulness. He did this routinely, every morning, and it _still_ had yet to work. So, after a moment more of struggle, Yohji finally gave in and let his mind drifted back to a familiar place that it constantly dwelled in -thoughts of Aya. 

Yohji hadn't always been in love with Aya, in fact, the idea of "love" and "Aya" being related was somewhat a recent development. The ex-PI of today would have liked to believe it was dumb-struck-love-at-first-site, however, that was not the case. You see, in honesty, the first thing Yohji had thought of when he saw the redhead sprawled out on the flower shop floor was that the kid had _better_ be conscious enough tomorrow to clean up his own mess. That initial thought was followed by a more curious one of why on earth Omi had just LEFT him there and not mother-henned him, but during all that random thinking not _once_ had the notion of love come to mind.

Nothing even _akin_ to love had surfaced until the older assassin had grumbled slightly and leaned down to look at the dirt-smudged and faintly bruised face of the new guy, deciding (quit randomly) that the kid was beautiful. Not just your typical "He/She looks nice, I wouldn't mind sleeping with them" but more along the lines of "Wow. I have to take a second look because... wow." Yeah, defiantly a head turner with hair and looks like that. What a pity all that good breeding had to fall into the body of a man. Alas, such a tragic waste.

After shaking off the sketchy thoughts and a little internal debate, Balinese had picked up his new teammate and dragged said teammate up to his own room, depositing him upon the bed with only a little strain involved. It was horrible of him to admit it but had Aya looked more like Trucker-Joe and less like the breath-taking creature he was, Aya would have woken up on the Koneko floor amongst the dirt and mess. Yohji's bed was only meant for the things he found attractive -be it bed covers, sheets, pillows or people.

A quick teammate-patch-up-job later and the oldest member of Weiss was priding himself on a job well done. Aya matched his favorite pillow, everything was going to be fine. And upon retrospect, it was in that very moment that the first wave of lust for another man actually sunk in. True, Yohji had found some guys attractive before but not like this. This was... foreign, intense, and it disturbed him to the core.

Thank god the kid had a piss-poor attitude or else Yohji might have indulged himself upon the newest recruitment before either of them could think to say no.

And after a couple of weeks of living with said kid, who possessed the piss poor attitude, the playboy decided his sudden flair of insanity (read: attraction to Aya) was nothing more than a slightly intoxicated fluke which would never reciprocate itself in him again.

No, Instead a different intense emotion consumed him. Hate.

By the time a year had gone by, Yohji was sure he hated Aya. The other man was a cold-hearted selfish bastard whose beautiful looks were _hardly_ a redeeming factor. Abyssinian may have been a head turner but the residual "snap" that came with the "sudden turn" was something Balinese just didn't need to deal with. What made matters worse, or better depending on how you look at it, Aya apparently found a special kind of spite for Yohji too.

Who knows what possessed the kid to do it but something had pushed him into holding a grudge against his senior assassin with no base or reason for it. The whole ordeal was ludicrous and at some point Balinese figured that Aya actually _had_ to go out of his way in order to piss him off. You see, past the first fight with Ken, Aya had never HIT any of his teammates... besides Yohji. Aya had never hunted down and verbally chewed anyone out... besides Yohji. Aya had never even bothered to inquire/pick on anyone else's _personal life_... besides Yohji.

And in Yohji's opinion, Aya was a dick.

Yet, SOMEHOW (and it really WAS beyond him how this came to be), the hate that had developed for the ice princess got lost along the way to ultimate intensity and wound up on the other end of the spectrum, thoroughly confusing the heart that hosted it. Oh grant it, both the emotions were intense emotions but how the hell his ultimate hate had turned into ultimate love was simply a mystery. It wasn't like there was any specific moment that it happened... it just did and, sadly, it was from that point on that Yohji knew, truly truly knew, he was fucked.

Who the hell fell in love with their unspoken enemy anyway?

Green eyes finally opened when the body reached a state of full awareness and the first thing Yohji noticed upon his waking was the dead silence around him.

The second thing he noticed was his room...

and how it was completely empty.

* * *

TBC

* * *

**Sywren – THANK YOU!**

**Tygrrlyli -** _Omi is great, I like writing him. He's so smart and well defined, a good counter to the other characters who keep tripping on their own feet lol._

**Zelda-13 -** _I'll try not to make you cry though there ARE sad parts ahead, I plan to end this story on a happy note so never fear:D_

**Skippys Cat -** _Yeah, Yohji is going to need some serious help when they get him back but it wont be as easy as some may think. Yohji isn't exactly the type of person to show how wounded he really is . Oro.. did that count as a spoiler? lol_

**Rosemarykiss -** _Hai! I plan on keeping them as involved as I can because... I like the kids they're convenient to have around lol._

**Moon without a Sun- **_I rocks? WOOT! XD That excites me lol. I'll keep it up as much as I can, thank you!_


	18. Lost and Found

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 17: Lost and Found

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _**I don't think I like the way this chapter came out.** At all. It just doesn't seem to fit with the others or mesh well with my usual writing style. My deepest apologies if it's total crap. _

You see, this chapter was particularly painful to write and maybe it's just because it's so Ken-centric and I'm not used to writing Ken but... who knows? Oh! (More bellow…)

Thanks to: **(see below)**

**

* * *

**

Ken blinked. "Eh?"

"We think Schwartz kidnapped Yohji and faked his death." The soccer player blinked once more and Omi could just SEE the information slowly processing through the older man's internal hard drive.

"Why would-"

"-I don't _know_. Aya -I mean Ran... bumped into Mastermind while he was out the other day and that fucking German gave him reason enough to believe that Yohji was still alive and in his possession."

Ken arched an eyebrow at little Omi's swearing. It'd actually be kind of cute if it wasn't so disturbing --like Hello Kitty® with a nine-inch blade…

"So why keep all this from Kritker?" Ah, Siberian found the flaw in Bombay's flow of logic.

"Kritiker would no doubt think we were suffering from delusions of grief and would probably quarantine us for our "own safety". We don't have TIME to be quarantined. If Schwartz really _does_ have Yohji then we have to act fast before they do any real damage to him."

Ken nodded, "So what do you want _me_ to do?"

"Start making some coffee."

And once more, the brunette stared blankly. How was coffee gonna-

"The coffee is for ME, Ken-kun."

"Oh." The jock glanced towards the door, "With or without cream?"

"Without."

* * *

There was something morbidly interesting about watching fellow assassins pace a room with the thickest intent of homicide on their minds -and not just homicide directed at the enemy either. Between Omi and Ran existed a nearly tangible thread of unease, aggravation and distrust. 

To anyone with working senses it became fairly obvious that they were hiding something of great proportions -even _Ken_ had noticed, though he did not question it. Not from a lack of wanting to know, mind you, but more from a lack of an opportune moment. Or rather, the fact that Aya-chan was sitting right next to him wondering the same thing he was. What the _hell_ was going on?

"Ken-kun." Aya-chan whispered, prodding the brunette in his ribs with a single finger.

"What?"

"Why are they... doing that?"

"Doing what?" Ken attempted to give the best innocent façade he knew how to -which wouldn't have fooled a three-year-old. The man just wasn't good at feigning ignorance... or anything for that matter. If he knew something, it showed. If he didn't... well, it _showed_ and in that aspect, Ken was a simple man. To no one's surprise, Aya-chan just happened to find that a very respectable trait... if not an exceedingly handy one in this particular situation.

"Don't play dumb, why are they pacing like that?" Her whisper had grown impatient as she showed signs of losing her cool already. Since Yohji's alleged death Aya-chan had become a little snappier with them all -Ken figured that maybe "anger" was just the way a Fujimiya dealt with death. Lord knows Ran had enough anger for them all...

"Something came up and they're trying to fix it." The assassin offered, only to have his offer met with a look that did not bode well for his existence.

"_Aya-chan_."

"Hai?" The girl's dark blue eyes drifted Ken to Ran, sparkling with small traces of her own aggravation. To her, it seemed as if life had gone on a completely nonsensical route in the matter of a week, and it was all thanks to the worker bees of the Koneko. The boys had (for some reason) decided to close the shop and spend all their time down in the basement working on some classified project that she didn't get to be apart of. It was like grade school all over again - complete with dumb boys and their secret clubs that clearly stated: No girls allowed.

"Don't you have study group to be at?" Evidently _Ran_ had been elected vice president of the "boys only" clique.

"You're such a jerk, Ni-san!" Aya-chan hissed, rising to her feet in order to march herself away from the card-holding blockheads of the stinky boy's club.

A small pause and a collective blink later, the apparent offenders watched their female companion storm up the stairs and out of the room with no base for her words or anger. What the...?

"Did she really just-"

"-Not now Ken-kun."

"Well……fine then."

And as if nothing had just interrupted them, Omi and Ran continued their pacing (or rather, their circling of each other like a pair of canines trapped in an illegal dogfight) while Ken resumed his watching of them –taking bets against himself to see who would drop first. They were all restless, running on only caffeine and sheer will to help them through the days - it was a miracle they hadn't already killed each other. What with Yohji becoming harder and harder to locate.

Ken slumped further into his seat and sighed once more -hating the grim outlook on their predicament. Why did it seem like each try they gave, a bigger let down would follow? Shifting in his place, the brunette started to wonder if Schuldig hadn't just lied to Ran about holding Yohji hostage. If maybe he was, in fact, simply toying with them to get them worked up over nothing.

If maybe…Yohji really _was_-

"--KEN!" the assassin snapped out of his musings with a start.

"_What_?"

"Can you get the phone?"

On cue, said phone reported itself again -causing Ken jump to his feet, run up the stairs and into the shop before picking up the receiver without even the slightest indication of forced effort. Normal people may have been out of breath by the time they finished what Ken had just done but Hidaka was a fantastically exquisite and marvelously well-trained professional. Not so easily winded by the normal --

"Hello! Thank you for calling Koneko sume ie -this is Hidika Ken speaking, how may I help you?" A long pause on the other end answered the greeting and for a fraction of a second Ken wasn't sure if it was a prank call or not. The caller's breathing was heavily steady and it almost seemed as if they hadn't heard him or… maybe they were just waiting for the right moment to--

"Hello?" Ken prompted again, half hoping it _was_ some punk kid he could swear at for a few minutes as a form of stress relief. God knows how he'd _love_ to just chew an unsuspecting kid a new--

"Central Metropolitan Tower. Apartment 1010 D." And then the line was dead.

"_Hello_?" Ken drew his eyebrows together in frustration. What the hell was -wait. That voice! He KNEW that voice from... somewhere.

Searching his mind for a brief second, Siberian wrote down the address only stare at the paper and the writing scrawled across it. That particular building wasn't terribly far from the Koneko but... why would someone just call and give him the address to--

"OMI!" Ken burst into motion -dashing back down the metal stairs at an alarming rate while making his way towards the location that the youngest and second oldest members of Weiss were brooding in last. "OMI! OMI! RAN!" Both heads snapped to attention at the shouting, tensed by the noise and apprehension in Ken's voice.

"**What**?" Bombay chided, having no time for interruption games.

"I found Yohji!"

Silence.

"Excuse me?"

"I. _Found._ Yohji."

TBC

* * *

**AN (continued):** I know that not a whole lot happened in this chapter and I'm sorry that I made you wait for so long just to come to this chapter and have to wait again. But don't fear, the next chapter will be a little more productive than this and since it's mostly done… it shouldn't take me THAT long to bloody look it over, finish it and send it to my beta reader. Thanks again to all of those who have stuck with me this far, you guys are awesome! And now that the general apology and thank you are over… on to the personal thank yous… and apologies. Lol

**ShinigamiSeiji -** _Oh you know, I'm trying to work on producing these chapters faster but life constantly gets in the way . I barely see my computer and when I do... I'm so tired that I can only manage to check my mail before passing out. Pretty lame huh? lol_

**AolaniDathomir** - _Oh, I DID fall off the map but I somehow found my way back in time to post lol. I'm glad to hear you like my style and I'm sorry if this latest chapter discredits me any . It's not my best work. At all, in fact. ah well, I'll still keep writing as much as I can until I feel the story is finished._

**Sky Rat** - _Lol Farf was actually a mesh of ideas between Nix ( **PinkWhirlWind** ) and myself over dinner. She should get more credit than me for the way he's written ;;; but thanks all the same_.

**Sira** - _Oh dear, i'm sorry I'm not very speedy with updates. I try to be but I have a lot on my plate right now, thanks for being patient and continuing to read off and on anyway. I really appreciate it._

**moimoi-chan** - _No worries! Next chapter he will be rescued... sorta lol XD_

**Skippys Cat** - _Oh you know you love teasers XD! Ummm as I told everyone else, I'll pump these out as best I can but between sitting through ten hour photo shoots, working on my online comic and everything else... it gets harder and harder to be speedy. No worries though, if nothing else I have every intent on finishing it so you can rest easy knowing that much, ne? lol_

**Rosemarykiss** - _If you think he's a mess now, wait until later . ;_

**UkeEiri** - _Much luv for you yay for Weiss Cosplay!_- 

**Moon without a Sun** - _Wooot! Update XD! I heart you too :D! I'm so happy to hear this is your favorite story so far, it really encourages me to continue this as much as I can._

**RosaleenDhu** - _You know, it's truly an honor to know that you find this an addicting story. I'm a rather big fan of your work so I feel extremely complimented to know that you like TDTOYL, so… thank you. As for the errors... I should probably go back and fix them at some point but I have the hardest time finding them. I have a beta reader but apparently she doesn't catch the mistakes either, which leaves me at somewhat of a disadvantage. I'll try to keep a closer eye the chapters as they come and thank you again for reading and enjoying._


	19. A Little Too Easy

**To Destroy the One You Love**

Chapter 18: A Little Too Easy

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing.

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: _**Work eats my soul. **I'm surprised I get to post this as soon as I do. Honestly, between commissioned art, photo shoots, trip planning, out of town guests, my day job and various other responsibilities… I don't know where I found the time. Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter THAT much because it's done. I'm just worried it might be a bit of a wait before I can get the next chapter finished. Oh well, I guess we'll see how everything turns out later, ne?_

Thanks to: (see below)

* * *

Abyssinian paused, took in a deep breath and for a second he touched his chest -touched the ring that laid cold against his skin through layers of clothing he wore. It seemed like no matter how the temperature in his body rose the ring never heated, never grew warm… never allowed him to forget the fact that it was there.

Though it was probably just his imagination -the truth of the matter remained; the ring was still cold and ever still a consistent reminder that somewhere in the building looming above them lay Yohji. Perhaps dead... or worse.

This was his fault, all his fault, and if Yohji was suffering...

"Abyssinian!" Bombay's voice rang clear through his ear peace, exasperation sinking into his system faster than the poison which tipped the edge of the young assassin's darts.

"In position." the stoic "leader" responded, bracing himself as he waited for the others to give him the "go ahead".

"Siberian in position, all systems go."

"Then we're green. Proceed with extreme caution and keep all lines open until we reach the rendezvous point."

Who ever had thought that Aya was the leader of Weiss must have been sincerely delusional.

In the beginning, Abyssinian had barked out field orders for lack of anyone else doing so but in the later days of Weiss, Omi had finally taken over as both tactical and field leader. He was more fit for the job anyway. More dedicated to Weiss... more loyal than any other living member of their company, save Manx and Birman.

With permission to move forward the redhead stealthily ghosted through the building, quietly making his way towards the upper floors. As it turned out, the building that the caller had directed them towards was a relatively normal upper class apartment complex. The caller himself, on the other hand, was anything BUT normal. From what Ken had depicted, the voice sounded suspiciously like the American bastard of Schwartz and both Omi and Ran had little reason to doubt otherwise.

Unfortunately with _that_ information under their belts, Weiss was alerted into thinking that perhaps the whole "Yohji is alive" fiasco may have been nothing more than an elaborate set up. Why else would they go through the trouble of kidnapping Yohji only to return him without any problems or questions asked? However, after doing a search of the building in more ways than thought possible, Omi and the other boys came up empty handed. The apartment complex was clear -seeming to be your run of the mill place that, even under a more thorough inspection, had not proved to be otherwise.

But if it wasn't a trap... then what in the hell was _really_ going on?

Siberian reached room number 1010 first -automatically inspecting the door for triggers of any sort, so by the time Omi and Aya had arrived on the scene, Ken had concluded that no trips on the main door had been set. With that in mind, Omi picked his way into the lock and unbolted the door with a little skill and a lot of luck. In the matter of a minute or two, the three remaining members of Weiss entered the designated residence.

And much to their surprise, found it completely barren.

Not just _empty_ but **utterly **void of any sign that _anyone_ had lived there within the last year. Naturally that was a little more than disconcerting, considering the fact that Omi himself had checked the building records and found that, indeed, four persons had been renting that particular apartment for nearly a month now.

And suddenly the whole mission was beginning to seem a little TOO easy.

The real leader of the group made hand gestures to search the area before continuing. With small nods, the other two agreed and eventually found themselves moving towards the back bedrooms. The first two, after investigation, had been just as empty as the rest of the apartment but the third door hadn't even budged when Ken tried to open it. Upon closer examination, the lock apparently had been melted into place, causing a bit of worry for all parties involved.

"What now?" Ken whispered softly, nervously glancing at Omi who was having a glaring contest with the offending lock.

"Break it down."

When the other two failed to respond, the youngest growled a little and motioned back to the door, "Well? What are you waiting for? We can't just pick the lock so, break it down. I'm going to check the last room." And with that said, he turned on his heels and walked away -leaving the other two no choice but to do as commanded. Not like either had a choice before but his walking away was just a slightly more direct way of pointing that out.

Ken turned his attention from Omi to Aya who seemed to be contemplating the door itself. Eyes narrowed set in concentration- Ken was never happier to _not_ be that inanimate object. Well... not that he wanted to be it before but-

"Stand back."

"What?"

Aya's jaw tightened and his body went ridged, "Stand. Back."

Oh fuck...

And in an instant Abyssinian was moving. The quickness of his movements were inhuman -merely flashes of light in the dull surroundings before the door gave way, breaking off its hinges and out of the frame to fall to the floor in one gallant swoop.

"Damn." Came a voice from inside, "What the hell took you guys so long?"

Tentatively, Ken lifted his eyes to view the contents of the room and there (to his honest surprise) was Yohji -all smiles and laid back like he had just been on vacation for the last couple of weeks. The brunette openly starred, rubbed his eyes and starred some more. Was it real? Could it be? Was he… really there?

"Yohji?" Siberian hesitantly stepped forward, afraid of moving too quickly and banishing this makeshift dream that had befallen him.

"KenKen?" The tall blond mocked with a grin, rising off the bed and too his feet in a single stretch.

"Holy crap, you're alive!" The soccer player finally broke into (nearly) hysterical laughter, advancing his friend in order to pull him into a friendly embrace.

And Aya had never seen the older man back up so quickly before in his life. The behavior had been all wrong for Yohji - Balinese would have never back away in fear from any of his teammates (let alone Ken)... and yet there he was, doing just that.

"Yohji?" Hidaka questioned once more, only to be interrupted by a smaller person bursting into the room with urgency filling his every motion.

"We have to leave NOW! There's a bomb in the other room!"

And then, all hell broke loose.

* * *

Schuldig was not happy. In fact, FAR from it. 

Earlier in the day, Crawford had deliberately deceived him into going on a mission that had no point, objective or goal to be obtained. In other words, Brad had tricked him into leaving the apartment so they (the rest of his team) could do what they felt they needed to do. And what exactly did _that_ entail? Moving everything in the apartment to a different location in the matter of a day. Everything. Even the (supposedly) secret stash of Russian vodka he had hidden under a loose floorboard beneath the couch. Daft bastards.

So when the already irate redhead had come home from a pointless mission to find the apartment barren, his room closed off with the lock melted shut and a time bomb waiting for _who-knows-what_... Schuldig became livid. Nagi and Farf had conveniently vacated the premises long before the German even had the chance to question them which left only Brad -Brad who had been impatiently _expecting_ him in the kitchen with all of his packed things.

"We're leaving." The man had stated, giving absolutely no room for questions or argument.

"And what about-"

"Weiss will be here in the matter of an hour to collect their teammate and unless you wish to bring death upon us all, we are leaving. Now."

Schuldig's eyes darted down to the suitcase by Crawford's feet. At least good old Bradley had been charitable enough to pack his shit for him. Green eyes glanced back at the American and a frown sunk in. Scratch that, Nagi was probably the one who packed his stuff for him -Brad was no where NEAR that considerate.

"And that's it?"

"I gave you two weeks. You failed to hold up your end of the bargain so I'm pulling through with mine."

"Brady-"

"Crawford. "

"Can I ask you something?"

"No. "

"Have you ever been mistaken for a human being?"

"No." Crawford's eye twitched, "Have you?

Once more, Schuldig frowned. Had the telepath been able to get under the American's skin or into his mind at all, life with his "esteemed leader" would have been very different (read: enjoyable). Unfortunately, breaking down Brad's barriers was like bringing down the entire wall of China by himself. It wasn't _impossible_, just highly HIGHLY improbably.

"Let's go." The older man brushed past his companion, walking out the door with the belief that German would surely follow.

And follow he did because, honestly, what else could he have done? Only a fool would believe that Estat was gone for good and there was something to be said for safety in numbers. Besides, as things stood, Weiss only existed in Japan and _they_ were what made life interesting, so as long as he stuck with Brad he could stay in Japan and taunt Weiss. Upon reaching the front door, Schuldig blew an air-kissed promise in the general direction of his room.

He'd be back.

Yohji was his property, after all, and he _wasn't_ finished playing with his property.

_TBC_

* * *

**moimoi-chan**_ - See? Yohji finally got rescued... sorta lol_

**zelda-13** _- I'm glad you liked the last two chapters (and the story on a whole), it really makes me feel better about posting it after the fact. Much luv for you!_

**darkephoenix** _- Oooh thank you! I was hoping that the pacing wasn't too slow or too fast for people to enjoy. Good to know you like it !_

**potatofreak**_ - Updated! More A/Y interaction in the next chapter :D I promise!_

**Moon without a Sun** _-_ _Haaaai I'm back! And I heart YOU for reading and liking my story XD!_

**Rosemarykiss** _- Updated as soon as I could, which isn't saying a whole lot I suppose lol._

**Skippys Cat** _- Well, your money was well placed on Brad! XD And you're also right to worry a little about Ran. If/when Ken does find out, the redhead is going to be in some serrrrrious shit buwahahaha! I can't wait :D!_

**MikaSamu **_- Looook I updated sooner than I have been updating! I even rescued Yohji ...Sorta. And yeah, Aya's (along with the other boy's) troubles are just getting started._

**One winged enjeru** _- Holy crap! You are godly for reviewing every chapter! Much love and kudos to you! I'm glad you like my work so much, don't worry... I don't plan on stopping until the story is completed. Which, unfortunately or fortunately, is still a ways away. Sometimes I wonder what kind of epic I got myself into THIS time. oi lol_


	20. Nothing Is What It Seems

Chapter 19: Nothing is what it seems

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing ;

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: **_First of all, I have to say, you all are fabulous for reviewing this story and keeping after me. Honestly, it's the reviews that keep me going so… a big thank you to you all._**

Next, Sorry this took me forever. There were problems with email not working and RL getting the way. No worries though, since the next chapter is done by Nix, it will be out only a day or two after this one. Then after that… who knows how long it's gonna take. I'm in the middle of changing jobs and I have a shit load of photo shoots and fashions shows to do, so we'll see what free time I get when I get it.

Thanks to: (see below)

* * *

"So let me get this straight..." 

Manx shifted, crossing her arms as she regarded the boys in front of her with something akin to skepticism, "You fell asleep at the wheel and crashed your car."

"Correct."

"Some 'Goodly Samaritans' happened by, picked you up and took you to their neighborhood family-run clinic."

"As far as I know, yes."

"Because you're _you_, you didn't have an ID upon your person so there was no way for them to contact us and inform us that you were in a coma for the better part of your absence."

The blond nodded again and Manx arched an eyebrow.

"Then why didn't you call us immediately upon awakening and WHY the HELL are all of you looking like you just got back from a mission!"

The group shrank under the woman's wrath, wisely fearing the barely suppressed rage boiling just under the surface. After Weiss had narrowly escaped being blown ten ways from Sunday, they managed to limp back home where Manx had (not so conveniently) been waiting for them. Apparently she and Birman caught wind of the fact that the flower boys had closed the shop for most of a week with out notifying anyone.

The darker female agent moved to stand next to her lover, openly thinking things over with a cautious eye. "Weiss…" Her nails clicked together in a sign of poignant aggravation, "the next time you decide to bring the dead back to life, tell us ahead of time." Pinning them with a speculative glance for just a little longer, Birman turned to face Manx who was allowing her own anger to subside.

A collective sigh of relief washed over the group when they realized that Birman wasn't going to rat them out or pry much further than she already had. At least for the moment, that is. It was entirely possible that she was just saving it for a later time when they were a little more rested and in better spirits than they looked to be in at that moment. Either way, she was currently the saving grace of them all and none of them were going to forget it any time soon.

"Yohji, I want you to report to some Kritiker doctors for an examination first thing tomorrow." 

Once more, Ran noted that in a rather un-Yohji-like manor, the oldest assassin faltered from the mention of an examination. Odd.

"I'm fine Birman," The playboy laughed a strangely forced laugh, "I just spent a good two weeks in a hospital. If there was anything wrong with me, the clinic would have caught it, don't you think?"

Aya rose to this, "He has a point. Further inspection would be a waste of time and money -completely frivolous."

Manx blinked, "Did you just agree with Kudoh?"

The male redhead frowned but didn't respond to her prompting.

"Nice to know you're all getting along so well." She muttered before moving on, "Kudoh, if there are _any_ signs of anything even _slightly_ wrong, I want you to see a Kritiker doctor **immediately**, understood?"

The blond flashed his superior one of his more dazzling smiles as he nodded to her arrangement. Anything to get her off his back for the meantime.

"Good." She turned to Birman who began moving towards the metal staircase -climbing the steps with all the grace of a great hunting cat.

Pausing for a brief second at the top, Manx gave a backward glance towards her agents. Or more specifically: turned and looked directly at Balinese.

"Oh, and Yohji?"

"Hai?"

"It's good to have you back."

And then they were gone.

Why were Kritiker women always so abstruse?

* * *

_I hate writing in a journal. The thought of recording my adversities and giving someone else the opportunity to chance across them does not sit well with me. Yet, here I am… doing exactly what I don't want to be doing in the hopes that writing out my observations will help me understand the situation I've inadvertently caused. Or perhaps it's 'advertently caused', depending on how you want to look at it._

_You see, I've been watching him._

_And the more I watch him, the more concerned I become. He says he's fine but his mannerisms do not say the same. He doesn't sleep anymore. He stays up as late and long as he possibly can before he passes out for a few hours then gets up and does it again. Sometimes he just drinks himself into oblivion and while he may say "it's nothing", we're all aware he's lying. You don't do that sort of thing to your body unless something is seriously wrong._

_On second thought… perhaps it's not sleep he's avoiding but, rather, his dreams. He as well as any of us knows that if you wear yourself out beyond comprehendible exhaustion... you don't dream. Your body is too tired to dream and you fall straight into a coma-like sleep._

_This concerns me for the sheer fact that I have to wonder... what is he dreaming about? Sure he had nightmares before but they never interrupted his sleeping pattern like this does. This is worse. Much, much worse._

_I'm pretty sure Omi and Ken have noticed too. Omi didn't schedule him for any Koneko shifts and Yohji didn't ask about it. Ken didn't push or pry for any information and Yohji hasn't offered any. Not to him, or Omi, or Manx or... me. No, certainly not me because out of us all, he is avoiding ME the most. _

_I wonder if he knows it's my fault._

_Something in me doesn't doubt for a minute that Schuldig told him what happened. But then, maybe Schuldig told it all wrong? I can't be sure unless I ask and I can't ask unless I see him and I can't see him unless he stops avoiding me. Which doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon._

_We haven't told Aya-chan yet. None of us are exactly sure how to break the news to her. She went through all that trouble of holding a wake and grieving for the passing of someone she apparently held quite precious to herself, it would be nearly too cruel to tell her it was all for nothing. Though it would probably be just as cruel to let her go on mourning a loss she didn't need to. _

_Distantly I wonder if she would ever hold a wake like that for me. If she would so avidly defend **me** in the face of all those who were trying to tear me down. She's a very brave girl; I don't think any of us gave her enough credit for that. _

_The only person who ever did was Yohji... and Yohji, in her eyes, is still dead._

_We really need to do something about that._

_But how exactly does one go about explaining these things to a girl so innocent as she? We could probably use the same lie we told Manx and Birman but she would insist on seeing him at once and I'm pretty sure he's not up to seeing **her** just yet. Lord only knows what Schuldig did to him and after an encounter with the enemy of THAT nature... I don't think anyone would be up to facing the sweet face of guilelessness. _

_Besides that, Yohji has a hard time deceiving Aya-chan. He simply can't bring himself to out-right lie to her face and when he does, she sees right through it. My little sister is much more perceptive than most would think –it runs in the family, she's just like mother._

_Which brings us back to the dilemma of how to break the news to her before she finds out first hand. Aya still makes frequent trips to the Koneko and eventually she's bound to run into him. After all, he IS still living here... if you can call what he's doing "living"..._

_Fuck. _

_What am I going to do? Things can't go on like this. He's wearing himself into the ground like we never really saved him.. _

_God…Maybe we _didn't

_We're the ones keeping him alive and I wonder if that's what he really wants. Perhaps if we had left him with Schuldig, that bastard would have eventually killed him. Freeing him of all those hurtful - no. No, leaving him with Schuldig would, in NO way, have been leaving him in a better situation. I have to convince myself of that before I die from the crushing weight of my own guilt. _

_I did this to him._

_This is entirely _**my** _fault…_

Aya stared at the words displayed before him with a bit of dismay lingering in his eyes. He hated feeling culpable, having dealt with enough (self) blame over the death of his parents and his inability to (apparently) do anything right. Yet, in order to evade the impending feeling of guilt meant that he was going to have to quickly absolve the current problem at hand. And that put him back at square one -the very, very, vexatious square one.

He was so screwed.

Aya simply wasn't good at facing problems by himself, but… it wasn't like he could ask the others for help. Omi was ready to kill him if he even so much as _looked_ at the chibi and Ken was (thankfully) still as "in the dark" as Manx and Birman were. Aya-chan was out of the question and Yohji... well…

Mayhap the only thing left for him to do was bite the bullet and face the music. Head on.

And that's how he ended up in front of Yohji's door, nervously willing himself to knock on it while half praying the man had gone out for the night.

"Who is it?" Apparently Lady Luck still held him in bitter disregard.

"Me." The younger assassin answered smoothly, forcing himself to keep a normal tone, which was only greeted by a long stretch of silence.

"Please go away Aya, I don't feel like company right now." Man, he sounded like shit.

"You haven't eaten today, you need to eat something." Let it not be said that a Fujimiya couldn't plan ahead. Having predicted Yohji would be suspicious of Aya wanting to talk to him, the redhead went through the effort of making soup and brining it up as an excuse to see him.

"I'm not hungry." Unfortunately Balinese was intent on thwarting his plans and keeping him locked out of the room in spite of the circumstances.

"That's not the point, you have to eat."

"Leave it by my door, I'll get it later."

And Aya scowled a little deeper, reaching the limit of his patience. He was never very good at dealing with people but he was even less good at dealing with people who were being particularly obstinate.

"Stop avoiding me and open the fucking door, Kudoh, or I will break it down myself."

Something heavy hit the ground inside the room, and for a second Aya regretted using his more commanding tone of voice. However he was sick of playing games and couldn't force himself to dance around people in fear of crushing their toes. He was blunt and to the point, that's simply the way he was.

Another silent minute passed and Abyssinian was just about ready to start pounding in the thin wooden barrier when said door finally cracked opened. The white assassin sharply inhaled and carefully schooled his face into a perfectly blank expression.

Oh fucking hell.

The blond was a mess -a complete and utter mess. How he managed to let himself go so badly in the matter of a couple of days was really beyond Aya.

Taking in another deep breath to steel himself into his resolve, the younger of the two barged his way into the room -all but ignoring the protests his teammate may have had. Carefully the redhead placed Yohji's soup upon the nightstand next to the bed then quickly turned to survey the older man's room. Various books and movies were strewn about the floor, the bed was torn apart, pillows were crumbled into a corner while miscellaneous other objects lay broken in pieces upon the floor (including a large vase that was probably the "thud" heard earlier). For all intents and purposes, the room was in total disarray.

Yohji was not a messy person.

Aya knew this because the discovery had come as something of a great shock to the "leader" when he found that, despite his teammate's lazy and carefree attitude towards life, Yohji was a surprisingly neat individual. His room was always clean with the exception of a beer can or two dispersed about the open space and a few spilt ashes from a night of bingeing.

So, to see the playboy's room in such a chaotic state was a little... unsettling.

"I'll eat the soup, you can go now." Balinese urged, taking on a casual stance by the door with annoyance lacing his every word. It was all faked and Aya knew it.

"No. I'm not going until I see you eat it." The other arched an eyebrow and the smaller man was forced to find more words in which to explain himself with. "You haven't been eating. Omi and Ken are concerned."

Yohji merely frowned and shifted in his unusually baggy clothes, absently rubbing has lips as if he longed for a cigarette. He had run out of smokes a day ago and was just being too stubborn to go out and get more. Another sign that things weren't as they should be.

"So?"

Aya gave him "a look" and Yohji shifted again. "You have to eat. Starving yourself would be unproductive."

"Says you."

Lavender eyes squinted at the lanky vision of a person before them.

"Come again?"

"Go away Aya. I'm seriously not feeling well today and I really don't want to see any one."

"Maybe you would feel better if you'd eat something."

"Why the fuck do you care if I eat or not?" The blond erupted at last, obviously running low on his own supply of patience.

Taken back a bit by the outburst, Aya glanced to the ground and touched the necklace under his shirt -striving to contain the short fuse, which was trying its damnedest to surface.

"You're a valuable asset to Weiss." He tried again, hands shaking a little with his visible attempt to keep in check. "Suicide is not acceptable."

"Valuable asset?" Aya didn't like the tone in Yohji's voice but he liked the look in the man's eyes even less. "Is that all I am? An expensive piece of property that needs tended to when broken?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you might as well have."

"Kodou--"

"Get out."

"You're being irrational." The ice in Fujimiya's eyes apparently did nothing to cool the fire in Yohji's for the man suddenly stalked forward and began physically forcing his teammate out of his room.

"I said, GET OUT!"

"Balinese!" Abyssinian snapped, turning to grab his teammate's wrist and spin them both into the wall -effectively pinning the older man in place with his hands. "Listen to me! You can't just-" and then he stopped.

Ice trickled down into the pit of Aya's stomach, which twisted upon itself when he saw the undeniably frantic fear reflecting in those jade eyes watching him. Yohji was... terrified. It didn't make sense. Yohji wasn't afraid of anyone... the man spent too long as a killer and saw too much to show fear to an enemy, let alone a teammate. Then again, since the abduction... Balinese had been acting completely out of place.

Lavender eyes narrowed ever so slightly as they graced over his teammate's body. Around the wrist he was holding there were healing circular lacerations and what could only be assumed as rope burns. Bruising of the jaw line where he had probably been hit and dark clusters of other various shaped bruises littering the neck -a fine indication of what looked to be finger prints and... bit marks. The baggy clothing hid all the other possible abnormalities, making Aya's fingers twitch with the need to pull off said clothing and see what damage lay beneath.

A pale hand moved through the darkened light to touch the edge of a long shirt, "What did he do to you?" The words came out before Aya could stop them and Yohji's entire body went ridged. His eyes turned dark and something undetectable seethed just below his expression of calm.

"Get. Off." His words promised death and Aya knew very well that Balinese wasn't joking. So the smaller man let go and allowed himself to be shoved away as he watched his teammate shrink deeper into the room. This wasn't right. God this _wasn't_ **right**!

"Yohji... He-" Why were the words so hard to form?

"Please... just go away."

And the redhead complied, speechless and at a loss of what to do.

Apparently Schuldig hadn't been lying after all.

This was worse than expected.

TBC !

* * *

**Zelda-13** - _Lol I can understand and relate about liking most of the stories. For some awesome reason, Weiss seems to attract either really GOOD writers or really BAD writers. Rare will there be a mediocre (except in my case lol). If you get around to posting a story, I'll try to find the time to read it :D! Since you've been so kind to review my story time and time again._

**PinkWhirlWind** - _You know you rock, right? XD_

**Schmetterling** - _I'll try ! Thanks for reviewing!_

**Moimoi-chan** - _Haha... ano... JUST because you said so, I'm updating today. I was procrastinating but then I got your review and was like "Oh yeah... I should probably get to that now." So, here it is! And the next chapter will follow in a couple of days. I hope you enjoy :D!_

**Uberbishyyotan** - _First off, nice name. Second, it's super cool to hear you're in awe of this fic :D! I'm glad you enjoy it and I really hope you'll like what's left to come._

**Shadowgirl1**- _I'm really pleased to hear you're impressed with it and that you like the way the characters are portrayed. This story has taken me forever to work on so positive feedback is simply wonderful. As for getting more, no problem! More is on the way :D! Please keep reading?_

**LoveyouHateyou** - _Omg you reviewed me XD! Funny huh? Well, I wasn't exactly aiming for funny (save a part or two) but glad to see you like it all the same. And I agree, it's nice to see people giving the assassins more credit and depth than they usually do -which is why I enjoy your work a lot. So, I'll keep up with mine if you keep up with yours, ne?_


	21. Apparent Symptoms

To Destroy the One You Love 

Chapter 20: Apparent Symptoms

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing ;

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: **_This chapter was written by Nix (MM and FF sn: pinkwhirlwind) -give credit where credit is due, ne?_**

****

Thanks to: (see below)

* * *

Yohji stood there, the ruined vase at his feet, soup cooling, disgrace burning against his thigh. Tangled, dirty blond hair hung around his face, like his soul could hang in tatters around him as well, and he was nothing more than a wraith, a tortured nothing of what he had been.

An image of the past flashed for him, the day before, when Aya had arranged roses, slender fingers pushing, prodding, rearranging, and sunlight had done the same to his hair, layering the lightest hint of gold in the flames and Yohji wanted to hold that image in his thoughts forever. The very slight lift of Aya's chin and the narrowing of violet eyes, which only narrowed more as Yohji had smiled at him that day. That day had been so full of hope. He would get the ring from Aya-chan soon. He'd been nothing, if not flamboyant and bold.

That's why it was his fault. Through his jeans, he pressed at the shame marked into his flesh, pushed twisted, until he felt wet through the thick cloth, and he knew then, knew it deeply as he stared at the closed door, he was going to chose in that moment if he were going to live, or not.

So crystal clear. Aya saw no value in him when he looked, just some disgusting and ruined condom thrown off and left behind. It wasn't as if he hadn't been thrown away before Schuldig made him a condom in the first place. He'd failed Asuka and he'd failed his mother. His breath went thin and his head went lighter than it was. It was his fault that Aya-chan had been kidnapped in the first place. If Schuldig hadn't wanted him, he never would have taken her, and Aya wouldn't have had to make a choice.

Yohji clawed at the throbbing ruin of his skin under the jeans, shoving the now red stained cloth into the wound, stirring it, destroying what had been carved into his flesh.

He wanted to go back to that one day before, before everything went to hell. Not that he didn't understand why Aya would trade him for Aya-chan. He would have given himself to Schuldig, even knowing what would happen, to save Aya-chan. Her laughter came back to him then, from the day they'd been in the park, and how clean he'd felt just being with her, expounding on the nature of love and telling her things that her big brother probably would have cut out his heart for. But friends talk, about all kinds of things, and it's not always fit for a children's book.

That was one thing that Aya didn't get, that Aya-chan was a real person. And a friend. Yohji wiped at a tear as it tried to slip along the line of his lips and smeared himself with blood, tainted foul smelling blood. His friend, and that little thought he held to so tightly. In all his life, even before he fucked things over so badly by letting Asuka get killed, he'd never had a friend like Aya-chan. Even with Asuka there had been some sexual tension, some thought of maybe it was more. Not with Aya-chan. Maybe because now he knew his stupid fucking heart enough to know that he wanted a different Fujimiya and really, that was the only attention he'd wanted, that way. Aya-chan hadn't liked him because of anything sexual, or anything he could do for her.

And it was gone, her liking him. Ran's words came back, sharper than Ran had actually said them, "What did he do to you?"

He could drown in the memory of Schuldig's touch and voice and smell, like he was covered over with ruin and he'd never wash it away. He could feel his mental floor tip, and death felt warm and safe, away from all that had happened, the failure, the coming disgust he knew Aya would show. All of them. Omi would feel so bad, and cry and tell him how sorry they were and how they would have come sooner if they'd known, how they'd never let it happen again. Ken would just have a rage, and Yohji didn't think he could stand a rage in Ken.

It was all his own fault anyway. Both arms crossed over his chest, shaking fingers laying against his neck. It was his own fault. He'd made that choice to save Aya-chan. Yes. He would have. He was a worthless shit and she was everything.

"You promise," she asked.

The memory was so vivid, so realistic to him, that he was once again laying on the grass in the park, looking up at the sky, one knee bent, a pink stuffed cat sprawled out on his belly.

"Do you promise me," she had asked again.

In the memory that seemed so real it scared him, made him worry that he was really losing his mind, what little of it he had, he turned to her and smiled. "I promise Aya-chan. No matter what happens, no matter what we do in life or how badly things go, no matter what, I will always be your friend and I will always want to hear from you. I promise," he'd said, and he'd meant it. There was nothing she could do or that would happen to her that would make him not want her around.

"Not even if I make Ran so angry that he swallows his tongue or if I get my nose pierced through the middle or I drop out of school and take up writing erotica novels?" She asked with that terrible seriousness that a young woman could get, as if the whole world balanced precariously on the answer to this one question.

Yohji had rolled over then and hit her with the stuff cat she'd bought for him. "Stupid. Not even if you make Aya, er, Ran swallow his tongue, though that I'd like to see. Not even if you pierce your nose through the middle and if you drop out of school, you can live with me and be my roommate, but I keep odd hours and I'm not sharing my cigarettes, I'll always be your friend, Aya-chan. Always."

She had laid down next to him, her eyes so full of love and trust and friendship and good things that it made Yohji believe in the goodness of the world then too, and she grabbed his stuffed cat and hit him back with it, then crossed her eyes before she dropped back into being serious. "I'll always be your friend, no matter what. No matter what you do and what hours you keep, even if you swallow my brother's tongue and if you're broke, I'll let you live with me, but I'm not sharing my hair gel."

"Good, because that stuff's too weak for my hair."

"Oh that's right! You need a manly gel!" She laughed. He laughed. The sun had been so warm. Later that day he'd posed for a photo for her, sitting on the back of a park bench and now, it seemed like the only light he could ever get near again.

His phone was in his coat pocket, hanging on the back of his door and he couldn't breath as very shaky hands got it out. It was the light of that day that he grabbed hold of, even if he couldn't breath and his leg screamed at him, pain down it and up, and if he wanted his whole skin to just fall off so that nothing that was close to Schuldig would have to be near him, he had that one moment of light from his memories.

In truth, he couldn't say what day it was, school day or free day, and if her number had not been programmed into his phone, he wouldn't have been able to dial it. As the phone rang, a steady rhythm, ring, ring, ring, his heart began to beat too, with it. That simple ordinary sound pulled him towards the light and the ordinary.

When it picked up on the other side, there was just silence, the sound of her breath, of her words that hadn't picked their path yet, and he jumped in, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Yohji-kun? Oh my god!" A chair fell over and he could feel her holding the phone with both hands, "Yohji-kun is it really you?"

"Yes," he said, voice wavering and not sure if the answer were even yes anymore. Maybe Yohji was dead, it was just his body waiting to catch up. "Do you remember that day in the park, the day you bought me the alley cat?"

"I remember," she said, that same seriousness in her tone again, maybe as her memory of that day came back too. "Yohji-kun, where are you? I'll come get you."

He breathed then, a slow solid breath, the first one he'd taken maybe in so long he didn't remember when. "I'm at the flower shop. Aya-chan, you'll really come get me? I need ice cream and there's no one better than you to get it with," he said, his voice trying to rise out of the tears, into some sense of cocky debonair.

"I'm coming. I'll be there in twenty minutes, Yohji-kun. You'll be there when I get there. You promise me?"

"I promise, Aya-chan. I'll be here," and then, he knew, he wasn't going to die. He'd made a promise to his friend. "Twenty minutes? You're safe, right? No one hurt you? Nothing bad happened to you?"

"I'm safe," and she wanted to ask a million questions, so many things, but she knew Yohji very well and knew how well he didn't like questions even on good days. "Twenty minutes, Yohji-kun. I promise I'll be there and I promise I'm your friend."

"Thank you," he said, as he sank down the wall to lean against his bedroom door, head on the old painted wood, tears running down his face. "Thank you," he repeated, but he'd already pressed the end key, and the call was gone, so he could sit there and repeat again, and again, "Thank you."

* * *

Aya-chan did have a million questions. One game she'd learn to play with Yohji was called 'Ask the right question'. As they'd become friends, before the friendship had become more important to her than finding out what her brother was really up to, 'ask the right question' had become a very strategic game. It was like one of those scenes in a movie where the adventurer had to step on only the right tiles or she falls through the floor into the gapping chasm of no more answers. The last thing in the world she wanted right now was to fall into the gapping chasm of no answers.

Yohji was alive.

She picked up her books and walked out of class. There would be explaining later, but that was what later was for.

Yohji was crying.

She was sure of it. She needed to be so careful right then, her little cell phone in her hand and neat slacks, hair pulled back, perfect college girl image; she needed to be so very careful. Not because her brother or any of his friends would ever harm her, no matter what they were up to, but because she was pretty sure there was something worse under those tiles if she stepped on the wrong one.

There were some things that were very certain, such as her brother was not an accountant and while she might have been unsure about it the first couple months she was awake, she was very sure that most florists did not buy very nice cars. It was also a certainty that they were not living on Omi's college loans. She knew what college loans were like. She had friends, who weren't her brother now.

It was also a fact that her beloved Ran had put on 40 pounds more muscle than she'd ever expected his scholarly little self to do. Before Yohji had gone missing, and she realized, there had been something in her subconscious that had always said 'missing', not dead, but maybe that had just been something to do with the way a human refuses to give up those they love, but even before his missing state, he'd been able to jump over a mail box from a standing start. She'd seen him do it, and climb a tree to save her neighbor's cat. Not that climbing a tree was so very odd. It was the acrobatic grace that he did it with that made her wonder. For a while after that, she'd thought maybe they were secretly male dancers.

That just didn't quite account for the deep pensive state her brother and Yohji could both fall into. That had been her first clue that maybe they were in love with each other. Their moods seem to be so interrelated. It nagged at the back of her mind though that something was seriously missing, seriously wrong, and she didn't know what it was. She did know that she had meant her promise to Yohji. She was his friend and she would come and get him.

Her mind still wanted to just stop and spin though. It was like you put in a quarter at one of those vending machines and instead of plastic little samurai, and her mind supplied the image of her brother with a katana drawn in an endless advice, you got your best friend back from the dead. Yohji was alive.

She ran then, down the stairs of the main hall of her university and towards the street where all the cabs trawled for fares. She didn't care what machine the gods had spit him out of or where he'd been or what had happened, she just wanted him back, to hug him and hold him close and tell him she loved him and had missed him and that he had to get a new job because those damn roses could be very violent, obviously.

It was the longest fifteen minutes of her life. She straightened her hair and she fussed with her shirt and she wiped away all of her lipstick. It was going to be the most high stakes tile jumping stretch of her life. Something had hurt Yohji. Badly.

Yohji had been crying.

Her mind went in circles and nothing she did could calm her heart down. Her brother might really be able to play the part of a samurai, but she wasn't much good at the nun from the mountains with wild martial arts skills and great internal lakes of calm. It hadn't worked when Yohji tried to tell her to pretend that before her test and it wasn't working now either.

Her signature looked like spilled rice as she signed the credit card charge for the taxi, and then, suddenly as she closed the taxi door, calm hit her. Her face was relaxed, her bag on her shoulder and nothing at all wrong as she opened the door to the Koneko three hours before she was supposed to be out of school. She met her brother's look, and smiled.

Omi choked on his tea, and as his eyes went wide, so wide she had no way to really describe them because she'd never seen anything like that that wasn't animated. Yes. There were tiles to be careful of. "Oh Omi-kun! How are you? Ni-san! Ken-kun! Are you getting a cold? You look pale."

The head of a rose fell from where Ran trimmed them -hit the counter, rolled, hit the floor and Aya smiled bigger. "I didn't catch you by surprise, did I?"

"You should be in school," Ran said.

And there was a kind of confidence for having the high ground. It was the same feeling as when she'd barged into their 'secret meeting' below the flower shop. She knew she was in the right. Maybe there was something of her brother's daring in her, she moved towards the stairs, hooking her bag over her shoulder. Another rose rained over the edge of the counter as her brother oddly got that same eyes-too-large-for-his-head look.

"Oh don't bother about me," she said, so cheerfully, "I've just come to see Yohji."

"We were going to tell you," Ken blurted, as Omi and Ran seemed to have been bound up by their own wisdom in being caught out. "He was at a little family clinic, in a coma. I don't know if he wants to see anyone."

Ran choked. Omi smiled, the smile faltered, he smiled bigger. "A small, very small, just one old woman family clinic," Omi said, through a very large smile that matched his eyes.

Several steps up, Aya chan leaned against the railing, and felt for the first time that she was across the tiles and that really, whatever they were hiding didn't really matter. Yohji was back. He was alive. Her brother was alive and he was still her stupid too stuffy brother and she loved him. She took a slow deep breath. "Oh don't worry. I understand that flower piracy is very dangerous. Ni-san, you should get some tea. I think you're getting the same cold Ken-kun has."

"We don't steal flowers!" Ken protested, but swallowed what else he might have said as Omi knocked a solid vase over onto the soccer player's foot.

"See Ken-kun? At least this time I didn't break it," Yohji said, smug, almost an echo of his former cocky self.

Aya-chan looked back up the stairs to find Yohji there, just coming down, dressed in black slacks and a long sleeved blue shirt, his hair washed and still wet in a pony tail. "Yohji-kun! I'm so glad you're back!"

She threw her arms around him, while he was still too far up the stairs for anyone to see more than his legs, but Aya chan saw him, and felt him cringe as she wrapped him in her arms. And any questions she had really went far away. "I am so glad you're back," she said, not so loud that it would broadcast to the others, but she didn't care if they heard. Maybe, secretly, a part of her was still angry at her brother from the wake, or something, and she didn't know, but she wanted him to worry, wanted him to feel that spark of jealousy. There really wasn't enough time to think it all through, and the first task was to get Yohji somewhere safe so she could really talk to him. "And you're taking me out to ice cream! Yohji-kun, you are the sweetest!"

She slipped her hand into his, holding his more than he held hers, and yet, feeling his need to hold, while not looking like he was. Something really really bad had happened, way beyond anything any rose could ever do.

"Ice cream, yes, that's my goal in life," he said, and he was smiling when they left the stairs, hand in hand. "I live for taking pretty girls out to ice cream."

Ran twitched, quite visibly. Another rose head jumped from the stem and arched across the counter towards Aya-chan and Yohji.

"Aya-kun, please put down the clippers," Omi said politely. "Yohji-kun, are you sure you feel like going out for ice cream?"

"Of course, he does! I'm so glad he's back. It was such a lovely surprise for you to give me too! We'll see you in a little while," she said, moving towards the door, Yohji following along as if she were his tether.

The clippers ended point down in the counter, but at least no more roses met unprofitable ends. The bell rang as the door closed.

"Are we just going to let them leave? Yohji isn't right in the head right now, you know?" Ken said.

"Maybe, maybe this will help him." Omi said, "Ran? Ran, where are you going?"

There wasn't any answer from the older Fujimiya, and Omi wondered just want they were going to do about that. "Don't worry, Ken-kun. Don't worry." Omi would take care of that for both of them.

* * *

For the longest time they just walked, hand in hand, past the shop where they bought ice cream, past the park. It was a slow walk and his hand was cool, almost sweaty sometimes, and she worried for him.

When she'd woken up, and her parents had been dead, her brother someone she hadn't known anymore, she'd felt so lost, as if she were just some left over problem that her brother had had to carry for so long. As she thought about that, she didn't find anything useful for helping Yohji, anything that seemed like a good thing to say.

He still held her hand, and she was afraid if she pulled it back, she'd lose him again.

"I'm hungry," she said, softly, as they passed a small restaurant claiming to sell American food, authentic burgers and fries.

"Do you want to get something to eat," he asked, looking up then, looking at her for the first time since they'd left the Koneko. "I can buy you something. Do you want a burger?"

"Sure, and we can share some fries and you can get a burger with bacon on it," she said, smiling kindly.

He looked back down at their hands and when he tried to pull back a little, she held on. "Okay. A burger for me too. Aya-chan, I don't know if I can go in there," he said, meaning the little restaurant.

"I wouldn't leave you standing here. I'd be too afraid to lose you again."

"Would that really be so bad? If I just disappeared?"

"Yes," she snapped, moving into his personal space and looking up into his eyes. "Yes, it would be very bad. I missed you so much. I love you."

"What if, what if I'm not the same anymore, what if I'm broken now?"

"What if I pierce my nose through the middle? Yohji, come sit down with me in the back, there and," she almost said, 'tell me what's wrong', but at the last moment, she hesitated over that tile and said, "eat with me."

"Okay," he said, trusting her when he couldn't trust himself. His stomach trusted her more than him too as it growled when they sat down. "I can't chose anything for myself right now," he said, and he didn't know why that should be true. It shouldn't be true. Always he'd made his own choices, good, bad, really bad -he'd chosen his own path and stood by it, but he couldn't right now, not even so much as choosing if he wanted a burger or a cheeseburger.

"It's okay, Yohji-kun," she said, still holding his hand across the table. It wasn't okay for her. It really wasn't. Yohji had been her ground when she started putting her life together again, his flippant rebellion and devotion to all things lovely, that had been the solid foundation she had built her sense of security on. "You're here and you're alive and that's all that matters right now."

"Okay," he said.

She felt him flinch when the waiter came to their table. She ordered for them, firm and business-like in the hope that the waiter would go away quickly and leave them alone in their back corner booth.

When they were alone again, she proved she was a Fujimiya, at least the practical part, "Are you hurt, Yohji? Physically?" There was no judgment in her voice, no pity, she might as well have been asking him if he wanted ketchup.

"Yes," he said, proving that he too might have Fujimiya somewhere in his history, for the brevity part.

She licked suddenly dry lips. Hurt meant more than a few busted ribs or something. The floral industry was very hard on Yohji and she'd seen him hurt before, so for that simple 'yes,' she knew it was more than she really wanted to know about or have to be the one dealing with it. "I passed my physics exam last week. And I lit a candle at the little shrine I set up for you in my apartment."

"Just a little one?" Yohji asked, and the smile was crooked, just a slight lift to half of his mouth, and it was the first genuine smile she'd seen out of him that day.

"Very small. I'm just a little college girl," she said, teasingly, "but I lit a candle for you every day, and prayed. I should have prayed more."

"Not your fault," he said, shifting as if something had suddenly pained him. "Maybe those prayers are why I'm here. I'm glad it was me, not Aya-chan."

"Yohji-kun, no matter what, I would want you here and me here, and for us to fight to be here. You and Ran are my family and I love you both so much. Yohji, I gave him the ring at your wake. I made them have a wake. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Yohji said, closing his eyes for a moment. Aya knew. Aya had the ring. Yohji's stomach threatened to throw back up the soup he hadn't even eaten. "Do you really think it was the right thing to do?"

"I love my brother, and I don't know him as well as I used to when he was Ran. And I don't care if you did call him Aya first, it's still stupid to call him by my name but whatever, so, Yohji, I love Ran too. He was hurting a lot after you were gone. I gave him the ring so he wouldn't be so alone, not just for you, but so he wouldn't feel so lost because he needed to know you love him. He just seemed to feel so guilty because he hadn't saved you."

"I bet," Yohji said, more bitter than Aya had expected, but his smile came back and his eyes opened again. "A little guilt can be good for a person."

Aya wasn't sure what she'd said, and she knew she wasn't decently trained as a therapist. She hadn't even told her protective brother that she wanted to study for that profession yet. "I know he would have saved you if he could have. He loves you. I just know he does."

"It must have been really fucking hard on him," Yohji said, but if Aya-chan said it, it was probably true. The light he'd been holding onto got bigger each moment as they sat there, talking. Ran had been racked with guilt. Yohji sat up a little straighter and attempted a french fry, and when that went well, he found himself actually hungry. "I'm sorry if it was hard on you though. I would never want to cause you pain, Aya-chan."

"Was it something you chose to do?" She said, again with the totally nonjudgmental tone, a smile as she bathed a fry in ketchup.

"No. I wanted to come home. I am home, right? I'm really here?"

"You are home, Yohji-kun. You are really here." She said. "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom," he said.

As he stood, a hand on the table to steady himself, she saw the way the his slacks clung to his left thigh.

"You'll be here when I come back, right?"

"Always, Yohji-kun. What happened to your leg? Is it bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" he asked.

And she saw it coming, saw the tilt to his head, and the way one knee started to bend.

"Don't!" he said as she moved towards him, "I'm okay! I'm fine!"

But he wasn't and he fell too quickly, not the way they do it in movies, not graceful, not clean, just a dropping of a man to the floor like his soul wasn't quite all there.

"Yohji-kun!" So quickly she was on her knees beside him, her phone out and the emergency number half dialed... when it clicked. Why he wasn't getting medical attention, why his self-esteem was so tattered, why he couldn't make choices, and what the last thing she'd talked to him about before he'd disappeared. He'd been going to tell her brother that he loved him, to come out to him.

She ended the call and dialed the shelter instead. "Maggie, hi, Maggie, this is Aya. I have a friend that needs some help. Can you get Shika to come down to the clinic? I need some help getting my friend there. It's important not to let anyone know. I think there may be gang activity."

"Aya-san what are you getting us into?" Maggie asked, her accent American and southern.

"What we always get into. We're going to help someone who's been battered."

**TBC**

* * *

**Moimoi-chan - **_Yeah but, honestly, I need the harassing or I'll never get the story done. It's all of you guys that keep me motivated enough to keep writing... or bother Nix into writing a chapter for me. Though, I didn't actually "bother" her this time, she asked me if she could write this chapter and... who am I do say no? Buwahhahah XD_

**Blythe - **_Oooh! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story :D! My heart hurts for Yohji to and... umm... I think both redheads need to be beaten at the same time. Though, honestly, they each have their fucked up motive for doing what they do so... I find it hard to really blame them and feel 100 in my conviction lol._

**Zelda-13 - **_I agree, it's always nice to know at least ONE person will read and review your work. So yeah, when you put them up I'll try hard to find time to read and review them. _

**Rosemarykiss - **_Yay for reading the update XD! Glad you got your fix :D_

**Uber bishy yotan - **_I'll write more but in the meantime... I'll let Nix entertain you lol. She's a much better writer than I am and if you get the chance, you should check out her stuff. It's all fairly yummy XD_

**One winged enjeru - **_You almost cried for Yotan? Awwww well... it starts to ge better from here on out. Grant, it's also gonna have a twist or two later but in the meantime... the healing begins! As for Aya... umm... I'm not sure if is or not... guess I'll have to find out as I write it lol ;)._


	22. The Setting Sun

To Destroy the One You Love 

Chapter 21: The Setting Sun

Pairing: Yohji/Aya/Yohji; Schuldig/Yohji (one sided)

Rated: Pg13-ish (For swearing mostly)

Warnings: Strongly implied yaoi, non-con, and a swearing ;

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own them! Please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Author notes: **_I'm SO sorry that this chapter took forever to get to you! Thank you to all those who sent me emails and messages – I really appreciate it. Also, another thank you to everyone else who has been patient enough to pick this story back up after such a long break. You all are wonderful and if this chapter is crappy… forgive me! A writer's block has practically eaten my soul._**

_**Oh! Another thing, don't worry about there being another LOOOONG break before the next chapter because it's already written lol.**_

* * *

Yohji wasn't sure how much time had passed between his fainting spell and his regaining of consciousness. He wasn't sure how he had gotten into a medical clinic or a hospital gown in that undefined space of time either. As a matter of fact, Yohji wasn't sure about a lot of stuff upon his sudden awakening, save two things. One, the frighteningly enormous (and rather masculine looking) woman hovering over him and, two, the intimidating needle clutched tightly in said woman's unnaturally large hand.

Having only moments to analyze the situation in a sleep-blurred state, Yohji came to the inevitable conclusion that he had died and gone straight to hell. After all, no real-world place would ever allow a woman like "Brumhelda" to man-handle (emphasis on MAN handle) a poor sob-story like Yohji in a hospital JUST after he had gotten home from an already traumatic experience with Schuldig. Life wasn't that cruel.

"Yohji-kun! You're awake!"

Then again... Yohji was also pretty sure that Aya-chan, flaws and all, would never become rotten enough to end up in Yohji's place of residence located in one of the lower sectors of hell. Which, of course, meant that this was life and life was one cold, cruel and calculating bitch.

"What's the needle for?" The blond stressed, backing up into the bed he had found himself lying upon -anything to get away from the nurse still holding the object in question.

"Antibiotics. The doctor suggested we administrate it before bandaging you up."

"Well, thanks but no thanks. I think I'll be fine without it."

The nurse gave him a rather unamused look but Yohji only further steeled himself into his resolve. There was no way in HELL he was going to let Brumhelda stick _anything_ in _any_ part of his body. Not even if God herself came down and told him-

"Yohji-kun..."

Not even if-

"Yohji-kun, you really need the antibiotics."

Not... even...if...

"...Yohji?"

Damn.

The white assassin sighed heavily "Fine," and the nurse happily went back to work.

Somehow over the years Aya-chan had apparently managed to become greater than God and _something_ about that equation didn't quite add up. Not that he really believed in "God" or anything of the sort but it was defiantly an interesting mental note that he was going to have to analyze later.

"What's in the drip?" A heavily scarred hand motioned to the plastic bag hanging in suspended animation.

"Essential fluids and vitamins. You're very dehydrated and dangerously emaciated, that's part of the main reason you fainted today. It was imperative that we hooked you up to it as quickly as possible."

He knew she was right but that didn't stop him from crossing his arms and throwing the adult equivalent of a three-year-old tantrum. He really hated it when people did things to his body without his permission - incapacitated and necessary or not.

"I'm sorry," the nurse apologized slowly, "it really WAS necessary."

And when Yohji refused to speak to her, Aya-chan took the liberty of doing so for him.

"He understands." She smiled sweetly, "He's just being stubborn."

And in the back of his mind, Yohji noted that it felt good to hear Aya-chan harass him a little. It felt normal, and safe.

"So I see." Brumhelda cracked a smile, straightening up to her peculiarly gigantic height while Balinese took a moment to squint at her neck some more. "The doctor will be in shortly to speak with you, if you need anything there is a call button on the side of your bed. Don't hesitated to use it."

"Will do." Lying had never been so easy.

"Good." The woman nodded, collecting her things as she made way to leave.

Good riddens! He could finally be scott free and all that-

"Yohji-kun..."

Then again, maybe not. Damn. Lecture time again.

* * *

Approximately twenty minutes after an hour long "conversation", Aya-chan had been forced to go home by the staff on hand, visiting hours were apparently over but they promised her that she could back first thing in the morning. To which Yohji was both delighted and mortified.

Tired eyes rested on the window where the setting sun was desperately casting its remaining rays in his direction. Twilight would fall soon and that, the assassin reflected, was his favorite time of day. Everything was washed over in various shades of blue and given the most surreal effect, truly a good time to just sit and mindlessly absorb the scenery.

"Fujimiya-san?" The doctor interjected, disrupting the peace he was trying to create while promptly ignoring her.

"Hm?"

The doctor sighed for the fourth time in ten minutes while adjusting some of the paperwork in her lap, "I asked if you wanted to press charges. The abuse to your person is rather... extensive, someone could go to jail for a long time if you would be willing to testify."

Yohji snorted, idly rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. As interesting as it would be to see Schuldig behind bars, the chances of the police catching him and keeping him there were slim. Then of course there was the small incriminating fact that neither he or Schuldig had an identity -making it a bit difficult (if not outright impossible) to press charges without the FBI sniffing about.

"No." He let the hand rubbing the back of his neck fall onto his lap, inadvertently making his skin crawl. Under his fingertips he could just FEEL the burning shame of what Schuldig had done to him and it made him angry. Angry and oddly enough defeated, or rather, ineffectual.

"You are aware of the consequences that come with not reporting someone like this to the police, are you not? They could attack again and not just you, they could attack someone else if something isn't done about it."

The blond shrugged, keeping his eyes pinned on the window, "He wont."

"How can you be so sure?"

Yohji could almost _feel_ the suspicion in her voice and the raised eyebrow at his back, but he wasn't going to look at her. Doctors like her who specified in dealing with this sort of thing were dangerous. They could read people very well and the last thing he wanted was another person intruding on his privacy. Be it warranted or not.

After a couple of silent minutes stretched by, the woman in the chair next to his bed cleared her throat and, once again, shuffled her papers before deciding to change the topic.

"Would you like to speak to a councilor?" They were worried about his mental health and honestly, they weren't so wrong to do so.

"No."

Frustration tainted the atmosphere like bad perfume, "They can help you and anything you say to them would be strictly confidential. There are a lot of...terrible things you must have experienced by the sheer amount of damage to your body, wouldn't it be nice to get some of that off your chest? Get a little of that anger or hurt off your chest?"

The assassin twitched. Kritiker had been trying to get him to see a shrink for years and if they couldn't do it, this doctor certainly wasn't going to be able to.

"There is also group therapy." she tried again, "There are a lot of women and men who have had similar traumas, Fujimiya-san. Being around other people who can relate to your pain might just help a little..."

Once more the man snorted but this time a little more bitterly than before. There were very few people in the world who could have suffered similar traumas in their life, a bunch of battered housewives and nancy boys were probably not going to relate.

"You know," the doctor finally rose to her feet after coming to the conclusion that she was talking to a brick wall, "There are other people who would benefit from your story being shared. Other people who need to hear that there is someone out there who has suffered too, someone who understands their pain. It's a chance to turn all that suffering into something better, if you're willing to try."

Yohji actually turned to look at the doctor this time. Help people? Isn't that how he got involved in this whole mess to begin with?

"Aya-san volunteers for the group therapy, if you were curious about it-" The brunette woman reached into her breast pocket and pulled out a card which she delicately handed to the man sitting on the bed. "-That's my card. Feel free to call me if you need anything, or just want someone to talk to -I'm available all hours of the day and night."

On a good (normal) day, getting that woman's number would have been marked in Yohji's book as a score. However, today was NOT a normal day so instead of celebrating, the man merely glanced at the card and placed it in his lap -to be forgotten until a later date that would never come. For, once they released him, he had no intention of ever seeing his place again, let alone seeing the doctor who had treated him in his time of humiliation.

"Thank you." He spoke softly, offering a very faint smile before glancing back out the window. Twilight had already passed.

"You're welcome." And then the door clicked shut, leaving him to his musings and the odd beeps and clicks of a hospital room.

* * *

**TBC**

**An: Yes, the Doctor called him Fujimiya-san instead of Kudoh-san for a reason :)! Also, if you're reading this on and you want to send me a more personal message, check out my forum.**


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